The Fanon Menace/Season 1/Episode 12 script

Tatooine -Ani and Padmé meet Watto

*Ani and Padmé walk up to Watto’s shop*

Watto?

What can I do for you?

I’m looking for a man by the name of Cliegg Lars.

Cliegg? Oh, Cliegg! Right, I sold him some equipment for his moisture vaporators and ended up getting a good deal for your mother, too.

You sold my mother?

I probably shouldn’t have told you that that way, but…anyway, want some pit droids to ease the pain? For you, half price.

No! I want to know where Cliegg is! What would I do with pit droids, anyway?

Good point. Now, about Lars...

You know, we could use some pit droids in the lake country to help around the house. At half price, it’s quite a deal.

Padmé, let’s stay on subject here. Remember the email?

Right.

Ani, are you talking to yourself?

No. Now what about Cliegg?

Are you sure about those pit droids? You don’t have a lakeside home somewhere in need of a little extra staff?

How did he know?

Watto!

<Watto>Ok.

<K1>Darth Bane! Oh, wait, wrong planet. Sorry, my bad.

<Anakin>Where is Cliegg?

<K1>How should I know?

<Ani>Not you, Watto.

<Watto>Yes?

<Anakin>Where is Cliegg?

<Watto>I dunno.

<Anakin>Could you find out for me?

<Watto>Hold on a sec.

*Watto leaves*

*Watto returns, holding a blank datapad*

<Anakin>Uh, Watto, the datapad is blank.

<Watto>I know, I just remembered on my own. I found the datapad lying on the ground. I’ll sell it to you for 150 credits.

<Anakin>If I buy it from you, will you stop trying to sell me stuff and just tell me where I can find Cliegg?

<Watto>Sorry. I’ll attempt to restrain my instincts. Anyway, Cliegg is on the other side of Mos Eisley, in a small homestead. I heard he married your mother, and freed her! Actually, I was at the wedding. It was quite nice, really. You should have been there, Ani. You mother looked so...

<Anakin>Watto! Wait, why were you there?

<Watto>I was the caterer. I’m always trying to sell something, you know.

<Anakin>Ok. So wait…on the other side of Mos Eisley. Does that mean I can take the I-395 East straight to the Dune Sea, hang a right, and take the Krayt Dragon Express north and reach Mos Eisley?

<Watto>No, you have should take the I-401 north. It bypasses Mos Eisley and the Tusken Camp, which is always congested with stampeding rontos. The I-401 will take you right past the homestead.

<Anakin>Ok, thanks.

<Watto>Watch the Jawas, though. They’d steal the speeder right from under you.

<Anakin>Thanks for the tip.

<Watto>Wait, how will you get there?

<Anakin>Right. We don’t have a speeder.

<Watto>I have one right here! In prime condition, I might add.

<Anakin>Isn’t that the speeder Jar Jar broke?

<Watto>Unfortunately...yes. I haven’t been able to sell it yet...

<Anakin>Then we’ll take it.

<Watto>You can’t have it. It wasn’t a fair bet.

<Anakin>What bet?

<Watto>Good point. 20,000 Republic Ditares.

<Anakin>I’ll give you five.

<Watto>Five thousand? Done!

<Anakin>No, five credits. I left my wallet in my other robe.

<Watto>And the mute queen doesn’t have any money?

<Anakin>She’s not mute, and being queen isn’t a high-paying job, you know.

<Watto>Five? You can’t even buy your own starship for that…but it’ll do.

<Anakin>How about 1,000?

<Watto>1,000 credits? Done!

<Anakin>Can I borrow 995 credits?

<Watto>Sure.

*Ani takes money*

*Ani hands money back along with 5 credits*

<Anakin>Here you go.

<Watto>Pleasure doing business with you.