Talk:Breakfast in Bedlam

Review from perfectly mentally stable desk of Atarumaster88
Pretty good short story, Trak. Not too long, not too short. Pacing, length, and dialogue all seem to work pretty well and the characterization was thorough and interesting. I lol'd at the crazy Lepi. I thought certain parts of the prison and the psychiatrist's office could have been described a bit more. One larger complaint was the shifting tense from past to present to future. It's pretty rare to see a story written mostly in present tense, but the shifting nature made it harder to read than it needed to be. In terms of story, all the characters and plot were well-done, though I thought there was a bit of author bias on social issues creeping into the psychiatrist character and to a lesser extent Toryn Farr. 3 out of 5 for technical, 4 out of 5 narrative. Good read. Atarumaster88  ( Talk page ) 02:56, February 6, 2010 (UTC)