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CS:Battle of Tahu (Cruentusian War)

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Star Wars Fanon > Council of Seers > Good article nominations > Battle of Tahu (Cruentusian War)
Star Wars Fanon > Council of Seers > Featured article nominations > Battle of Tahu (Cruentusian War)

This is the review page for the successful good article nomination and revoked featured article nomination of Battle of Tahu (Cruentusian War).

Nominations[]

Good article (successful)[]

This section is no longer active. Should you wish to voice your opinion on the article, please do so on its talk page.

Support (6 Seers/2 users/8 total)

  1. Council of Seers vote Worthy for GA certainly. Cruentus rolls forward. Unit 8311Talk! 17:13, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
  2. Quite so. I must say, I am very impressed with the project overall, I honestly thought it would go nowhere, proved me wrong. Good read. Wing msg 03:02, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
  3. Council of Seers vote Yes. Drewton Era-old (Drewton's Holocron) 14:57, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
  4. Good quality battle. --Michaeldsuarez Sabersmilygreend (Talk) (Deeds) 02:19, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
  5. Council of Seers vote It's GA quality. --Xepeyon You Speak, I've Spoken 04:02, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
  6. Council of Seers vote It will do. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page) 21:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
  7. Council of Seers vote -Solus (Bird of Prey) 11:55, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
  8. Council of Seers vote --Darth tom sig (talk) (contributions) 21:10, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Objections

  1. Council of Seers voteBefore I review the article, I'll say this picture is unacceptable. There's a bicycle in it... Drewton Era-old (Drewton's Holocron) 17:27, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Er, and why is that a problem? This is set in the equalivent of the Dark Ages of the SW universe, and tech is probably going to be a hell of a lot more simpler. Tongue
      • Yeah, but this is Star Wars. It still shouldn't be that non-advanced even in this time period. Even if it was, there wouldn't be copies of Earth items like bicycles, which are extremely un-SW. Drewton Era-old (Drewton's Holocron) 17:32, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
  2. Council of Seers vote I'll fix up the acronym of 'DTM', replacing it with 'Death's Tongue Militia' or 'the Militia' later. --Darth tom sig (talk) (contributions) 17:28, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
  3. Council of Seers vote I haven't read the whole thing, but one thing did jump out at me: "Unit felt that the article should have a 'Operation Desert Storm theme', and to this end the parts written by him were largely inspired by Black Hawk Down and his view of the war in Iraq, which he views as a destructive, foolish enterprise." It's probably not intention, but this sentence the way it is seems to suggestion that Desert Storm is part of the Iraq War, when it was actually the Persian Gulf War. A simple fix could be to say, "Unit felt that the article should have a theme similar to Operation Desert Storm from the Persian Gulf War" and then continue from there. Also, I would suggest changing the word "article" to "story". Finally, if you want to say that you disagree with the War in Iraq, just say, "and his views of the War in Iraq, which he personally opposes". Behind the scenes sections shouldn't be used as personal soap boxes, regardless of what your view on any issue is. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 18:29, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
  4. Council of Seers vote Some things I noticed right away: The section 'Background' should be 'Prelude'. In the infobox, put "stalemate" rather than "indecisive". In the casualties: You guys wrote this article, planned every detail about it, and so forth, so please list the casualties. They should be specific, especially about big leaders and weapons or ships lost. Section 'Aftermath' should be a level 3 header (not 2) and be part of the section 'The battle'. Lastly (for now), please alphabetize your categories. --Victortalk 19:21, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
      • Sorted most of that, but I have two things: the battle was not a stalemate; it was indecesive because nothing was achieved, really, and all the sides could claim victory. Also, what do you mean by listing casaulties? If you mean exact figures, then we didn't plan those. Besides, there are really no casualties of note in this battle, and I'd rather keep it ambigious then pulling shit out of my ass. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 20:11, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
    • Making this article to begin with is "pulling shit out of [your] ass" because you're making the whole thing up entirely. I don't see why you can't come up with exact figures. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 20:57, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
    • Whatever. Anyway, shit-out-of-ass figures put in. Smile Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 21:09, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Potential 3rd Cruentus GA. Unit 8311Talk! 17:14, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

I will wait to vote untill I see more of the big boys (and girls, no offence :p) comments.--Arav the Undersith (Contact Me) (My contributions) 04:40, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Featured article (removed)[]

This section is no longer active. Should you wish to voice your opinion on the article, please do so on its talk page.

Approve (0 Seers/3 users/3 total)

  • Drat you Brandon! Still a good read though.--Nightmare975 23:50, 28 March 2009 (UTC)
  1. Looks like Unit has fixed everthing asked of him so, yes. --Arav (Ancient Grove) (Lost Archives) 07:32, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
  2. --Darth tom sig (talk) (contributions) 07:51, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
    • #Receives my mark of approval. --Michaeldsuarez (Talk) (Deeds) 23:45, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
    • #Council of Seers vote Looks fine by me. --Xepeyon You Speak, I've Spoken 21:26, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
      • I just want to point out, in response to all of these votes, that this article is still very much subpar because a review has not been finished. I'm going to finish Vic's review of it so we don't pass an article that falls below standards, but if anyone else votes on this article before I do then you're pretty much voting to allow an article that lacks in quality to be a featured article. Just because a review isn't finished doesn't mean that the article is magically up to snuff. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 22:44, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
  3. Good. I've read it and can't see what could be wrong with it. Eddfreddf Winston Sabersmilybrown (Mandalorian Warrior) (The Annihilator lives) 19:30, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
    • Then you're not reviewing it very well because there are still plenty of problems that need addressing. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 01:54, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Objections

  1. Council of Seers vote From the unleashed desk of Drewton:
    • It's better to use quotation marks rather than the ' symbols for quotes in prose.
    • "The Death's Tongue Militia placed minimal forces on the planet, and instead goaded the local population into fighting for them, and laid many traps for the Necasians and Sravs." "And" is used twice here.
    • The image spreading/layout isn't great. You have a lot of images in one spot and then none at all in another. Images could also be slightly larger.
    • "Although Askar had no interest in the planet of Tahu itself, he didn't" Contractions are unencyclopedic.
    • "The Necasians, originally being two days march" Add "a" before "two days march".
    • "The Necasians were the first ones to reach the city, despite the setbacks they'd received" Another contraction.
    • "Realise" is spelled "realize".
    • "and such an epidemic wouldn't be seen on Tahu again until" Another contraction. Destroy it.
    Overall, it's well written, with only a few minor mistakes. Drewton Era-old (Drewton's Holocron) 17:47, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
    • "With the base in ruins, both sides felt they had dealt a heavy blow to the Death's Tongue Militia. (which they had not)." Looks unprofessional; the words in parantheses should be moved into the main sentence. Drewton Era-old (Drewton's Holocron) 20:08, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
  2. Council of Seers vote Review…
    • In the infobox, I recommend/suggest sorting the commanders (from the Commanders section) by surname. As for the outcome, why is it indecisive? I think stalemate is more appropriate; indecisive just means no 'historians' (that's us) can decide who won, rather than just stating it was a stalemate (a tie, no true winners or losers, but equal in gain and loss, basically overall). Well anyway, the rest of the infobox looks good, rather impressive. The former two are simple suggestions or complaints, whatever you wish to call them, but I stand strongly by them.
    • From the introduction
      • "attacked the Necasian Military and Srav Federation and spread terror amongst their civilian populations as a result" Rewrite this, as the lack of comma use may confuse a reader, to "attacked the Necasian Military and Srav Federation, spreading terror amongst their civilian populations as a result"
      • "tricking both other factions into attacking a decoy base on Tahu which they would disguise as a major base" Two things; first, explain how they tricked the other two factions, and second, instead of saying "which they would disguise as a major base", to keep the flow, change it to "which they disguised as a major base". That keeps it all in past tense.
      • "and instead goaded the local population into fighting for them" Okay, 'instead' of what? Doesn't sound like instead of anything, so just take it out.
      • Sentence beginning with "Arriving at the planet" is a run on, please cut it into two, preferably after "by said militants" (that is a good enough sentence there). Too much to swallow at once.
    • More later. --Victortalk 01:55, 1 December 2008 (UTC)
      • Sorted. And I still stand by indecesive because it can be debated which side really won, and none of them really achieved much, so I feel indecesive is the best term. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 16:56, 1 December 2008 (UTC)
    • Then change it to something like "Indecisive, as noted by galactic historians" and then make sure that the article addresses why historians believe it was indecisive (such as in the Legacy section or something). Without proper clarification like that, it looks like author POV. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 20:22, 1 December 2008 (UTC)
    • Meh, I personally don't care if you leave it as just indecisive if you're set on that. Adding 'considered' or something just gives more redundancy, but again on that, it's your call. Anyway, more review…
    • Prelude
      • Can you please properly format and source (meaning writing out website name, image taker, edits done to image, full links to who/what is in image, etc.) the image Hoodmil.jpg please? That'd be proper and rightfully crediting whoever made that original image. Also, try cropping that black line border around the image, please, so it doesn't look funny in the thumbnail. Lastly, that image caption on the image needs a period at the end.
      • Please split that first large paragraph into two. It's rather chunky and bulking up the already limited space there. A good place to break it into two would be at the sentence starting "Concurrently, Askar Invado, …"; In fact though, it might be good to break it into three paragraphs, with the third one beginning with " Although Askar had no interest…"
      • "support for itself by distributing food and aid (which it had stolen from other neighbouring worlds)" Instead of parenthesis, use commas please.
      • "an assault on said base after gaining intelligence on it" I know this is preference, but I really hate 'said base' or 'said character'. Instead, it's simpler and easier for readers if you put 'an assault on the major base after…'
      • "could arise and removing a base on Tahu." Never use italics, bolding, or any sort of markup within an article. Remove that italics.
      • "were also ones deemed incompetent or untrustworthy." By who? Otherwise, borderline POV.
      • "the Srav Federation were also taking an" Srav Federation is singular, so 'were' to 'was'
      • "thinking they'd only be" No contraction please.
      • "to depart for Tahu with too little men" 'little' could work better as 'few', although that is borderline POV. Who says it is too little? Instead, say 'too few men to face two factions at once' or something to clear that up.
      • "the Militia had no idea, at this time," 'this' to 'that', past tense. Also, the part beginning with "the Death's Tongue force was believed…" needs to be a new sentence altogether, and needs a bit of clearer wording to get the message (that they never knew what was coming) clearer, please.
    • More later. Also I'm unsure who wrote this article, it seems Tom did because of the British English grammar/spelling; I am worried that if Unit edited/wrote this too, we may jump from British to American English, and so I ask that you keep consistency in mind when writing such articles. Unless you're both using British English, of course, but I haven't checked. All I know was that the 'Prelude' was in British English. Anyway, again, more later. --Victortalk 06:59, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
      • Done. And just to clarify, we both did roughly half of the article each. I think I put it through an American spellcheck, but I may have missed stuff. Also, for the image, said state does not actually state who took the image. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 15:38, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
    • OK. Can you still fix (crop) the image though anyway? And even if there is no name for the artist, still give the name of the website in the link to the source url. More actual review later. --Victortalk 07:33, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
  3. Council of Seers vote From the screen of the Solusinator
    • Images
      • The images are not evenly distributed. There are three really close to each other in one part, and none for sections afterwards.
    • Introduction
      • The Battle of Tahu was a fairly large battle of the Cruentusian War. Wording. Does 'large' mean lots of people were involved in it, or that it was very important? Please clarify.
      • The Death's Tongue Militia placed minimal forces on the planet, and goaded the local population into fighting for them, and laid many traps for the Necasians and Sravs. Coordination. When there are three or more things, all except the last item in the series needs a conjunction after the comma.
      • [...] the Sravs and Necasians came under heavy fire from Death's Tongue militants, rioting natives, and biological weapons [...] Clarification. I do believe that 'biological weapons' could use a 'the' in front of it.
      • For the duration of the battle went into an unofficial ceasefire [...] Wording. Um...what?
    • Prelude
      • the Necasian Military began to take notice of what they had previously thought of as an insignificant faction, despite such raids as they had performed on Carrivar and Gresevokrad. Reference. 'They' who? The Power Rangers?
      • Meanwhile, the Death's Tongue Militia had set up shop on the arid world of Tahu [...] Informal. 'Set up shop' is informal.
      • Meanwhile, the Death's Tongue Militia had set up shop on the arid world of Tahu, which had fallen on hard times lately due to an influx of refugees. Reference. The word 'which' could refer to the militia, the base on Tahu, the planet, or James Kirk.
      • [...] the Death's Tongue Militia roused support for itself by distributing food and aid, which it had stolen from other neighbouring worlds and apparently began work on a major base in the planet's desert. Coherence. That last phrase had nothing to do with the first. Another sentence seems to be in order.
      • However, the Srav Federation was also taking an interest in the planet of Tahu, wanting to occupy such a planet in Necasian territory [...] Logic. Earlier you stated that Tahu was near Necasian territory. Now it is in the territory. It has hyperdrive!
      • However, the Srav Federation was also taking an interest in the planet of Tahu, wanting to occupy such a planet in Necasian territory [...] Wording. The last phrase is rather awkward.
      • However, the Srav Federation was also taking an interest in the planet of Tahu, wanting to occupy such a planet in Necasian territory [...] Wording. Though it is not wrong, it is more correct to have the one-word phrase 'however' in the middle of a sentence instead of at the beginning.
      • The Sravs, however, had no idea that the Necasians also were launching assaults [...] Phrasing. 'Also' and 'were' could do with some switching.
      • [...] and pushed not as many troops into the battle as they could have done [...] Redundant. 'Done' is unnecessary and should be removed.
      • [...] the Necasians had thought the same as the Sravs; that the assault would be easy. Fragment. A semicolon roughly equates a period. Therefore, that makes "That the assault would be easy" to be a sentence, which it is not. Change to colon.
        • That's the first two sections. I must say, this article has remarkably few errors and it promises to be interesting. Well done. I'll get to the rest later. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 21:14, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Done. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 17:36, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
  4. Council of Seers vote From the screen of the Solusinator-2000
    • Arrival
      • [...] Srav's [...] Apostraphe use. I see sprinkled throughout this article the use of 'Srav's' as a plural noun. It is not. 'Srav's' is a possessive —an adjective. It should be 'Sravs.'
      • [...] soon became bogged down in quicksand areas [...] Logic. Tahu is a desert planet. Quicksand requires salt water and is wet, so unless the marsh is near Tahu's one sea, this is unlikely. Dry quicksand, however, is found in deserts. Yes, there is a difference, and for those weirdo science people the benefit of precise wording is nice.
      • [...] soon became bogged down in quicksand areas [...] Exactness. <raises eyebrow> Is 'quicksand areas' the most vivid noun you could think of? If the place is large and well-known to the inhabitants, name the place something, maybe, and describe it. Adds flavor. Place-Where-People-Sink-And-Die or something. That way it's not 'quicksand area,' like the name of a 2D Sonic level.
      • [...] the heavy Krako Warrior Traversers vehicles being caught in the sand by some way [...] Wording. 'By some way' could be more precisely worded.
      • [...] there was little more than half a day between the two factions arriving at the city, leaving a confrontation being the key idea of the leader's of each faction. Wording. Awkward wording. Read it through a few times if you don't think so.
    • Siege
      • [...] despite the setbacks they had received earlier on with their machinery and weapons. Wordiness. 'On' is wordy and makes the sentence awkward
      • [...] they didn't spend their time preparing for the Srav arrival [...] Wording. Either 'a Srav arrival' or 'the Srav's arrival.' It is awkward as is.
      • [...]where they were suspected to have been, based upon the false information. Wording. The last phrase is awkward. So, the militia had a base on some place called False Information?
      • After just a few hours after the Necasian arrival [...] Wordiness. I think you can see what I'm talking about. 'After just' is redundant.
      • After just a few hours after the Necasian arrival the Sravs soon arrived [...] Wordiness. Whoa. You have three words that denote time - the same time I might add. Two 'afters' and a 'soon.' Just one of those words will suffice.
      • [...] but, with prior warning of the Necasians [...] Wording. So the Sravs were hanging out with a prior warning? Change to 'having' or something similar.
      • [...] but, with prior warning of the Necasians, set up weapons outside the city [...] Fragment. The use of a comma and coordinating conjunction equates a period. That makes 'With prior warning of the Necasians, set up weapons outside the city' to be a sentence. You may notice that it is not. Please fix.
      • [...] with prior warning of the Necasians, set up weapons outside the city, missile launchers being used to trap the Necasians inside. Wording. That last phrase is awkward. It might sound better if 'missile launchers being used' was changed to a gerund phrase used as the subject of the infinitive. That means change it to 'using missile launchers.'
      • [...] still unaware of the Srav's outside [...] Wording. Outside what? As well, a word other than 'outside' would be beneficial.
      • [...] still unaware of the Srav's outside due to a failure in security [...] Logic. It would take a liiiiiiiittle bit more than a breach of security not to notice 1200 Infantrymen, 200 Hammer Division troops, 190 Drakuv-class assault tanks, 90 Kurtev-class heavy assault tanks, 200 Molot-class anti-infantry platforms, 40 Okol-class mobile missile launchers, 60 Drapeznik-class assault gunships, and 50 Yukel-class assault fighters. A little peek over one's shoulder might be enough to, I dunno, "establish visual contact" as one might say.
      • The Necasians, still unaware of the Srav's outside due to a failure in security, continued their searches, until Srav missiles hit the outskirts of the city and various structures within, killing many people before the Necasians could react, and return fire with the tanks they'd brought into the city with them, holding the Srav's predominantly away from the city until only the few stray missiles fired sporadically managed to pierce Necasian ranks and destroy a structure within the city. Run-on. All that is one sentence.
      • The Srav's, holding them inside the city for a few more hours, originally planned to merely starve them out of the city [...] Wordiness. Blockading is part of siege warfare. Starving a city's inhabitants falls into that category. This is a military article, please call it something like that.
      • The Srav's, holding them inside the city for a few more hours, originally planned to merely starve them out of the city [...] Logic. This assumes that, I dunno, the Sravs could outlast the Necasians. Who have access to a city full of food. The Sravs just have the rations they came with. Whoever is in charge of the Srav's logistics is napping.
      • [...] allowed the Srav's to breach the Necaisan defense in three points, and access the city [...] Comma usage. Remove the comma before 'and.'
      • [...] the battle now was fought in close combat on the streets, the use of artillery being removed by the close proximity of each of the faction's forces. Wording. That last phrase is awkward.
    • Sorted. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 19:32, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
      • No it isn't. Go through all of my objections one by one. Especially the one about 'Srav's.' -Solus (Bird of Prey) 14:26, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
  5. Per above. -- Joe Butler (Talk to me) 00:28, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
  6. Council of Seers vote Just as a note, I have not read over the above objections, because, as we say in Mexico, no me importan.
    • Introduction
      • and "take some of the heat off [its] back" – Why is that in quotes? Seriously? There is no real source, so that's obviously made up, and completely unnecessary, particularly because there is no source where its comes from. Obviously this is just a ploy to "get some heat off [your] backs" by running around POV rules. Reword, remove the fake quote. Just write it in proper grammar, like "and relieve themselves of recent losses" or something that applies. Anything but the prosey flop.
      • By the way, the second sentence is a massive run-on. Slice and dice it. Really.
      • Death's Tongue militants, rioting natives, and biological weapons laid by said militants. – Don't say 'said militants'. Just say 'by the militants'. Otherwise, this reads sloppy.
      • For the duration of the battle went the Necasians and Sravs went into an unofficial ceasefire – Read that and tell me if it makes sense; it shouldn't, so reword it to make sense.
      • due to their treatment of the native populace. – Whose treatment of the populace? The Sravs? Necasians? Death's Tongue? Isn't really clear.
    • Prelude
      • we decieve these – Spelling. That's from prelude's quote.
      • Your image caption lacks a period.
      • ", a move considered very audacious and risky by many in the galaxy, – Why? Isn't that what war is? Isn't that what the Necs and the Sravs are doing as well? Why is this any necessary? I would say remove that as that only makes your sentence needlessly longer and has absolutely no point there. All they did was attack them both. Big deal - like I said, the others have been doing the same throughout the whole war (as that is what war is about, no?)
      • "despite such raids that said faction had performed on Carrivar and Gresevokrad." – "said faction" is unnecessary; just say 'the faction'.
      • "on said base after gaining intelligence on it" – again, just say 'the base' instead of 'said base'. That's sloppy.
      • "a planet so near to Necasian territory." – so near? I believe the proper way to say this would be 'so close to' or 'in close proximity' (removing 'so near' completely)
      • "in order to ease the pressure on them" – This is what could go in the introduction instead of that ridiculous 'quote'.
      • Okay, not really a complaint, but either stick to American English or British English, don't skip around using both. "Unbeknownst" should either be "Unbeknown" and "whilst" should be "while", or, all should be in British English. I think even Tom once told some user that 'American English is our official language omg', so per that.
      • What are "Necasian SpecOps"? No links, no context, nothing. I mean, it's almost a clear cut obvious answer, but you still need to give context.
      • "the same as the Sravs: that the assault would be easy." Replace that colon with a comma.
      • "small amount of men" Bias, as in the Human species; since we all know Humans aren't the only species in the galaxy for sure in Star Wars (unless your Alternative Project Cruentus Saga deems otherwise) then it should be something like 'soldiers' or 'troopers' or something instead of 'men.'
      • "As a result, the Death's Tongue force was believed to not have known about what was considered an 'impending doom' moving down upon them. " That sentence is redundant, you just said that in the previous one. Combine this one with that one; I just see this as sticking in some last minute POV for lulz. No but seriously, combine it, otherwise I'm reading the same thing twice in a row.
    • Arrival
      • "not aware of one another," They can find out about some base of the DTM on a rather insignificant planet, yet they can't see or detect one another and their fleets? Really? I mean, I'm sure Cruentus era isn't that backed up in technology (if there's a Star Forge years before them, I'm sure there's look-there's-an-enemy-radar stuff)
      • Again, btw, that above sentence is a major run on. Try cutting stuff out or rewording and splitting up.
      • "methods so as to shield the " 'So as to' is very wordy, needless. Just put 'to'. That's all.
      • "The Sravs, thinking that the Necasians must have discovered the whereabouts of the Death's Tongue presence in the city, and so moved their" Reword this. Read it and you'll see it needs to be.
      • "moving forwards to pave the way" Forwards? I guess that's a word, but I think 'forward' alone is fine.
      • "The Srav's, by contrast, were trekking" Remove that apostrophe from Sravs.
      • Basically, this whole article so far has been a poor read, pretty nagging to read through. The grammar is just very sloppy, choppy. A lot of rewording could go into this. I simply don't see this as featured quality whatsoever yet, not even close.
    • Siege
      • If I missed any earlier, sorry, but I meant to say do not use contractions (don't use don't, instead say 'do not'). It is uncyclopedic. :P
      • "after the Necasian arrival Srav forward units soon showed up outside the city" You already said ' a few hours after'; saying 'soon' is unnecessary/redundant
      • Last sentence a huge run on, barely made sense of it. I saw another contraction in there as well. Clean it up, split it up please.
      • "with a loss of men" Again with that bias thing I mentioned above. Say 'loss of soldiers' or something similar. Units, troopers, whatever. But not men.
      • "The Srav's, holding them inside the city for a few more hours" Again with the incorrect apostrophe. Remove it. Plural =/= apostrophe. This probably occurred various times through the article (I see another one in this sentence) so please look through it to fix it.
      • "Eventually, the actions of a Necasian traitor " What actions? Intel? Tools? PWNAGE weaponry? Maps? Give context. Otherwise this is like a deus ex to get the Sravs inside the city for no good reason really. And why would he betray? For fun? For lollerskates?
      • "of each of the faction's forces. " Should be 'factions' forces' as we're talking about two factions here.
    • Okay, I'm done for now. –Victor Redstarbird (talk page) 07:17, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Awaiting any objections. Unit 83111110 Big smallTalk! 19:45, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Vote to remove (3/5)

  1. It's clear that nobody wants to review this article. It's because it's a mess and needs a complete rewrite. The author has even said he's considering taking this down and rewriting it. Let's not wait around. Let's just do it now. I'm tired of seeing this on the FAN page. - Brandon Rhea Rebel symbol Blue (talk) 04:02, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. — JM76 Ask Archives Sabersmilyjm76 04:05, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. --Xepeyon You Speak, I've Spoken 04:23, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
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