The Fanon Menace/Season 1/Episode 2 script

Tatooine:

 The queen wishes to be taken with you.

 Jar Jar, you carry her.

 Who’s Jar Jar?

 Mesa here.

 How did you get here?

Well, mesa was walking along, and boom! mesa fall into a hole, and pow! mesa here.

 You keep your ship in a hole?

< Padmé>Hey, don’t make fun of us! Some people can’t afford hangars.

 QG, do you hear something?

< Padmé> Oh, never mind.

 Hey, don’t make fun of us! Some people can’t afford hangars.

 Oh. Sorry.

< Padmé> Thank you, Panaka.

 Hey, OW, can you hear something?

 Nope.


 *  *Padmé sighs* 


 *  *Darth Maul comes in, lightsaber ignited. QG duels Maul for about 5 seconds, then both stop and turn off their sabers.* 

 GQJ, the benevolent Jedi Master! How have you been?

 Darth Maul, childhood friend of QGJ, the benevolent Jedi Master! Good to see you again!


 *  *Beeping in background* 

Well, I have to be going. Sidious wants me to terrorize a couple farms around here before lunch.

 Good luck!


 *  *Exit Darth Maul* 


 *  *The party continues onward until Jar Jar clumsily runs into one of Watto’s speeders, knocking it off the ledge. Then Watto comes out and reprimands the bratty slave boy.* 

<Watto> Anakin Skywalker, the bratty young slave boy from here, why did you wreak my speeder?


 *  *QG literally jumps in.* 

<QG> I am sorry for your troubles, sir, but it wasn’t entirely his fault. See, my clumsy friend over there, Jar Jar Binks, soon to be keeper of Anakin Skywalker, the bratty young kid from right around here, accidentally walked into your speeder which knocked it off the ledge.

<Watto> Hmm...this is true. Fine, then.

<QG> Aren’t you going to ask us?

<Watto> Ask you what?


 *  *QG gestures towards Watto’s shop* 


 *  *Watto repeats gesture with confusion* 


 *  *The process repeats 3 times, each with greater emphasis on the shop each time* 

<Watto> Just come right out and say it!

<QG> Your shop! Aren’t you going to ask us in?

<Watto> My shop? This is my shop! What can I do for you?


 *  *Watto spreads his arm, revealing a broken R2 unit and Anakin.* 

<QG> Anyway...do you have a hyperdrive for a J-Type 327 Nubian?

<Watto> Yes...

< Padmé> What’s wrong with the hyperdrive?

<OW> Master, What’s wrong with the hyperdrive?

<Anakin> Will you marry me?

< Padmé> Well, that was random. But, shhh. Not yet. Next episode...maybe. If I feel up to the challenge.

<QG> It got broken somehow.


 *  *Watto flies back to the broken R2 unit and fetches a small handheld device, flies back to QG* 

<Watto> Here you go.

<QG> It’s a holoprojector...?

<Watto> So?

<QG> Thank you. How much will this cost?

<Watto> Oh, that…take it. As a matter of fact, take the boy too. Here, take this 20,000 Republic Ditares to cover the cost of the trip, too. And while you’re at it, have this broken R2 unit.

<QG>  *Waving hand*  Rpublic ditares are no good out here.

<Watto> What? Do you thing you’re some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?  *Mimics QG* 

<QG>  *In a trance* What do you think you’re some kind of Jedi waving your hand around like that?

<Watto> Hmm... *Waves hand*  You will take the boy, take the projector, but leave the money and the R2 unit.

<QG> I will take the projector, take the money and R2 unit, but leave the boy.

<Watto> No! Take the boy, take the projector, but leave the money and R2 unit!

<QG> I will take the projector, take the money and R2 unit, but leave the boy.

<Watto> Fine. Take them all, just get out of here.

<QG> I’m sure we can settle this matter with the Hutts.

<Watto> What matter?

<QG> Good point. Pleasure doing business with you, sir.

<Watto> Same here. I’m just glad to get that boy out of here.