Nomination comments: My first short story, clocking in at around 14,000 words, and my first attempt at horror, I hope you guys like it. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 23:26, October 6, 2009 (UTC)
That’s what they call it. The light up there. The light that travelled through the sky each day to disappear each night. That light. That was Krell.
What a funny name.
They had a name for everything - everything wasn’t just there, it had a name. Even different kinds of the same thing had a name. It was as if the Rakata had so much time on their hands that they decided to name everything.
As much as I hate the horror genre since they never go anywhere, this one surprised me. This is the first Star Wars horror story I read and I can't wait to read more.--Josh BenderTalk 16:49, October 7, 2009 (UTC)
I've been involved with the development from the early stages and have pre-read this before it was nominated. Good job by Solus. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 02:17, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
Good job Solus. I agree with Nightmare that I can't wait to read more. I'll give a better review later, but wanted to get this moving. --Kathkira talk 18:26, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
The prose is engaging and the writing voice has a nice flow. I'll need to give it a more thorough read-through at a later date, but what I read so far I liked. Then again, I'm into horror and all that, as my brother puts it "Little Miss 'Let's Rent House of Wax!" Trak NarRamble on 05:26, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
I'm going to try and provide a 1 paragraph review of everything I look at as an Archivist. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 02:23, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
Archivist Review from the Desk of Atarumaster88
Rakata is the first released short story by Solus and it's best categorized as a horror story. However, Rakata doesn't plumb the depths of the gruesome or the macabre—that would be too blunt of an approach. Instead, it teases the reader all the while setting them up for the eventual horrific realization of the true nature of the protagonist. It dodges around racy and gory scenes, saying a little and implying a lot, but the reader understands that the story of the protagonist is half Fahrenheit 451, half Nineteen Eighty-Four. The conclusion of the story is perhaps apparent to the reader a bit quickly, but that doesn't mean that they'll want to put it down. The only drawback is that the grammar is a bit confusing at first due to some peculiar conventions and liberties with narrative perspective. 4 out of 5 stars for technical quality and 4.5 out of 5 stars for narrative merit. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 02:23, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
How do I improve my technical-ness and merit-ness so that, when I write the next story, it is better? What things to I need to work on? -Solus (Bird of Prey) 11:04, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
The technical aspect was mostly with regards to word choice-you had the protagonist using some unusual (think word size and complexity) words, which didn't mesh with the overall theme of the story. As for narrative merit, I thought there could have been a teensy bit more suspense, but don't let this detract from your work at all. I only very rarely give out 5 out of 5 stars for anything. It'd have to be utterly superb and flawless to get that rating from me, and I'd have to love the story. No such thing as perfect writing and all. 5/5 is possible, but only faintly. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 06:15, October 9, 2009 (UTC)