DL:Battle of Cul-Huq (Cruentusian War)

Approve

 * 1) Cleared by the Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:18, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Alright, I just read through it now that Ataru's complaints have been fixed. In doing so, I can't find anything either. Nice job on the article, though there's a certain attitude as seen below that reminds me how some people don't fully understand what it means for an article to actually be featured. If things are listed that need to be improved, it's not moaning. It's called "not putting articles up that have errors in them". - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 20:27, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Jeez, I wasn't being serious... Unit 8311 20:30, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Could've fooled me. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 20:34, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * And apparently did. :-P I knew he was joking, as was I when I referred to the attitude. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:40, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Good job.- Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:53, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) As per everyone else, good job. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 19:25, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) No BtS. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  16:36, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) This is also a big concern for me, and currently the only one I have because I have to take a look at the article once more to make sure it's up to FA standards rather than just GA standards. For the authors, please don't take what the FA requirements say literally and only put one fact. This is a collaborative article in a massive collaborative project. There is a lot that you can say here. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 16:43, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Just to clarify, what sort of stuff should we put in a BTS? All I can really think of right now is simply 'this was a collaboration between Darth tom and Unit 8311, who decided to make this article a GA because they felt like it', or words to that effect. Or should we give some sort of whole background to the project? Unit 8311 12:45, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Any background you give for context should be minimal. Rather than telling you what I think should be in there, which would be hard, I'll give you a recent example of mine - the Kal'Shabbol Civil War. The Behind the scenes is a two-parter. The first part covers the initial development, where I got my ideas for the basic plot and all that. The second part, which was mostly from Solus, went over where he got his ideas which were a great deal of cultural and religious undertones. Read that and then read the one on Ussej Padric Bac III and Narod Antrell. I think these three are fairly good "BTS guides", so to speak. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 16:23, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a BTS. Not the best in the world, yes, but it's all I could think of. Unit 8311 19:52, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * That is not in any way a FA-worthy Behind the scenes section. There's absolutely no detail about anything. Also, the article lacks a Legacy section. It's required to have one. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 17:46, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Thought you might say something like that. A legacy section could be done by splitting the aftermath in half, but considering the war isn't over yet (and won't be for at least a few more months) any such thing would be very short. I'm not saying it can't be done, by the way. And yes, I know the BTS is too short, but considering that I just thought virtually all of it off the top of my head and tom added a bit, there's almost nothing to say in terms of inspiration and development. Get my drift? Unit 8311 19:38, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I've been asked to weigh in on this (probably some sort of hazing for new DLs :-P) and I've taken a peek at just the BtS for this article. 3 short sentences on this isn't what I'm looking for an in FA BtS. Who wrote the various parts of the article? How was the outcome decided between the users? Who came up with the idea? With the name? When was this designed? How does it fit into the overall war (partially addressed)? Were there historical/canonical influences? All of these things should be included in a BtS of a collaborative battle article; the fact that multiple contributed to this design process means that it should have a nice, meaty BtS. One of the things from Wookieepedia that I'd like to instill here is that a BtS is just as important as the actual history/biography section, even if it's only a tenth of the size. If it's got the == double equal signs ==, there should be some thought put into it. And that's all I've got to say about that.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:36, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Enlarged the BtS by tons, sorted out Legacy issue. --[[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 11:19, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the irradiated desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "arguably a major turning point." The word arguably tips off my POVmeter every time.
 * 3) * "full nuking of half the planet" Reword that please; how do you do a "full nuking" of half the planet.
 * 4) * "Nuking" is too informal; reword on sight.
 * 5) * "offering all Redharn critics ammunition." Ammunition for what? Their blasters?
 * 6) * "which was dangerously near the frontier of Necasian territory, and was heavily rich in resources, meaning a bonus to the war effort of both sides." Stilted wording/some POVishness.
 * 7) * "that they could buy these transmissions basic encryption codes" Reword this; some confusion.
 * 8) * Italicize class names of ships.
 * 9) **Check your infobox. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:04, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "However, Necasian DarkBirds were able to drive some of the gunships away, despite Invado's treachery, although Srav flak was filling the sky, meaning that Necasian air support was limited, with only a few Zayre daring to make the treacherous descent down to the planet." Run-on.
 * 11) * "chances of Redharn failing and he usurping" Uh?
 * 12) **Better, but some context on what he would be usurping would be nice. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Don't ever use nuke either, unless you're changing its definition from "nuclear weapon"
 * 14) * "They pushed on, intent on destroying the remaining Sravs" Unclear antecedent.
 * 15) **The wording is fine; the unclear part is the "They". Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "and the destruction was total." Reword this; it's rather weaselly.
 * 17) * "The battle had been an utter disaster, with the manipulative Askar Invado orchestrating" POV.
 * 18) * "be born with horrific deformities" Horrific is POV.
 * 19) * " Cul-Huq nearly all of its technology and designs" Missing verb.
 * 20) * "and expanded current sections already put there by Unit 8311, to raise the standard." Clarify what this means.
 * 21) * I would link to its GAN.
 * 22) *These are relatively simple fixes and I think they could be cleared up easily. Overall pretty good. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:01, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Your concerns have been addressed, my lord. If there is anything else you request from thy humble servant, please state so. Unit 8311 18:11, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Thou hast done well thus far. Make thy two last obeisances and ye shalt gain the stamp of approval from mine Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ****There. Is it to thy full satisfaction now, oh master? Unit 8311 19:59, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *****To quote Garven Dreis, "almost there . . . " Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:04, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Done. Is there anything else that thou has to moan righteously complain about? Unit 8311 20:14, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Nope, just a certain attitude. :-P Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:18, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Wow, Project Cruentus has come so far![[Image:AndeLeg.jpg|20px]] Arav (<font color="Green" size="1">talk ) 11:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments
First Project Cruentus FAN. -- iChat What I've done 08:27, 9 July 2008 (UTC)