Star Wars Fanon
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Tantive IIVI
-Princess Leia captured/droids escape

*TK-421 and TK-422 enter, followed by Darth Vader and four other stormtroopers*

<Darth Vader> Ah, Princess Leia Organa, sympathetic to stormtroopers, I have you now! There is no escaping!

<Leia> My ship! You ruined my ship! You and your marauding band of those poor stormtroopers…

<Darth Vader> You are coming with me.

<Leia> No! I’m not going! Not with you, Darth Vader, dum-dum-dum-da-dum-dum-da-dum-dum!

<Darth Vader> It’s Darth Vader, *Imperial March tune*. It kind of has a tune.

<Leia> No offense, but that’s a pretty pathetic tune. Maybe it’s an acquired taste.

<Darth Vader> It’s a great tune! *to stormtroopers* Shut her up.

<TK-421> Yes, sir.

*fires stun bolt, completely missing Leia*

<TK-421> Stupid helmets!

<Leia> Aww, the helmets are throwing their aim off. Why do they have to wear them, anyway?

<Darth Vader> It’s the blasters! Just come with us.

<Leia> I’m not going!

<Darth Vader> *motions to TK-421 and TK-422*

*troopers approach Leia*

<Leia> You can’t take me by force! My body can resist the efforts of your poor, helpless stormtroopers!

<TK-421> This won’t hurt a bit.

*take off head as Leia shouts for them to stop*

<TK-421> What should we do with the body?

<Darth Vader> Leave it. We’ve got what we need.

<Leia> Maybe I need it!

*start to leave*

<Leia> You’ll never guess where I hid the Death Star plans.

<Darth Vader> In the droid who’s breaking into the escape pod over there.

<Leia> Where? I can’t see!

*TK-421 turns around*

<Leia> Oh, that is him. *TK-421 turns to Vader* Wrong! That’s where I was going to hide them. I hid them somewhere else, since you so rudely interrupted me as I was about to hide them. How’d you know that was where I was going to put them?

<Darth Vader> I had to read the script to get the part, you know.

*exit all*
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