Star Wars Fanon
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Calm and Collected


Story

My life has always been about making a profit. Life is short and once you die, that’s all she wrote. You only have so many years to buy whatever you want and even less time to enjoy what you have. That’s why Nar Shaddaa and I get along so well. We understand each other. Nar Shaddaa doesn’t care about me and I don’t care about it. It’s all about getting what you want by any means necessary. Here, you get what you want while trying to stay alive doing it.

“Eusil!” a Rodian called for me in his native language “Get your green greedy self over here! I can’t remember the last time I saw you!”

I smiled “Weelo! What’s happening? How’s business going for you?” I walked over and rested my back against a wall with my arms crossed while Weelo stood in front of me

“Terrible. I come to Nar Shaddaa to make credits but the only customers I get are Trandoshans who threaten me all the time just so they can get lower prices- the Weequay do it too- and sometimes refugees from the Refugee Sector try to steal my stuff!” he shook his head in disappointment “I tell you Eusil, I really should’ve went somewhere else”

“And where would you go Weelo?” I laughed “If the Alliance ever found out you were selling illegal weapons- well let’s just say that the Imperial Knights won’t be willing to hear you out”

“Imperial Knights…” Weelo scoffed “Well at least business hasn’t been bad tonight. Just an hour ago I sold an illegally upgraded vibrosword. The customer was a Duros with a scar over his eye”

I cocked my brow “Scar over his- are you talking about Mudil?”

“You know him?”

“I just took about three-thousand credits from him in pazaak not too long ago. I’m surprised he still had enough money to buy anything” my survival instincts, mixed with my natural suspicion, made me think that Mudil wanted revenge. Some would call it being paranoid but I say that when you live on Nar Shaddaa, a place where 90% of the population consists of nothing but criminals, you have to always be on your toes “How good was that blade you sold him?” I asked out of curiosity

“Eusil!” Weelo laughed, acting like I had just insulted him “I sell only the finest weapons!” he said proudly “If you want to know the details, however, the sword had a poisonous blade and a grip that will help the wielder attack faster. I know it doesn’t sound much but trust me, in the hands of a bounty hunter- in fact- any bounty hunter, that’s a dangerous knife!”

Stroking my chin, I smiled at my friend and then stood up straight “Thanks for the tip Weelo…” I started walking away

“Where are you going?” Weelo asked

“Somewhere private” I replied

I walked aimlessly for about thirty minutes until I eventually found myself in a secluded yet spacious area. I was in the middle of a path where two buildings stood tall on each side. I continued walking, alone with my thoughts. After I had figured everything out, I grinned and stopped where I was at.

“Mudil” I didn’t turn around but I knew that the Duros stood behind me, clutching his newly purchased sword “What’s up? Here to challenge me to another game? Maybe we should play something else. I mean, let’s face it… pazaak is not really your game”

Like Weelo, Mudil spoke in his native tongue. I could hear his steps while he walked closer and closer to me “You cheated”

“Mudil, don’t be like that! We had so much fun together”

“Enough talk” he said while he planted his boots firmly on the ground “Are you going to give me back the credits you stole or am I going to turn you into fodder?”

When I didn’t reply, Mudil charged at me, his blade ready to slash me. I knew he wasn’t going to go for a stab. He bought the poisonous blade for a reason and that reason was to watch me die slowly and painfully. I also knew he was right-handed so I knew where he planned to strike. I turned around blocked his attack, my left arm hitting both his forearms which made him drop his sword. It’s a good thing that I myself am just a boulder with muscles. I stood a head taller than Mudil and unlike my Duros opponent, I had brains to go with it. Continuing with my spinning motion, I punch Mudil in the face with my right fist which knocked him down to the ground.

Mudil quickly recovered and he jumped right back up with his blaster already in hand “It’s too bad Eusil, you don’t get to die in the water like your Nautolan brothers”

“I don’t get to die at all” I smirked

The Duros shot at me but dodging his shot was too easy. I then lunged at him, grabbing his blaster with one hand and then knocking him out with a punch with the other. He fell to the ground once again but this time, unconscious. Mudil never stood a chance against me. He was just a sore loser who decided to take things personally. I took out my blaster and without any hesitation, shot him in the head.

“You know Mudil, you should’ve just attacked me” I said, putting my blaster away

I looked at his corpse and considered looting his remains but I decided against it. Instead, I took the sword and went on my merry way back to headquarters. Just another day in paradise.

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