60,984 Pages

-Leave Tatooine

<Han> There she is: the Millennium Falcon.

<Luke> Wow.

<Obi> She’s…beautiful.

<Han> Not really, she’s just a piece of junk. So anyway, where are you guys headed?

<Luke> Alderaan. Didn’t I say that back in the cantina?

<Han> Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t changed your minds. I’ve had customers do that, you know…there was this time on Sonju V…

<Luke> Could we just get aboard? By the way, how fast does she go?

<Han> She can make eight past lightspeed. We’ll be at Alderaan pretty quickly.

<Luke> As in, eight times the speed of light?

<Han> No, the speed of light to the power of eight.

<C-3PO> Look, sir, stormtroopers.

<Han> Now that’s the worst news I’ve heard all day…

<Obi> Goody, I like stormtroopers.

*Squad of stormtroopers enters*

<Obi> Stand back, I’ve got a lightsaber, and I know how to use it!

<Luke> You’re holding it backwards.

<Obi> No I’m not! What do you know about lightsabers? *activates lightsaber* Oh, wait, yes I am.

<TK-422> We heard you were leaving, and me and the boys just wanted to say thanks for the blue milk!

<Luke> Don’t mention it.

<TK-422> No, we really appreciate it.

<Luke> No, I mean literally don’t mention it. Please. I just found out that it was originally white…and before it was blue, it was green.

<TK-422> Hey, it’s still good. *stormtroopers exit*

<Han> Well, if we’re gonna beat the rush hour hyperspace traffic, we’re gonna have to leave now.

<Luke> Alright, I suppose we have to go. I just hope I don’t get spacesick from the thought of that…ugh…blue milk.

<Obi> Do we have to?

<Luke> It was your idea! And besides, they’ll kill her if we don’t!

<Obi> They’ll kill her? They can’t do that, she’s your sister!

<Luke> Really?

<Obi> Wow, Anakin’s really affecting me. Now I’m giving away plot details!

<Luke> Anakin?

<Obi> Vader. You know...the guy with the red lightsaber and really bad anthem.

<Luke> Well, are we going to sit around giving away the plot all day, or are we going to rescue…my sister. Wow, that sounds weird. I have a sister.

<Han> Don’t let it go to your head, kid. Women are a headache, especially royalty. Anyway, let’s go.

<Obi> Yes, let’s leave before I tell you…

<Han> Just shut up and get on the ship!

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