CS:Dark Jedi of the Bogan

Star Wars Fanon > Council of Seers > Featured article nominations > Dark Jedi of the Bogan

This is the archived review page for the successful featured article nomination of Dark Jedi of the Bogan.

Nomination[]

Featured article (successful)[]

This section is no longer active. Should you wish to voice your opinion on the article, please do so on its talk page.

Approve (3 Council of Seers/5 users/8 total)

-Solus^{(Bird of Prey)} 00:47, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
--”'Wylind”' ^(talk) 16:13, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
Nacen ^(Talk) 00:38, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
Yes. What I liked most in the article, fanon-wise, I think, was the Code. "No knowledge, only instinct" in particular. It wasn't over-the-top like the codes of a lot of other fanon dark side groups. Drewton ^{(Drewton's Holocron)} 01:30, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks. Another veteran RPer and I came up with the code and the descriptions for it. I think it works so well since it's a direct criticism of the Jedi Order and it counters the Jedi beliefs, rather than being all OMG WE ARE EVIL AND WE KILL U like a lot of other fanon codes are. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 04:50, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
Brilliant piece of TheSWRP-ry. — JM 76 ^Droid _IRC 02:31, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
Brent Krajewski (The Forge) (Gateway) 02:48, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
After reviewing the objections and seeing as how they've all been dealt with, then I'll just give it my vote. Trak Nar ^{Ramble on} 05:10, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
It looks pretty darn good to me.-I am the Chosen One^{Train me, I will bring balance...}^Archive 02:48, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Objections

From the super-absorbant ShamWOW of Joseph the Brave:
- Introduction:
  - "...to avoid persecution from the Jedi and settled on Conscio." A comma after 'Jedi' would be nice.
  - "The renamed Dark Jedi of the Bogan trained in the dark side..." And why were renamed 'Dark Jedi of the Bogan'?
  - "Swearing allegiance to the dark side of the Force, which they referred to as ‘the Bogan,’..." It's unclear whether 'the Force' or 'the dark side of the Force' was referred to as 'the Bogan'.
  - "Swearing allegiance to the dark side of the Force, which they referred to as ‘the Bogan,’ from the ancient name for the dark side, the Dark Jedi of the Bogan were guided by a Dark Jedi Code, one based on philosophies of chaos and death that was meant to be the antithesis of the Jedi Code." Bit of a run-on here; you have a dependant clause, followed by a dependent clause, followed by a dependent clause. A separation of this into two sentences would make things more clear.
  - "Along with the Dark Jedi Code was the word of the Bogan, the leader of the Dark Jedi, which was considered to be the law of the Dark Jedi." This isn't a sentence. A dependent clause followed by a dependent clause, followed by yet another dependent clause.
- All for now. - Joe (talk) 03:37, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  - Fixed all except for the ~~second and~~ third. ~~For the second, there's no source information.~~ For the third, the context is given after where you ended the quote, namely "from the ancient name for the dark side." - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 03:45, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
Let's see:
- Is there any meaning behind the name 'Opsion'? If so, put it in, or in the BTS if it's OOU.
  - No, there's not, not in source material or any reason outside of source material. Just something someone came up with. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- Context on the Alsakan Union?
  - The context is later on - "galactic body" and "the Alsakan government." Context doesn't have to be immediate so long as it's in the same general area. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- 'Lightell's husband, was also influenced by this' add 'ability' to the end, just to be safe.
  - Just to "be safe" from what? It's not necessary to add that in there. It directly relates to the last sentence. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- 'a warship that was lent to the rogue Jedi for the purposes of the meeting' lent by who?
- Clarification on what a 'dark sided world' is? A lump of rock can't exactly choose allegiances, so this would be useful.
  - Yes it can. The Force is inherent on a number of planets, such as Korriban. Nevertheless, I added "The dark side powers inherent on the planet" in the next sentence. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- Context on the First Jedi Schism? Maybe what it resulted in?
  - I added the context in the next sentence. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- Shouldn't 'subtly' be subtlety?
- All for now. Unit 8311^Talk! 18:38, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- More:
- 'Dark Assassins were individuals who would fight from the shadows'--a bit too prosey, unless they literally fight in shadows.
  - Source material implies that it's literal. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- 'The Dark Jedi were guided by the Dark Jedi Code, one centered around the philosophies of chaos and death in the universe, which was written by the first Bogan.' Replace 'one' with plain 'which was'.
  - Not necessary, but alright. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- 'One of the reasons' to 'one of the supposed reasons', maybe.
  - Nope. It specifically says "as expressed in the fourth tenet" after it. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- 'Slaughtered'--a bit too emotive?
  - Not really. "Killed" and "slaughtered" give two different meanings, and slaughtered isn't colloquial or anything. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 20:18, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- All for now. Unit 8311^Talk! 18:46, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
- Introduction
  - Nothing...
- Formation
  - Nothing... ;-;
- Embracing the Bogan
  - Nothing again... <cries>
- Reemergence
  - Nothing... I phail...
- Structure
  - Nothing again... <weeps>
- Philosophy
- ...Nothing...I am useless...
- Locations
  - ...on the ruins of temple that housed the Bendu monks... HA! I found something. ^-^ "On the ruins of temple"? I do believe you forgot a "the." Oh yeah.
- Behind the scenes
  - Nothing.
    - Haha! I found something, Baccie. Muahaha. >:) -Solus^{(Bird of Prey)}
      - Done. I would've said you should have corrected that yourself, but I know you wanted the satisfaction of finding something. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 00:00, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Looks interesting. Will review in a little while. - Joe (talk) 02:20, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
- Hm... I won't be giving a full review, but would it be possible to denote that the links in the refs are from TheSWRP.com? Because, for example, me just reading "Of Phantoms and Traitors" really leads me nowhere. Maybe putting such titles in quotations (as they are titles of threads) and then putting "at TheStarWarsRP.Com"? Or whatever. Just a suggestion, because you can't assume readers will know those are thread titles from SWRP. Either way, not a big deal, hence why it's not an objection. –Victor ^{(talk page)} 02:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  - I had thought about that, but after awhile I figured that the same could be said by just citing Acceptance. Technically, that doesn't really tell you anything, but we wouldn't want to see "Acceptance, a novel" as a source. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 02:24, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
    - Just saying because these threads are from a website, ala external links. Acceptance is italicized as a novel should be, which gives you denotation. Otherwise, these are standalone titles. And, if not that, then you could remove the "plainlinks" code to leave the external links arrow (you know, the one you hate to see :P). –Victor ^{(talk page)} 02:30, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  - The lighter blue color of the link denotes an external link, whereas it'd be a darker blue or (if you have clicked it) a purple link for an in-Wiki/a link. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 02:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
    - Untrue, links to other Wikia sites are the lighter blue. Links that are external have the arrow and are light blue. Links that are PDFs (external, because any URL link to any Wikia comes out to the normal blue) have a little "document" instead of the arrow and are light blue. Etc. It's cool if you don't want to do it, but I'm pointing that out for factual accuracy. Wikia link, External link, and External pdf. etc. –Victor ^{(talk page)} 02:35, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  - When I say links to other wikis, I'm talking about when you do it like this. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 02:36, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
    - Still, the refs aren't considered external since you plainlinked them. Das all. –Victor ^{(talk page)} 02:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  - I don't follow that logic, since it's still a link to an external website even without the symbol, but regardless I'm not going to add the SWRP thing to the end of each one. It looks horribly redundant, and just plain horrible. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 02:40, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Wait a minute. What does "Bogan" translate to? I ask because if it's "dark side" or something, then you've got an organization called the Dark Jedi of the Dark Side. -MPK, Free Man 14:05, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

We chose it because it referenced both the dark side and the the title of the organization's leader. We had wanted to just call it "The Bogan," but we've had problems on SWRP before with not explicitly stating "Dark Jedi" in an organization like this, so we needed to also have Dark Jedi in the title. Hence, Dark Jedi of the Bogan. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 17:20, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Any other reviews? It's been nearly three weeks since this was nominated and it has yet to receive a full and proper review. - Brandon Rhea ^(talk) 06:22, September 8, 2009 (UTC)