Star Wars Fanon
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Asteroid
-Escaping death’s bite

*Falcon shakes. Han runs into cockpit*

<Han> We’re leaving!

<Leia> Why?

<Han> Well, as Goldenrod over there pointed out, this isn’t a cave.

<Leia> What is it?

<Han> Space slug.

<C-3PO> The slug’s mouth is closing. We’re all doomed.

<Han> Not on my watch!

*Falcon flies out of slug’s mouth back into asteroid field*


-Out of the asteroid field

*On the bridge of Star Destroyer*

<Thrawn> Sir, it appears that the Falcon is exiting the asteroid field.

<Pellaeon> Track it, Lieutenant. Tractor beams, as soon as they’re in range, lock on.

<Thrawn> They’re moving into attack position.

<Pellaeon> What? Shields up! They must be insane.

<Sensor operator> Sir, they’ve disappeared from the sensors.

<Pellaeon> How did it happen?

<Sensor operator> They passed by and then vanished from the sensors.

<Thrawn> Hmmm…Captain, if you’ll excuse me, I must see to something.


-Out with the garbage

<Han> *whispers* Ok, when they dump their garbage, we’ll drop off and float away with it.

<Leia> *loudly* Why are you whispering?

<Han> *whispers* Sh! They’ll hear!

<Leia> *loudly* Who’ll hear?

<Han> *whispers* The…never mind. Garbage away! Detaching.

*Zoom to external view. Star Destroyer jumps into hyperspace; Falcon ignites engines and flies away.*
*subtitle: <Han> We made it! Next stop, Bespin.*
*subtitle: <Boba Fett> Aha, I was right! Next stop, Bespin.*
*Slave I jumps to hyperspace. Chiss clawcraft ignites engines*

<Thrawn> Aha, I was right! *radio static*

<Vader> Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?

<Thrawn> I’ve found them. They’re going to Bespin.

<Vader> Good work, Admiral Thrawn. It appears that your undercover work worked out after all. I’ll meet you there. Darth Vader out. *static* Is this thing off?

*Clawcraft jumps to hyperspace*
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