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-Probe hits planet

*Two X-wings flying in formation*

<Luke> See anything strange on the scanners, Wedge?

<Wedge> Negative…wait, it looks like an asteroid coming through over there.

<Luke> I’m intercepting a transmission…Domain probe droid code. Wait, it’s gone. Must’ve self-destructed.

*static on radio*

<Han> Man, am I glad to see you guys. The Falcon’s nav systems went haywire and I crash-landed here! So while I’ve been fixing the Falcon, Chewie’s been working on building a base.

<Luke> A base? Maybe we can help you with repairs, and since you won’t be needing the base anymore, we could use it. We’ll pay you well.

<Han> Oh, no, I’m not falling for that one again. I’m giving it to you for free.

<Luke> Well, that works.

<Han> On the condition that I can stay.

<Luke> You drive a hard bargain…you know what having a scoundrel with us will do to our self-image?

<Han> Your outlaw image?

<Luke> Point taken. Alright, it’s a deal.

<Han> Great! Alright, get down here and I’ll show you around.

<Luke> Roger that. *lands X-wing* Wedge, report back to fleet, tell them we’ve found a base.

<Wedge> Roger that. *exit Wedge*

<Han> Luke, buddy, come over here! *Luke leaps down next to red X on ground* And don’t step on… *Luke steps on big red X and falls through into Wampa lair* …the…never mind.

Super Star Destroyer Executor
-Discover Rebels

<Communications officer> Sir, the report from the probe droid sent to the Hoth system.

<Piett> Ignore it. It’s probably just a false alarm.

<Vader> What is this? The Hoth system? The Rebels are there.

<Piett> Sir, there are so many uncharted settlements – pirates and smugglers and the like – that we cannot ascertain for certain that these are, in fact, Rebels.

<Vader> The Rebels are there.

<Piett> How can you be certain?

<Vader> Because. Look at the camera crew. The red light’s on. Why would they be filming unless we were onto something?

<Piett> Ah…

<Vader> You must learn from the Master, Captain. Perhaps one day you will become an Admiral.

-Luke with wampa

<Luke> Gee, Han, thanks. Now I’m stuck in a cave on top of this furry white mountain.

*Luke climbs off monstrous sleeping wampa*

<Luke> He’s got a good idea. Sleeps in his fur coat. Well, I’d better see if this tunnel leads anywhere.

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