The lights were disabled. Although they would have liked to say the darkness made them depend less on their eyes and more on the Force, that wasn’t entirely true. The real reason for the darkness was due to the fact the lighting was permanently disabled in this section of the ship. The lights hadn’t worked for as long as the pair had been in it—admittedly, not long.
The Nautolan warrior moved first. His green hands withdrew the metal cylinder resting on his sash and held it near his chest. Extending his reach, the Nautolan flicked a small trigger on the cylinder, revealing the viridian blade of his lightsaber in its radiant splendor. The blade’s subtle glow revealed the Nautolan’s bulbous eyes, head-tresses—dangling like thick locks of hair from his scalp—and illuminated the robes he was wearing. However, the light was hardly enough to pierce the thick darkness around him. His lidless eyes provided acute low-light vision, but it didn’t help him enough.
His eyes scanned the otherwise featureless blackness before him. The tips of his fingers danced on the hilt of his weapon, lightly rapping against its metal surface. He wasn’t nervous. He had fought foes far stronger than his current opponent. However, the rush of battle always rattled his emotions. He trained himself to quickly subdue his violent, base emotions and steady the adrenaline rush that threatened to race through his veins. It was almost instantaneous, but it could be quicker. It could always be quicker.
Support (2 Archivists/3 Users/5 Total)
I have long been a fan of JM's writing. After putting his novel through its paces, making sure he didn't accidentally a word, badgering him about forced Lord of the Rings references, exposing minor plotholes, and pointing instances of "ravenous hair" and "stuff cuffs," I am now fully satisfied that Knight of Alderaan is up to our exacting standards here at SWF, because that's what we strive for . . . I better stop, can't keep this up with a straight face. Anyway, +1 for Knight of Alderaan. It's really quite good and JM has been extremely diligent in making the minor corrections I sent his way. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 22:43, November 11, 2013 (UTC)
The only gripe I have is on formatting: dashes are more advisable as a marker of interruption than hyphens. Otherwise, it was quite a cool read. — Fiolli 16:15, July 7, 2014 (UTC)
In the BTS of the article, you say "The Jedi's training under Thon is an allusion to the Tales of the Jedi series of comics." The Jedi's training under Thon is an allusion. The Jedi's training under Thon. The Jedi's training. The Jedi's. Jedi's. Jedi's. Jedi's. WHAT ARE YOU DOING JM76 OMG. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 05:04, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
Fixed some time ago, but confirming here. JM76 18:16, November 10, 2013 (UTC)
I've completed my review of JM's novel via email. All of those objections must be resolved before I will vote for this. I have a few additional objections on the article content.
I cannot believe that your BTS only makes the vaguest of allusions to the original plotline you used from The Dark Knight where I think the choice was to save Selias or Junara and the other died in some fiery explosion. That 2008 incarnation was so very . . . memorable. :P
Selias and Ralina, actually. And such things are better forgotten and lost to legend. JM76 18:16, November 10, 2013 (UTC)
I've been working on edits to this work with JM over e-mail and will continue to do so. It'll be unlikely that I'll post objections here for this novel unless specifically requested by another Archivist. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 04:44, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
Archivist Review from Atarumaster88
Knight of Alderaan is technically the second work by Jedi Master 76. It's also one of the longest, but you shouldn't let that dissuade you from reading this KotOR-era epic. Some of our veteran users might recognize that I occasionallysometimes moreoftenthanIcaretoadmitwhokeepsstrikingmywordsanyway give JM76 a hard time, with shenanigans like commissioning a cover that includes Shia LeBeouf or leaving silly remarks on his works. Don't let that fool you either. With most authors on this wiki, I wouldn't even bother. One, JM is a good sport, and two, his work is of sufficient quality that the flaws don't leave a lasting impression with me. The depth of his story-telling does. Knight of Alderaan is one of the best novels on this wiki. It's enthralling, with a wide variety of characters and details. Knowledge of the first novel in the series, Convict's Dawn is helpful to understanding it, as is the short story Vanguard of the Republic. In technical terms, JM's writing style is good and polished, though perhaps not fully mastered. On the narrative level, though, is where his work truly shines. The story is engaging, even if there are a few parts where the plot wears thin, they're easily overlooked in light of the greater work. This is one of the few works on the wiki that I have voluntarily re-read and would re-read in the future. 4.5/5 technical, 4.5/5 narrative. Atarumaster88(Talk page) 22:51, November 11, 2013 (UTC)