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Tatooine
-Meet Luke

<Owen> Luke, come up here! The Jawas are here, and it’s your birthday today!'

<Luke> Coming!

*Jawas set up droids with Artoo and Threepio numbers three and five in the seven-droid line. Luke arrives*

<Owen> Pick any two of your choice, Luke. Happy birthday!

<Luke> That one and that one. *points to two droids at the end of the line as Threepio and Artoo*

*droids explode*

<Luke> Ok…those two! *points to two droids at other end of the line*

*droids explode*

<Luke> That one? *points to droid between Artoo and Threepio*

<Owen> We’ll take those two. *points to Artoo and Threepio*

*Threepio and Artoo follow Luke inside*

<Owen> How much?

<Jawa> Houdini!

*Owen hands over credits*


Death Star
-Threaten Leia

<Darth Vader> Tell us where the plans for the Death Star are hidden!

<Leia> We’ve been over this. You have to find out for yourself.

<Darth Vader> Oh, yeah…I meant, where is your Rebel base?

<Leia> I can’t tell you.

<Darth Vader> I’ll give you a Wookiee Cookiee…

<Leia> You can’t bribe me! And what would I want with Wookiee treats anyway?

<Darth Vader> It’s not…never mind.

*Tarkin enters*

<Leia> Grand Moff Tarkin, who mixes up his words. I expected you to be holding Vader’s leash.

<Tarkin> I’m not here to hold Vader’s leash, you poodle! I let brawn do that.

<Leia> I’m not a poodle! And who’s Braun?

<Tarkin> I mean fool! I’m not here to hold Vader’s leash, you fool! And I meant Pawn. I mean, Thrawn!

*camera pans to reveal Vader with a rope around his neck. Camera follows rope to Thrawn*

<Leia> Oh. So why are you here?

<Tarkin> Where is your Rebel base?

<Leia> I should have guessed…

<Tarkin> We’ll show you a computer simulation of Alderaan!

<Leia> What’ll that do?

<Tarkin> I mean, we’ll blow up Alderaan!

<Leia> You wouldn’t dare! No one dies in this series!

<Tarkin> Well, my young slave girl, that is where you are wrong…

<Leia> Slave girl? I’m a Princess!

<Tarkin> That’s what I meant.

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