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Naboo:

<Padmé> Ah, Naboo. My homeworld, where I have my own house, my own stuff, and a body.

<Qui-Gon> Don’t get ahead of yourself, Padmé Amidala, who is sympathetic to kind people.

<Padmé> Well, Master Gui-Gon Jinn, the benevolent Jedi Master, all I wish is to be united with my person against the Battle Droids, the nice embodiments of destruction.

<Qui-Gon> There’s that noise again.

*Qui-Gon steps through door and caution sign appears warning viewers of the morbid violence that’s about to happen. Audience hears a popping sound. Qui-Gon walks out with Padmé, body and head together.*

<Padmé> Thank you.

<Qui-Gon>Gesundheit.

<Padmé> What?

* Padmé walks off and Obi-Wan appears.*

<Qui-Gon> Obi-Wan Kenobi, who can do an amazing Jedi back flip, I think we need to take out some more droids.

<Obi-Wan> Yes, Master.

*Qui-Gon + Obi-Wan jump in and slice up some droids.*

<Qui-Gon> Begun the battle has.

<Obi-Wan> Why are you speaking like that?

<Qui-Gon> Like what am I speaking?

<Obi-Wan> Like that...stop it. It’s freaking me out.

<Qui-Gon> Much to learn you still have, my young padawan.

<Obi-Wan> I hope speaking like that isn’t one of them.

*Jar Jar jumps in and slices up droids.*
*Qui-Gon + Obi-Wan fight Darth Maul. Force field closes in between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon with Darth Maul.*

<Qui-Gon> You fight well Darth Maul, my childhood friend.

<Darth Maul> Thank you, so do you and your apprentice, OWK, who can do an amazing Jedi back flip.

<Obi-Wan> Thank you.

<Darth Maul> What how did you get in here?

<Obi-Wan> I’m not entirely sure, all I know is I can’t get back out, so I might as well sit here and enjoy the show.

<Darth Maul + Qui-Gon> Okay.

*They fight more, while Obi-Wan watches.*
*DM accidentally force pushes OW across the pit.*

<Darth Maul> Stupid Dark Side power! Throws my aim off.

*Darth Maul goes into stab Qui-Gon, and Qui-Gon grabs him by the top of the head and lifts him off the ground.*

<Darth Maul> Qui-Gon Jinn, the benevolent Jedi Master, you will not defeat me because, well, you're benevolent.

*Darth Maul force pushes Qui-Gon only to be pushed back over the pit and falls into it. Qui-Gon walks up to pit and peers over.*

<Qui-Gon> Goodbye my childhood friend.

<Darth Maul> *fading* As they say on Ghorman...I forgot what it was they said...

<Obi-Wan> Uh, Master, a little help over here.

<Qui-Gon> Nonsense, you can just jump it. Use your amazing Jedi back flip.

*Obi-Wan attempts to jump over pit and falls in. He quickly grabs hold of a little notch in the wall and hangs on. He then force jumps up and grabs Qui-Gon's lightsaber, stabbing Qui-Gon in the gut.*

<Obi-Wan> oops. I kind of got caught up in the moment.

<Qui-Gon> It's ok, my young padawan, it’s only a flesh wound. Now you are a true Jedi Knight.

<Obi-Wan> Yes, master. Thank you master. Oh, and Master I’ve been meaning to ask you. How did you resist the force push?

<Qui-Gon> I am 3 times his height and I’m wearing the latest in fashion…magnetic boots.

<Obi-Wan> Well, you always did have an eye for fashion.

*Qui-Gon + Obi-Wan walk out, Qui-Gon with the lightsaber still in him.*
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