The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 8 script

Tatooine -Leave Tatooine

 There she is: the Millennium Falcon.

 Wow.

 She’s…beautiful.

 Not really, she’s just a piece of junk. So anyway, where are you guys headed?

 Alderaan. Didn’t I say that back in the cantina?

 Yeah, but I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t changed your minds. I’ve had customers do that, you know…there was this time on Sonju V…

 Could we just get aboard? By the way, how fast does she go?

 She can make eight past lightspeed. We’ll be at Alderaan pretty quickly.

 As in, eight times the speed of light?

 No, the speed of light to the power of eight.

 Look, sir, stormtroopers.

 Now that’s the worst news I’ve heard all day…

 Goody, I like stormtroopers.


 * *Squad of stormtroopers enters*

 Stand back, I’ve got a lightsaber, and I know how to use it!

 You’re holding it backwards.

 No I’m not! What do you know about lightsabers? *activates lightsaber* Oh, wait, yes I am.

<TK-422> We heard you were leaving, and me and the boys just wanted to say thanks for the blue milk!

<Luke> Don’t mention it.

<TK-422> No, we really appreciate it.

<Luke> No, I mean literally don’t mention it. Please. I just found out that it was originally white…and before it was blue, it was green.

<TK-422> Hey, it’s still good. *stormtroopers exit*

<Han> Well, if we’re gonna beat the rush hour hyperspace traffic, we’re gonna have to leave now.

<Luke> Alright, I suppose we have to go. I just hope I don’t get spacesick from the thought of that…ugh…blue milk.

<Obi> Do we have to?

<Luke> It was your idea! And besides, they’ll kill her if we don’t!

<Obi> They’ll kill her? They can’t do that, she’s your sister!

<Luke> Really?

<Obi> Wow, Anakin’s really affecting me. Now I’m giving away plot details!

<Luke> Anakin?

<Obi> Vader. You know...the guy with the red lightsaber and really bad anthem.

<Luke> Well, are we going to sit around giving away the plot all day, or are we going to rescue…my sister. Wow, that sounds weird. I have a sister.

<Han> Don’t let it go to your head, kid. Women are a headache, especially royalty. Anyway, let’s go.

<Obi> Yes, let’s leave before I tell you…

<Han> Just shut up and get on the ship!