Thread:Sebolto/@comment-104549-20190326194958/@comment-1998339-20190327005412

Since you asked, I have a few thoughts based on my quick read-through of The Liberator. I intend to read it again more closely in a few weeks, so my thoughts (specifically my criticisms) are subject to change. These are just some cursory notes I jotted down as I powered through the chapters in the course of a Saturday afternoon.

Naturally, as with all the installments thus far, I certainly enjoyed it. It was nice to finally have a series entry focused exclusively on Mali & Aldayr. Fleshing out the Chun sisters a bit more was a great idea too&mdash;they've definitely got a fair bit of that "lovable rogue" smuggler vibe common in classic SW media. As always, I love whenever Sil Kadych makes an appearance&mdash;once the series is brought to a conclusion, I'd love to see him star in an origins spinoff of his own (Kadych: An Untitled New Sith Wars Series Story). Additionally, as far as stylistic things are concerned, "aurekay" is a brilliant bit of wordplay & "my photoreceptor is up here, General" made me laugh.

As far as criticisms are concerned, the biggest problem I have is with the nonlinear chapter progression. I know it's a common technique many writers like to use, but in this context, it took away a lot of the suspense that would have otherwise been built up from wondering whether Mali would be able to pull together his little coalition in time. Basically, right from the first few chapters, we know he will cobble together some semblance of an invasion force & succeed in taking the planet. The only question remaining to be answered is how he manages to pull it off. That does the novel a grave disservice in my opinion. Given the poor state of the war & the lack of available forces with which to liberate Milagro & secure Corellia, the success of the mission is in question from the start. As such, the element of suspense could have been maintained for a great many chapters prior to the invasion, leaving the reader wondering whether Mali will have enough ships & external support from the Corellians, Jedi/Republic, & Tapani to make good on his promised return. However, since I as a reader knew our fearless heroes would manage to take Milagro from the start of the novel, later chapters' detailing of issues in securing enough vessels & allies seemed inconsequential & not like genuinely threatening obstacles to be overcome. Their impact was lessened as a result.

Relatedly, some of these cuts back & forth felt awkward & jarring in places. For example, the jump back to the Kaivalts & their initial discussions about joining Mali's crusade happens pretty late in the novel (around the 3/4 mark IIRC), long after the reader learns of their involvement in the coalition. It just felt out of place there from my perspective. There were several more, but this was the only one I wrote down.

Another issue I had (& this may be unfair depending on whether or not the subplot & characters make a reappearance down the road) was with the unsatisfactory resolution to the Jeh-Kro & Flame of Retribution subplot. There was a fair bit of work put into describing the Pastor's mystical practices & cultist beliefs with the intention of building him up as a potential threat. However, the payoff was less than satisfactory. His offscreen death didn't seem to have nearly the political impact the heroes had predicted & left a lot of questions unanswered. Given the series' portrayal of the Jedi Shadows as flawed & potentially untrustworthy individuals of dubious alignment, are we as readers to believe the Cathar Shadows' account of the engagement? Was that the point of keeping the fight offscreen, to introduce some ambiguity & leave the readers wondering along with the Milagroans whether the Jedi were telling the full truth? Again, this may be answered down the road & justified in the end, but under present circumstances, I was left wanting more answers & a more satisfying conclusion to the arc.

A minor note related to this subplot: I think the elements should be emphasized a bit more&mdash;I knew about that facet of the EU before reading this installment but I failed to realize the Pastor was actually preaching the tenets of that sect until I read his mainspace article. I might have missed the explicit references if they were there, but I recall Vahl only being referred to as "the goddess" in the text. Since I was missing the greater context of the sect in question, I was left trying to figure out what specifically the Pastor was preaching. I thought at first he was some sort of user or something. As I said, I powered through the novel pretty quickly, so if I missed the explicit references, that's on me.

As before, take these thoughts with a grain of salt. Unlike MPK, I'm just a layperson with little actual writing experience of my own. Criticisms aside, know that I have genuinely enjoyed the series thus far & look forward to Episode XVI: Return of the Kadych.