"The demonstration should be made public," said Mra Tarkin, the most important person in my administration. She walked over to me, her hardened glare pierced me. "We need to continue to show the masses what happens to dissidents."
"No, it should not. We need not make a public example of her death. The populace is well within our grasp, and the risk of inciting people to turn on us with what I have planned is not worth it. Her demise is more than sufficient. The lifeless body will quell the remaining dissent."
Mra snickered and brushed back her brown hair. My advisor's deep eyes seemed to glow at the prospect of having finally completed the process of taking down all vestiges of the former government. The parliament had been dissolved only months ago, and it was a largely popular move, seeing as my faction controlled the legislative body. The leading opposition, the Arrain Makila, was scattered and in exile across the planet—and even the sector. The media, which I run personally, has done an outstanding job convincing the Eriaduan peoples that this event was for the benefit of our society. Hope, change, and progress is our new future.
Support (2 Archivists/5 Users/7 Total)
I have no reason to object to this. It is very well written, if a bit disturbing. Savage1138 22:18, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
"he media, which I run personally, has done an outstanding job convincing the Eriaduan peoples that this event was for the benefit of our society. Hope, change, and progress is our new future. " Seems like the tense is sliding around a bit.
Whoops. Fixed. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
"Each one of these men was at least an entire foot taller than me," Your use of English units saddens me. Not really an objection but I prefer consistent metric even if canon has been unable to do so.
Usually I use metric in-universe, but I felt that a "foot" could be a more generic term that was acceptable. I'm not sure what would be a more appropriate value for this case. 'Thre decimeters' doesn't have the same feeling. I could over-approximate and say 'half a meter,' making B'Rhea even shorter and the men a little taller, but that may not be appropriate. What do you think? — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
Epic apathy. The puppy has already been metaphorically kicked, felt better about it afterward. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 17:27, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
"In the wake of the commotion, a cloud of smoke congregated near the building." Why? Assuming these are humans, it doesn't seem like there should be that much smoke from blaster shots—it's generally not shown as smoky.
Reworded to reflect a more appropriate image. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
"When she is completely reduced to ashes, pour water on them, and have the garrisoned men sweep the remains into the dust of the air. Don't let anything be sufficient to be grabbed by anyone" Seems to me that pouring water on ashes would make a sludge rather than something that could be swept away easily. Is there a reason for the water?
It was intended to be ironic, actually. He's so overrun with emotion that he's not actually thinking all of this through. He's simply reacting and acting on impulse. That's why he kissed her, shot the other soldier, etc. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
"Don't let anything be sufficient to be grabbed by anyone" This is some unusual phrasing. Thoughts?
I reworded it anyway. I wasn't happy enough with that line in the first place.
"At least they were dignified." I'm not sure what the antecedent is on "they." Were her aides dignified? It wouldn't seem so, given the blubbering by Victim #3. Were their deaths dignified? That seems mostly likely to me.
Is it supposed to be "garrison sergeants" or "garrisoned sergeants" . . . There may be use of "garrisoned" here that I'm not familiar with.
In technicality, it is reflecting the fact that the task of being stationed and positioned as ordered is being followed rather than being in a garrison unit or in a garrison-facility. I've changed it anyway, since you brought it up. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
"I see you actually have the courage to take my life yourself?" Is this really a question or an observation?
Reworded to be a saracstic question in the more formal construct. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
Given the names of the characters and some other references, I feel there's plenty more as well that should go into a BtS.
It should be up a few minutes after I submit these changes. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
That's all. The ending confuses me, tbh, but I sense there's a larger metastory that I'm just getting glimpses of. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 23:44, October 3, 2011 (UTC)
What confused you? (So that I can double check to make sure I've covered the necessary information here for the purposes of clarity.) There is a larger metastory that includes B'Rhea and his larger political connections/alienations. These are important undercurrents to the entire GAR series. He destabilizes the entire sector with his pursuits, in fact, and this allows the Seswenna Security Crisis to easily unfold. — Fiolli 18:28, October 5, 2011 (UTC)
It seemed to me that the central arc of the story was about B'Rhea and specifically his interaction with Casei, how he deals with her, reacts, etc. And then right at the end, there's an abrupt plot twist to our Mystery Man sneaking his way out of prison that seems relatively unrelated, with not much information on him otherwise. Maybe I just missed it in the first reading if it's there already. Anyway, good read, I enjoyed it. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 17:27, October 17, 2011 (UTC)
I support the nomination of the short story, but I am not always present on wikia. I will do my best to address any objections in a timely manner. — Fiolli 15:01, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
Archivist review from Atarumaster88
The Suppression is the first entry from Fiolli to join the ranks of Featured Works and, in this writer's opinion, it's about bloody time. Fiolli encapsulates a riveting, gritty tale of defiance and sadism in his short story The Suppression and while it's not a long work, it's packed with engaging character interactions and development. The only downside is the length means that some of the surrounding context into the greater story is missed by a casual reader, and there are a lot of references to other events or people. 3.5 out of 5 narrative, 4.5 out of 5 technical. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 17:49, October 17, 2011 (UTC)