Talk:Avatar of the Force Volume I

Review
Hello! My name is Atarumaster88 and I'm an Archivist on this website. I read your story and wanted to share a few thoughts on it.

I like the concept behind the story&mdash;what if Anakin hadn't started his fall to the dark side in AotC and left the Jedi Order. The characters seem more or less true to their canonical personalities, although I think there's a reason Lucas never gave Yoda very long lines. Reading a monologue in his inverted style of speaking grows tiresome, and I don't think it's consistent with Yoda, who wasn't especially talkative. The other concern I have with this story is the punctuation. There's a ton of missing commas and italics and other assorted grammatical things that would make reading this a lot easier. Overall, I liked the concept and am interested to see where you take it, but on the flip side the punctuation/spelling needs a lot of help and some of the writing/plot is rough around the edges. Good luck! Atarumaster88  ( Talk page ) 15:23, December 13, 2012 (UTC)