Wasting the Day in Bedlam/4

Please note: These entries were transcribed from illegible handwriting and the bracketed words may or may not be correct.

First month. 8th (?) day, 28 ABY

I don’t want to take my meds, so I stopped. The doctor was [very] unhappy. I don’t want to take the pills. They [take] things out of my head and [replace] them with other things. Take my thoughts. Replace them. So I conform to their diagnosis.

My head [illegible] hurts. They called in the special response [team] and they extracted me from my cell. Stun shields. Bound my arms and legs. Called in [Dr.] Karastee to sedate me. They put me in a holding cell—the [Quiet] Room. Top-of-bed [restraints.] Then, when I was calm, Karastee injected my meds. I don’t want to take my meds. They do things to my head and they make me tired and I shake. They take things out of my head and put in new things.

On Circumtore, [during] the Oph Nar Dinnid * job, I realized things. They became clear to me. It will happen whether I allow it or not. The [hunt] for Solo happened badly. Fett destroyed 4-LOM. Fett destroyed 4-LOM. He destroyed 4-LOM and I could not fix him! I tried, but the memory banks were too fragmented. Fett destroyed 4-LOM.

Fett said that I wasn’t cut out for the bounty hunting trade. He used me as a patsy during the Solo hunt. A decoy. Made me say things to Bossk. Then I saw that Fett destroyed 4-LOM. I tried to destroy him. I tried to destroy Fett. Fett should be destroyed! Rotten lying cheating double-crossing pile of nerf [dung] should rot in the sarlacc, be eaten proper! Let the galaxy eat Fett.

[illegible] Just as the galaxy has eaten me. Fett was right. Just didn’t cut it. Now the doctor [illegible] has to force me to take my meds. I don’t want to take my meds. They inject them now. They pull my pants down and [inject] the meds. Strap me down in the [Quiet] Room and [illegible] talk about using shocks.

Please don’t use shocks on me. I will take my meds. Don’t [use] shocks on me. No shocks. [Please] listen to [me]. I don’t want shocks. Please listen to me. No shocks.

Meds [make] it [hard] to [write]. No [illegible] shocks. Please listen to me.

''*Please note: Oph Nar Dinnid was a Lyunesi comm handler who was accused of larceny and summarily executed by the Shell Hutts. The “job” that Zuckuss refers to was the mission that he had undertaken with several other bounty hunters to acquire Dinnid. —Dr. Gawynn Karastee''