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DL:Shapeshifter

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Shapeshifter[]

Review[]

  • It it ridiculously long at least. Seems to be very informative. And I like the use of <ref> tags, but the {{madeby}} template should be removed, as it fails miserably in IE. Categorization should be enough for anybody. --Jack Phoenix (Contact) 15:57, 1 April 2007 (UTC)
  • Very long, very informative, very good pictures, and very well organized. Nicely done. --Squishy Vic (talk) (contribs)
  • Very good article made by a very good user. Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles

Things that need to be done[]

FA status to be removed?[]

Comments[]

Third Featured Article Review[]

Shapeshifter[]

FA status was removed

Complaints[]

  1. As before, I'm not about to go through and do grammar and spelling, kay?
From the transmogrifying desk of Atarumaster88
  • "are a race of polymorphic creatures thought to be merely legend." If you specify who thinks them to be legend, it's not POV. Otherwise, it is.
  • "They are an interesting race, both plagued and gifted with their rare physiology that inadvertently can make them an extremely powerful opponent." POV
  • "They were, and may still be, a very artistic race, with reportedly many achievements in music and art in both aesthetic and architectural capacities, credited to their creative minds." POV, tense issues. You can't refer to something as if it still exists; all SWF articles are presumed to be written eons after their topic was written, per MoS.
  • "- a very efficient one by the records -" POV.
  • "The Chiss refused; Lorsanan'sondora was too great an asset to be set free, unless Lorsanan Tetres remained Chiss property." POV in small doses.
  • The "Declaration of Independence" needs the Quote template.
  • "It was a brilliant, if barbarous and cruel tactic of the Shaviantarth: the tactic of fear." POV and prosetry. (Given that "flowery prose" is copyrighted by Wookieepedia. :P )
  • "The Cloak was typically not elaborate, but it was striking; bearing the colors of the banner of Lorsanan'sondora." Another small dose of POV.
  • "Derran Leshir, though well knowledged and well taught in how to rule Lorsanan, was not prepared to try and recover from the War of the Lorsanan Dissent. Derran was, unfortunately, a weak ruler." POV.
  • Please decide between "Royal Guard" and "royal guard". Don't use "Royal guard", though.
  • "Right now they needed someone who could restore the planet to its original glory, for it to shine brighter in the years ahead." Prosetry.
  • 7th para (about Restoration) could do with some rewriting to make it less stilted.
  • "Because he was a common Shapeshifter, he was extremely and disproportionally popular." A small dose of POV here.
  • "She began rebuilding Lorsanan Tetres at a reasonable rate" POV
  • "Zenith ruled well. He was not a politician, but a general, thus his ways were more straightforward and honest." POV.
  • "the Remmeras were a devastating vehicle and soon became famous for ripping right through ships" POV
  • "Remmeras were slightly expensive and, as a result, not extensively used. " POV and clarification needed.
  • "twenty-eight uninhabitable but of value, and seventy-eight barren and worthless planets. They typically took over worlds peacefully, only using force when only extremely needed" POV.
  • Rewrite first paragraph of The Shannet. Multiple errors.
  • "He did not want to destroy the reptilians but instead just teach them Shapeshifter superiority was manifested as he led the charge against them" Tense?
  • "This was to erase from the Khavasskh's mind any hint that the Shapeshifters had won merely by technology, and had they not that technology, would have easily lost. That kind of rebellion was not needed in Lorsonan right then. Zenith IV showed great bravery during that marine battle." POV.
  • "So it happened that Zenith IV's cousin Visarinthal Karinak took the Cloak upon Zenith's tragic death." POV.
  • "Fortunately, it seemed a shame to him to waste all of that work, so he let the two Shannets be completed" POV.
  • Decide between Bullett and Bullett. If it's a class of ships, it's typically italicized.
  • "The strange ships allowed them to stray closer the most massive of the ships, " Missing a word?
  • Quote template needed in The Three Years War.
  • I don't see why "biologist" and "mutant" are given the single quote treatment; they're not Shapeshifti words, are they?
  • "In some later ground battles, the difficult-to-produce symbiots were released in swarms upon the Shapeshifters, rendering them much easier to kill, since only the very strong-willed ones could stand being 'jzarked' without soon falling, writhing to the ground." Unclear antecedent.
  • "However, a slightly ruined plan is better than none at all. " Ugh. Cut this or do something drastic to it.
  • Italicize all ship names (Honor, Fist, etc.)
  • "She died sixty-one years into her reign, three planets discovered during it: Rella, Risa, and Kowak III." Find some better way to transition these clauses.
  • I generally despise contractions such as "she'd" that serve no purpose other than shorten the verbs. That said, I'd prefer the other DLs state their opinions on this matter, since I think that objecting on those ground would be pushing 3.1 a little too far.
  • "The populations were growing, it wasn’t anything serious now, and the war had slowed it down quite a bit." Uh, the war is over, the sentence doesn't flow well, and some prosetry/informal tone/POV.
  • "Though opening up small trade with the ‘Oozzinvon’ was not a bad thing, it actually helped the economy, Shapeshifters had a tendency to hold grudges, and so, the Jiinine Rebellion began." POV
  • "ShaIn operatives discovered the staged act, and though publicized, the Juur’lan’iin denied it." Wording issues, or something.
  • "Lorsanan was now a prosperous empire, able to hold its own against most any foe they would come across. It had developed a rich culture, with philosophy and the arts being one of the high priorities, with patriotism first. However, dark times were approaching the empire." POV and prosetry.
  • Tense issues in physiology.
  • "Because using them was considered a dishonorable act and was severely punished by civil and parental authorities" You might want to clarify this; as it reads, using the pheromones at all is looked down upon. Perhaps you mean to say "inappropriate use" or something.
  • "An interesting facet of Shapeshifter physiology is that they become symbionts with their mate." POV, tense.
  • "The Shapeshifter’s ability to ‘shift’ is undoubtedly why it is so coveted, scientifically. " Tense, POV.
  • Tense issues in Shapeshifting.
  • Missing some subsidiary sections. No BtS at all? This is a major concern. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 21:30, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
  1. Aside from the above problems, I'm not sure an article should be an FA if it's reportedly under construction. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page) 20:39, 17 July 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?[]

  1. Yes. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 13:33, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. Yes. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 21:30, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
  3. Affirmative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page) 20:39, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
  4. Yes. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 15:57, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
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