AKwxlady Obi Wans Daughter Part one Chapter five

Eight days later Guy and Kerawyn were walking home from a housecall to check on Magni. “She looks so much bigger than when they were at your house last week,” Guy said. “Are you sure the baby is still twelve days away?”

“Oh, yes,” Kerawyn answered, “twelve days. Magni is right on schedule. The baby is sitting so that she looks even bigger right now, but all is well.”

“She is sitting…so it’s a girl!” Guy smiled and raised his eyebrows.

“No! Magni looks bigger, the baby is sitting with its butt sticking out,” Kerawyn smiled back at Guy. “I didn’t say if it was a boy or a girl!”

“But you do know, don’t you?”

“Sure, I’ve known since Magni was about a month along with the pregnancy,” Kerawyn replied. “My grandmother was better. She could often tell the sex within the first week, but that is dangerous.”

“Why would that be dangerous,” Guy asked, puzzled.

“Because, not all pregnancies survive beyond the first week or two. It’s our body’s way of making sure the baby has a healthy start.” Kerawyn paused. “I don’t usually mention I know a woman is expecting a child until I know she is at least a month along. By then, the mother has some idea, too, so it is not usually a surprise.”

Kerawyn walked a few more paces, then said, “I conceived once, with my late husband, but the pregnancy didn’t take. I had told him when I realized we had fertilized one of my eggs. We were so excited. Then we waited, and waited, and waited, but the embryo failed to attach to my womb. We cried when I could no longer sense it, but there was nothing I could do.” Kerawyn took a deep breath and Guy put his arm around her shoulders. “The accident that took Terim’s life happened the next week.” She took another deep breath and tears started falling from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “I shouldn’t have told you all that.” They had stopped walking and Guy turned Kerawyn into him and wrapped his arms around her. He placed his hand against her head and held it against his chest.

“Does anyone else know about the child you lost?” Guy asked, holding his cheek against her hair.

“No.”

Guy held Kerawyn against his chest for a few moments. Abruptly, she straightened and continued walking toward home. Guy watched her for a moment, then followed. He wondered about his lost memory. Could there be a woman somewhere with his child, waiting for him to return? How could he forget something like that? He needed to get his memory back, and soon.

Kerawyn entered her house before Guy had crossed the yard. When he closed her door, she was sitting at the chair by her large loom, but he could see she was meditating, not working the loom. Guy crossed to the fireplace and built up the fire, then went to the kitchen and filled the kettle for tea. While the water was coming to boil, he set out their cups on the small table. When he reached for the teapot, his hand met hers. “Thank you for starting the tea and getting the fire going,” she said, as he pulled his hand quickly away from the teapot. She seemed shy for the first time since he’d arrived.

“You’re welcome,” Guy answered, also feeling shy.

She made the tea and they sat at the table in silence while it brewed. When she had poured the two cups, Guy asked, “I’d like you to start working on my mind to get back my memory. I’d like to start as soon as possible.” He looked up and into her eyes. The tears were gone from their dark depths. There was a strength and kindness there, and she nodded her head ‘yes.’

“We’ll start after tea.” She smiled.

Guy reached out and took her hand that was on the table. “Thank you,” he said. “I need to remember who I am, and what I’ve left.”

A little later, with Guy lying on his cot and Kerawyn sitting on a chair near his head, she asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Guy answered and reached up to take her hand. She squeezed his hand and released it.

Placing her fingers on each of his temples, she said, “Close your eyes and clear your mind. I’m going to enter your thoughts. You will be seeing the same thoughts and memories I am. Now, take a deep breath and then our breathing will match.” They both took a deep breath in and as the breath was released Guy felt his breathing slow to follow Kerawyn’s. “Good. Now, the first part is like a journey through what you do remember. It will flow, like a river, with memories floating by. As you see them, don’t try to stop at any one particular memory of this time. Just let them pass.”

The memories started with Guy holding Kerawyn’s head against his chest. He could feel the warmth of her face and the slight shaking as she cried. “Just let it pass,” Kerawyn whispered. The next memory was of Kerawyn hands probing the pregnant Magni’s abdomen. Other memories of shared meals and laughter followed. Kerawyn using the Force to float a piece of fruit across the table to Guy and trying to get Guy to send it back to her. Guy finally sending the fruit back and almost hitting Kerawyn in the face with it. The two of them sitting and trying to help Guy reach the Force through meditation. Picking vegetables in the garden. Then a memory surfaced of Kerawyn standing across the room from Guy without clothes on. Her long white blond hair falling over full breasts as Kerawyn reached for her nightdress.

“I’m sorry,” Guy said, opening his eyes. “I shouldn’t have seen that.”

“Shhh. Close your eyes,” Kerawyn whispered close to his ear. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and we are living in one room. Now, take another deep breath.” She slowly massaged his temples and breathed in deeply. The river of memories resumed. He could see visits from other members of the village and healing sessions for his arms and legs. An excellent stew after that first bath when he finally awoke. Then the memory was of pain and jolting movement. Of being handled roughly and men’s voices. The memory of falling and striking trees. Smoke. Must escape the smoke. He coughed and she coughed, too. He was in a Starfighter heading for a planet and out of control. He was being chased by… Evil. Someone evil was trying to kill him. The evil one was in his mind, taunting him. Kerawyn screamed, “No, no, I can’t!” She dropped her hands from his head and fell off the chair onto the floor.

Guy leaped off the cot and put his arms around Kerawyn. “Kerawyn! What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Sith,” she said breathlessly. “You were being chased by a Sith. I felt his evil. The evil of a Sith will destroy an A’nir.” Breathing hard she continued, “I’m sorry Guy. You are a Jedi, but I cannot go further into your memory. Not with a Sith there. It could destroy me. I can’t take that chance. There are too many people who depended upon me.” She was crying. “Do you understand? I just can’t risk losing myself to the evil of a Sith.”

He pulled her more tightly into his arms. “I understand,” he said. “We tried. At least knowing I am a Jedi, I know I have no one waiting for me out there.” Guy noticed she was shaking and began to rock her gently. He bent and placed a kiss on her head. Maybe the Force brought him here to be with someone who needed him.

After a few minutes Kerawyn separated from Guy and said, “I need to take a bath to recuperate from that.” She stood up and smiled at him.

“Oh, okay,” he stammered. “I’ll go chop some firewood.”

“You’re really not yet strong enough for that,” Kerawyn replied. “I trust you not to look.”

 “But, do I trust myself,” Guy thought to himself. He thought back to the memory of Kerawyn without clothes and wondered why Jedi do not form attachments. It didn’t seem natural.

Kerawyn meditated while she bathed. It was her way of attuning herself with the Force. While she bathed, Guy decided to meditate, too. He sat on his cot and crossed his legs. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind, but it would not empty. He tried again. Breathe. Breathe. He heard the water slosh in the tub. She was probably washing her hair. Breathe. Breathe. Slosh. He stretched out on the cot and turned his back to the tub. Slosh. He ran his hands through his hair, then stood up and crossed to the door. Maybe some fresh air. He went outside.

When Guy returned into the house Kerawyn had finished her bath and was dressed. She was just starting to brush her wet hair. “May I do that for you,” he asked.

“If you like,” she answered handing him the brush. She sat sideways on one of the chairs at the table and Guy brought the other chair around to face her back. “Start at the bottom and work your way up,” she added as he hesitated with the brush against her head. Slowly, Guy started rhythmically working the brush through her long milky white hair.

“Tell me about the A’nir, the Jedi and,” he paused, “the Sith.”

She was quiet for a minute while he continued brushing her hair, then she took a deep breath and said, “I don’t know the whole story of the Jedi and the Sith. It goes back many thousands of years and is filled with much blood and betrayal. The Sith are evil. They survive within the Dark side of the Force. More than that, they abhor the Light. They strive to crush the Light and all those who follow in its path. The Emperor is a Sith, although I don’t believe most in the galaxy yet realize this, but I have felt it. Even though we here on Jolnir have very little contact with the Empire, I sense the evil spreading throughout its governance. There are always two dominant Sith, although there may be many underlings. I don’t know who the Emperor’s second is, but he, or she, most likely is the one who was hunting you. The galaxy will not be a safe for any Force users until the Sith are removed from power.”

“What can you do to keep yourself safe?” Guy asked. “While the Sith are in power?”

“It is possible to hide within the Force,” Kerawyn answered. Guy had finished brushing her hair and she now turned to face him. “Most of the Jedi were killed at the end of a great war a few years ago. They were deceived by the Emperor and killed by beings they trusted. I felt the great waves of betrayal and confusion as they were ambushed and slain. It was painful, even from afar.” She stopped and looked into his eyes. Guy took her hands into his. “I wonder how you escaped.”

“The Force must have some other plans for me,” he said, smiling to try to break her sadness. “You go on and I’ll make us tea.” He stood and walked over to the small kitchen.

As Guy made tea Kerawyn continued. “The Jedi Order is comprised of four main groups; Masters, Knights, Padawans, and students. The students are any child chosen to be in the order who has yet to be selected by a Master for individual training. Once they are paired with a Master they become that Master’s Padawan. After enough instruction and some sort of trial the Padawan is granted the status of Knight. I’m not really sure how it all works. I’m only telling you what my mother told me.” She smiled and shrugged. Guy handed her a cup of tea and they moved to the table. “The Jedi claim to follow only the Light side of the Force, but in reality they use both the Light and the Dark. It seems they wage a nearly constant inner battle between the Light and the Dark, and some fall to the Dark side. For many centuries, as this struggle has permeated the Order, the Jedi have shunned the very aspects of the Light side of the Force that would ease their struggle with the Dark, the A’nir.”

“And, you are A’nir?” Guy asked.

“Yes, but there are very few of us, at least that I know of,” Kerawyn answered. “As the Sith use only the Dark side of the Force, the A’nir use only the Light. It is a balance in the Force. As A’nir we cannot touch the Dark side, it destroys us. We are the empathy of the Force; the grace, the joy, the rapture. Healing comes naturally to us because the Force attunes us to the feelings of those around us, near and far. We are the love the Jedi have shunned for so many years.” She paused and looked away.

“There is more, isn’t there?” Guy questioned.

“The A’nir also have a great ability to influence the natural environment; the ground, the air, the water. This is not something we normally let others know.”

“Because they would force you to use it for their benefit,” Guy interjected. “I understand the need for secrecy. Is that what destroyed the A’nir?”

“No,” Kerawyn answered. “The Jedi destroyed the A’nir.” She turned and looked at Guy. He was looking at her in disbelief. “For centuries the Jedi have taken young Force sensitive children from their families to be raised at their Temple. A’nir children could not access the Dark side of the Force, so they failed the Jedi trials. They were sent to do other types of work and never trained. If only the Jedi had sent them back to their parents, they would have been better off. The only A’nir who survived where on remote planets where Jedi failed to search.” Kerawyn stood and walked away from the table. Guy leaned back in his chair and placed his hands over his face. How could there be so many wrongs in the universe? How could the Jedi aspire to do good and cause so much harm?

Chapter 4, Chapter 6,  Obi-Wan’s Daughter main page