Second Chance/Part 11

They laid the fallen Jedi on biers in the open field behind the chapter house—Saotu, Finja, and a Quermian Jedi Knight named Omiyan Beltess who had died on the front lines. Tirien had seen Saotu's body before it was draped in white cloth like the others; the Ho'Din had gone down to enough lightsaber wounds to kill half a dozen Jedi. With the Sith siege pressing in, only Tirien and Narasi had been relieved to attend the ceremony, along with a bandaged Iktotchi Jedi Sentinel who had lost a hand, a horn, and part of her jaw to Darth Vandak. But a crowd of Taanabians, Pandathians and suburban refugees alike, had filed into the field or crowded open windows in buildings nearby.

As the only Jedi Knight present who was still capable of speech, Tirien stood between his comrades, for it fell to him to speak. He had considered the moment since Master Cazars gave him the duty, and he found every word he pondered painfully lacking. He remembered Saotu's quiet, gentle presence, and the tranquility the Ho'Din had fostered in the chapter house. Trying to sum up even one of the slain in the brief time the war allowed for a eulogy was a hopeless pursuit.

But to send them to the Force without any words at all would dishonor their memory, and so Tirien withdrew himself from a moment of meditation and stepped forward.

"The Jedi teach that there is no death, there is the Force," he said, raising his voice enough that the closer onlookers could hear over the din of battle on the horizon. "All beings eventually pass from this life and return to the energy that unites us all. But the Jedi also know that our common destiny does not excuse a life unlived or a right path untaken.  We must embrace the challenges and struggles of this life fully, to leave a better galaxy for those who remain."

He looked at the crowd. "Perhaps some of you knew Saotu better than I did, and you certainly saw more of his work—his love for green and growing things, and his nurturing of life. As he was to his plants, so he was to his friends—patient, gentle, and kind.  To speak to him, to merely be in his presence, was to be reminded that all life is a gift."

Tirien looked at the shrouded bodies. "I barely knew Finja, and I didn't know Omiyan at all. But I know that they fell as Saotu did—as Jedi, confronting the Sith without fear…opposing the enemies of life.  They died with courage, and with compassion for the people of Taanab.  They model for those of us who remain what it is to be a Jedi."

He took up a torch from a stand at the chapter house's door, Narasi and the Iktotchi took theirs, and they stepped forward together to light the biers. Narasi set fire to Finja's; Tirien could sense her turmoil in the Force, but she kept her composure.

"There is no emotion," Tirien said, "there is peace."

"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge," Narasi added.

There is no passion, there is serenity, the Iktotchi projected into all their minds with her telepathy.

"There is no chaos, there is serenity," Tirien said, and then he and Narasi finished in unison, "There is no death, there is the Force."

They watched the flames spread over the bodies, and stood in silence, their faces shadowed by their robes and the firelight, as the smoke ascended into the night. When enough time had passed, Tirien led the way back into the chapter house. They parted ways with the Iktotchi in a stone corridor; she had remained stoic and straight for the ceremony, but Tirien could sense her wounds still pained her terribly. She left them with a bow and a silent farewell in their minds, leaving Tirien and Narasi alone in the dark courtyard.

It was no longer the peaceful oasis Tirien remembered. The Sith had defaced many of the carvings and hacked apart most of the plants on which Saotu, Finja, and Olik had labored for so many days. Tirien could sense the stain of the dark side where the Ho'Din and the Roonan had fallen.

Narasi sat down in the grass, laying her hands on the trunk of a toppled tree. She brushed the leaves; they did not react, but that alone seemed the last straw for Narasi, and she pulled her knees up to her chest, laying her face on her crossed arms.

Folding his robe over a bench, Tirien sat beside her. "They were good beings, Narasi. Good and kind.  It's right to mourn for them, but grief will swallow you if you let it."

She looked up, her blue eyes rimmed in red and hardened with anger. "Why did they do this? Saotu, Finja, the ch'hala tree…why?"

"Because evil always despises good," Tirien answered. "At some level they have to see their own corruption, and they want to destroy innocence because they can't stand to face the mirror. To be a Sith is to take a Trial of the Spirit every day, and every day to fail.  They unleash their failures on anyone they can harm; it's why they have to be destroyed."

Narasi gritted her teeth. "I'll destroy them," she promised. "I'll make them answer for this."

Tirien frowned. "Be careful, Narasi. We don't fight the Sith for vengeance, and we don't kill in anger.  Our war is with the dark side; we strive to eliminate the evil, not the people personally.  When it becomes personal, we become like them."

Shaking her head, Narasi asked, "Didn't you want revenge when the Sith Lord killed your master?"

Tirien stared at her. "How did you know that?"

Her eyes widened, but she adopted a look of resolution and pressed, "Didn't you?"

Tirien studied her in silence for a moment, but sensed the matter was critical for her. He remembered his charge from Tem-Fol-Rytil to train Narasi, and Elata Cazars telling him he had failed it. After a moment he sighed, reaching for memories further back. The stink of mold and decay in the air, the clash of lightsabers on a loading dock, and the fall of a Quarren Jedi Knight.

"I was angry for a moment," he finally told her. "I lost focus, and I wound up losing my lightsaber. I almost lost my sword hand, too.  It was only when I re-centered myself, and let go of the loss, that I defeated Zygro."

"Narasi, the first step onto the dark path isn't always hard," he said, remembering again the walker. "Sometimes it feels right, even instinctive, and it's easy to take. But every step further is easier than the last.  By the time you even think to look back, you won't even see where the paths diverged because the darkness is all around you.  That's why Jedi work so hard for discipline and control.  Not everyone who falls is beyond saving, but the only sure way to defeat the dark is to not take the first step."

He looked up at the columns of smoke, visible above the courtyard walls. Reaching out a hand to squeeze Narasi's shoulder, he said, "Honor their memory, Narasi, but let them go."

She sighed, and it seemed to Tirien she breathed out some of her anger. "It's just…I'm so tired of losing people I care about. Finja and Saotu, Rhosa and Master Shadeez, my…"

She stopped, and Tirien sensed her withdrawing into herself. Tirien considered pressing her, but opted to respect her privacy. Instead, he said, "I was sad for them too, Narasi. But they wouldn't want us to let grief make us into the same people who destroyed them."

Narasi nodded. "Yes, Master."

Tirien shifted to sit next to her, and she turned her head to face him, a faintly hopeful look in her eyes. Tirien was quiet for a long moment as well, forearms on his knees, thinking to himself. Eventually, though, he decided to speak. "When the Council first assigned you to be my Padawan—"

His comlink buzzed. Narasi's disappointment was almost palpable, but Tirien sighed and took the comlink from his belt. "Kal-Di."

"Tirien, if you're finished, we need you," Mali Darakhan said. "Sniper fire by the roba processing plant on 78th has a whole battalion pinned down, and the Sith troops are getting free run of the streets."

"We're on it," Tirien pledged, getting to his feet. He offered Narasi his hand, but she clambered to her feet on her own, wiping her eyes and pulling off her robe. "Ready?"

"Ready, Master."

"Keep focused," he advised. "It's not personal. We fight because we must."

She drew a deep breath and blew it out. "Got it. I won't let them down Master."

As they made their way out of the ruined chapter house and into the street, she added, "Or you."