Excuse me, first thing I would like to say is please don't think I'm one of those people that go and spam people's pages till they review their stuff, I'm not, I've just seen some of your reviews for other people's stuff and reall respect your opinion, and I want my writing to be the best it can be.
If you haven't guessed from the first part, I would like you to review my short story, If it's no trouble.
I posted a review to your story on its page. I did skim the comments that others left you and generally agree with them (especially Sakaros's comments) but focused my review on both a holistic view of the work as well as my own points of emphasis. Thanks for sending me a link; I think it has lots of potential.
First, I would like to thank you for reading my short story!
Second, I agree with what you said. I'm going to work out the errors at an uknown point (I'm currently writing a novel that this will tie into) and I'll be sure to use your advice when I do so. And use your advice while I write the novel and any forthcoming stories I write.
Again, huge thanks for reviewing my work, like I said above, I really appreciate your opinion. Have a good weekend and God bless!