Thread:Sakaros/@comment-29301-20180903145046/@comment-104549-20200102010011

I finished Critical Points last night. Here are my thoughts:
 * Overall, there was no point at which I struggled to understand what was going on or what part of KotOR II we were talking about. I've only played it a couple times, so you did a good job sliding into the narrative.
 * You wrote the characters you included well, and true to the game. I was disappointed not to see HK-47, though, especially because his brutality and his lessons on killing Jedi might've been informative for Meetra's fall.
 * Why "Obsidian" for Revan's flagship? I don't think it's good or bad, I'm just curious.
 * When Meetra's testing out her lightsaber on the blba tree, the line "Upon inspecting the wound, she found that she’d gone deeper than she’d meant to, though not all the way through"—was that meant to be symbolic? If so, it was artfully done.  If not...accidental brilliance?
 * NB: Basing this on only one read. It occurred to me in the Dxun section that Meetra's progression from quasi-hero to villain was logical, but there didn't seem to be a concrete why.  If that was meant to be left to the reader to theorize, that's fine—it suits "Critical Points", plural, as in "her fall was death by a thousand cuts, not one shift"—but if there was supposed to be a point so critical that it became a tipping point, I missed that.
 * Visas calling Meetra "Master" (at least, before Malachor) struck me as odd because, in-game, she refers to Nihilus by that title until he's dead.
 * Of all styles, why Niman for Meetra?
 * I don't intend to nitpick grammar, but this one jumped out at me: The line "Only a few beings alive had any memory of the face that Revan had hidden from it."—I assume "it" is supposed to be the galaxy, based on context, but the antecedent isn't clear.
 * Returning to curious lightsaber combat style choices, why Juyo for Vrook Lamar? He's the restrained, conservative Jedi Consular, but you have him employing the most chaotic and violent style.
 * I could've sworn that, in Torchbearer, Vrook died in the Enclave, not outside, because Kaevee remembered hearing the fight, then going to discover his body. Did I misread or misremember that?
 * Meetra's duel with Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell was well-written and a great action scene, and a good climactic battle. I think you did a great job interpreting Meetra's power to absorb others' Force energy as an out-of-game thing.  That said...
 * Seeing visible light coming from the Jedi Masters while "feeding" on them rubbed me the wrong way—it seemed much more like a game mechanic than an in-universe thing. It would be kind of like, "Bob set the Force to healing his arm, and watched the wisps of foglike energy swirl around the limb while he heard a whuuuumm like a power cell recharging".
 * You did subtlety well in some parts, notably when you don't depict Meetra's clash with Kreia on Dantooine or her followup conversation with the crew, but then later have Atton reflecting on how Kreia killed the Jedi—obviously that's what she told her crew, but you didn't feel the need to beat the reader over the head with that, and I appreciated it.
 * Overall, I liked your depiction of Meetra, and I felt for her. She was a solid protagonist for this one.

Per our norm, if there's more you want me to analyze, just let me know.