The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 5 script

Tatooine -Obi’s house

Welcome to my humble abode.

 Thanks, but…who are you?

 I am Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, who can still do an amazing Jedi backflip.

 Great. I’ve never heard of you.

 Oh, of course. I’d forgotten that I’ve been a hermit for the last seventeen years. Anyway, I’m Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, who can still do an amazing Jedi backflip.

 You just said that. And I’ve still never heard of you.

 Oh, but I know you, Princess Leia Organa, who is sympathetic to stormtroopers.

 Uh…who’s Leia, and why is she sympathetic to stormtroopers? I’m Luke, not Leia.

 Oh, of course. I always get twins mixed up.

 Twins? I have a twin sister? Who’s a princess?

 I have something for you.

 You have something for me? Oh, goody, I like presents. You didn’t answer my question.


 * *Obi heads over to a box in the corner, purposely ignoring Luke*


 * *Obi opens the box and withdraws a smaller box.*

 Hooray. A box.

 Open the box.


 * *Luke opens the box, withdraws a baby krayt dragon*

 I always wanted my very own pet krayt dragon!

 Sorry, wrong box.


 * *Withdraws another lightsaber-shaped box*

<Obi> Here, it’s this one.


 * *Luke opens box and takes lightsaber*

<Luke> What is it?

<Obi> It’s your father’s lightsaber. He wanted you to have it.

<Luke> Really? Wow, this is special.

<Obi> Just kidding! It’s a lightsaber that I made for you that has absolutely no significance to it at all.

<Luke> Oh…

<R2-D2> *whistles*

<C-3PO> Artoo says he has an urgent message.


 * *Hologram of Leia appears, speaking binary*

<C-3PO> She says that she has been captured and was forced to eat the Death Star plans. She is scheduled for termination on the battle station in two hours.

<Obi> Where is this “Death Star” now?

<C-3PO> Alderaan. It’s on Alderaan.

<Obi> Let’s go.

<Luke> I need to go home to pack. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.

<Obi> Ok, we have time. We can stop by on the way to Mos Eisley.