Star Wars Fanon:FW/My Mother's Dreams

My Mother's Dreams by Brandon Rhea

Nominated by: Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 22:05, May 4, 2016 (UTC)

Excerpt

The man I love is dead. Our son…something far worse happened to him. But that's not what the men and women around me are thinking. To them, a terrible fate that had fallen on a distant world would never be suffered by another. All I can think about is Han Solo—pirate, husband, father—becoming just another casualty in a war that never ends. Yet the celebration goes on. Pilots and soldiers hug one another. They welcome the returning pilots and mourn the dead. All while another hero passes into legend, just as I will one day.

In the middle of it all, as the celebration clears, is one solitary girl. Her eyes are wet with the tears of a heartache that no one so young should ever feel. Yet even in her mourning, there's a hope that never seems to die. I don't know her, but I feel like I've known her forever. And so we embrace, comforting one another with the love we have for our friends and family, those we've lost and those who may still be found again.

In her eyes, I see myself, the woman I used to be. I see the hope that burned so bright that it fueled the fires of rebellion. And in this moment, my mind wanders.

Support (1 Archivists/0 Users/1 Total)

1. Approved! Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 20:49, June 13, 2016 (UTC)

Objections

• The Dusty Desk
  • Some kind of BTS would be much appreciated (or background if BTS is too cheesy of a name)
  • Page 2: "piece of mind" -> "peace of mind"
  • Top of page 4 "I may have never needed to know the truth" This seems a bit awkwardly phrased. Is the intent along the lines of "I may not have needed to ever know the truth"?
  • "but admire here" -> "but admire her"
  • Otherwise, pretty clean. I don't agree with all of the mental jumps in the characters, but nothing I find particularly objectionable. Cheers. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 20:23, May 18, 2016 (UTC)
    • All of these are taken care of. Thanks! - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 17:05, June 13, 2016 (UTC)

Comments

• As much as I am absolutely tepid about NuCanon, this was well-written. Full review to follow. I will message Brandon to supply an excerpt, because I cba to copy from a .pdf. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 22:05, May 4, 2016 (UTC)

Archivist Review

It's been awhile since I last read anything from Brandon Rhea, but I will tell you this: Brandon's all about getting into the head of his characters and understanding and explaining what's going on in there. That's a very noticeable trait of his writing and it's on full display here, as most of the story occurs within a few in-universe moments, with a flashback memory occupying much of the plot. Yet the gravity and emotional context of that moment has quite the story to tell, and despite my personal distaste for JJWars, I did appreciate this story for what it does--in fact, the crux of it, absent the framing device, could just as easily be applied to traditional canon. Some of the emotional links that Leia makes to her mother seem a bit tenuous for me, and I think Brandon somewhat overemphasizes the importance of Leia's newfound connection within a single moment rather than understating it or at least developing it over time. I feel it would have been more of a gradual recognition rather than a single epiphany as Brandon portrayed it. Nevertheless, I found this story compelling and well-written. 4.5/5 narrative, 4.5/5 technical. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 20:31, May 18, 2016 (UTC)