Death Star
-“Blow up” Alderaan
<Tarkin> Now, Leia, the time has come. You are scheduled for dilution.
<Leia> Dilution? How are you going to dilute me?
<Tarkin> I meant execution. But first, we will destroy Alderaan!
<Leia> No! You can’t do it!
<Tarkin> We can, and we will! Start the computer simulation!
- *simulation showing planet explode appears on a screen*
<Leia> Nooooo!!!
<Tarkin> Take her to her bell! We will determinate her soon!
<TK-422> *looks at 421* I got cell, but what’s determinate? That’s not even a real word, is it?
<TK-421> Let’s just take her to the cell; with any luck, it’ll be the next shift left to…“determinate” her.
-Arrive on Death Star
- *Falcon exits hyperspace and is hit by an asteroid*
<Luke> What was that?
<Han> We must have flown into an asteroid field or a meteor shower. It’s not on any of the charts!
<Luke> Yeah, it is. We’re here. Alderaan is over there. We’re off by about 30 parsecs.
<Han> No we’re not! This is where Alderaan is, but it’s gone! Blown away!
<Obi> Nonsense, it would take a thousand ships with more firepower than I’ve ever seen…
<Luke> Maybe it was destroyed by that space station over there.
<Han> That’s too big to be a space station!
<Obi> That’s no space station…that’s a moon.
<Luke> I’m pretty sure it’s a space station.
<Obi> It can’t be. Maybe there’s someone on the moon who knows where they moved Alderaan.
<Han> Maybe. How about we visit and ask? Chewie, lock in the artillery power.
<Chewie> Grawwr.
<Han> Well, that’s convenient.
<Luke> What’s convenient?
<Han> They already have a tractor beam on us.
<Luke> Tractor? Break it! We have to escape and warn the Rebellion!
<Obi> No need. We found the Death Star, and we have to rescue Leia.
<Luke> How do you know it’s the Death Star?
<Obi> ‘Cause that’s what it says on the side.
- *zooms to view through cockpit window. Giant DEATH STAR written on Death Star hull.*
<Luke> Oh. Well, shouldn’t we hide somewhere so the Domain doesn’t find us?
<Han> Follow me. We don’t have to hide; I’ve got stormtrooper armor in my smuggling compartments.
<Obi> Oh, boy, I like that armor. It’s white. White’s my favorite color.
<Luke> *to Chewie* Isn’t white the universal sign of surrender?
<Chewie> Grawwr.
- *Han and Luke dress in stormtrooper armor and get into smuggling compartments, then fall through the floor as TK421 and TK-422 enter the ship.*
<Han> I’m sure glad I installed these smuggling compartments.
- *At this point, C-3PO and R2-D2 are separated, all exit, leaving TK-421 and TK-422 to exit Falcon*