Revenge of the Jedi/Part 53

Zaella could stand the inside of Inimă Eserzennae no more; the air of grief had thickened to a choking smog of misery. Vinton Kaivalt had not needed his brother's call after the Second Chance had limped back to Pelagon and Bernius had carried Gaeb's body inside while Raven fell into his twin sister's embrace and wept; indeed, Vinton and his family were there waiting. Kaelora had known—the moment Amaani had died, she had felt it from thousands of light-years away. Zaella had hidden herself in Tirien's shadow while Vinton raged and stormed at him and Raven; Tirien's only response was to push Narasi back when she made to defend him. Eventually, Dame Cyndobel and Cesylee had pulled him away, and when his wife wrapped her arms around his chest, Sir Vinton's rage broke like a fever and he cried too.

Only Kaelora had been silent, her grief beyond words. She was still sitting in the parlor, her head in her hands, when Zaella had slunk away.

Zaella wanted to say something to them over the next day, but what was there to say? She had not loved Gaeb, and though she had cared for him, she would never know whether his feelings had any depth, or if she had simply been the only attractive woman of age at Inimă Eserzennae who was not a blood relative. He had come to her rescue in Gasald's throne room, but perhaps that was just because he was a good Jedi. That much she knew for certain—whatever he might have done before they met, whatever she was or wasn't to him, Gaebrean Kaivalt had died a Jedi Knight.

Sleep eluded her, and she ate in the morning only because Bernius insisted. Consumed with his failure to protect Gaebrean despite everyone from Raven to Baron Kaivalt forgiving him, the droid had been quiet, speaking only to the baron and the members of the strike team. By midday Zaella had to get away from the Kaivalts; she felt like an interloper in the midst of their grief, and they had it in such abundance that there was no room left for hers. Only Raven and Renata had even offered her a kind word.

It gave her no pleasure that Kobold Baliss was dead, though she thought it should; she just felt a numb, sick hatred of herself and all the rest for trusting him and his faithless master. Apart from confirming that he had killed Kobold, Raven refused to discuss the details, and Zaella did not want to know.

She thought it was just aimless meandering drawing her into the woods until she heard the low sound of panpipes and pressed through the foliage to find Tirien with his back against a tree, Narasi reclining against his arm, her head on his shoulder; she had managed to triage and start Force-healing the burns from whatever Gasald had done, as well as her other wounds, but now she wore bacta patches on her face and over her right ear to accelerate the process. Gizmo the gizka sat in Narasi's lap, gumming one of her hands in a contented way while she petted him with the other. Harshee sat on a nearby stump, playing her pipes, and Jirdo lay on his back, staring at the canopy high above. Rubbing one arm, Zaella muttered, "Sorry. I can go…"

"No, it's…please stay," Narasi said, and Tirien gestured to the ground while Jirdo scooted over. Zaella took a seat a little apart from them, crossing her legs and putting her cheeks in her hands.

They all sat in the quiet, listening to the insects' song and Harshee's pipes, until Raven came through the brush and joined them. Raina was with him, though Renata was not; she stood behind her brother as he sat in the grass.

"Final battle tallies came in from Allanteen," Raven said to everyone and no one. "Nobody knew anyone else was coming to help us, so it was kind of chaotic, but it looks like the allied forces destroyed most of the picket craft and what adds up to a full line of battle before the Sith retreated."

"And our losses?" Tirien asked.

"Noteworthy," Raven admitted. "Master Z'dar lost a few ships, but once the tide turned he actually captured a few, so who knows how he balanced out; he didn't linger to compare notes. Master Bnodd drove the deepest, so his fleet took the heaviest losses.  But we have the shipyards, and the way to Milagro is clear."

"For now," Tirien said.

Narasi picked her head up a little. "Any sign of Gasald?"

"Mmnnrrawhee!" Gizmo croaked.

"No," Raven admitted; Tirien sighed, and he added, "If your plan with the tractor beams worked, even if she got to an escape pod, she might've gotten pulled right back into the Kiss of Death and killed."

"Perhaps," Tirien said, but Zaella wasn't sure even he believed it.

"Did somebody tell Lord Brascel's family?" Jirdo asked, then tacked on, "And Lady Wisté?"

"Our father's making the calls," Raina said. "He wanted to speak to Lady Sarmaddi, and Lord Natascha of House Cadriaan; they're the only ones who know so far what happened. Our father's the seniormost Jedi left in House Pelagia now, so he's going to be very busy."

Tirien ran the hand Narasi wasn't leaning against over his face and said, "I'm so sorry—"

"Stop," Raven said. "Just stop. I know you wanted to take all this on yourself, but you're only responsible for you.  You didn't force anybody to go—not even Narasi, as I understand it.  So stop.  If you want to be guilty about what you personally did, that's fine; I think we've all learned some things about ourselves we were happier not knowing.  But there's enough to go around."

"I loved my cousin," Raina added softly. "He was reckless, and maybe a little foolish, but he was no man's patsy; he did what he wanted, because he wanted to. You didn't force him to do anything.  You dishonor his sacrifice by taking away his choice."

Tirien flinched. "When Yan first proposed this…if I had opposed her then…"

"Then she'd have done something equally stupid, and probably be dead by now," Raina replied. "And if the Kiss of Death hadn't fallen—if the Sith had held Allanteen—who knows what the consequences would've been?"

Narasi blinked and raised her head. "Um…am I the only one who thinks it's a little surreal that you're basically arguing each other's points from a week ago?"

After a beat, Harshee let out a tired laugh. Jirdo joined her, then Raven, and it caught on through the group; even Tirien chuckled once. Zaella thought they needed it; in the midst of all the horrible and wrong, even that little bit of sentient connection and release made a difference.

Once the last echoes of laughter died, Harshee asked, "Any word from the High Council?"

The twins looked at each other before Raven said, "Nothing yet."

"Maybe they want to get their own house in order before they come after us," Zaella suggested; on the way back from Allanteen, Harshee had explained who Kussam Bnodd was, and even Zaella appreciated the significance of the Gand Jedi Master taking most of his war fleet to Tirien's aid.

"Another one to chalk up to…us," Tirien said, glancing at Raina.

"Master Bnodd made his decision too," Harshee said with a shrug.

"Will the Great Council want to see us?" asked Tirien.

Raina made a face. "Lady Wisté and the Brascels will be told what happened, and a few others, but apart from that…the details of what happened on the Kiss of Death won't be shared."

Zaella tensed and demanded flatly, "What?"

Narasi rocked off Tirien's arm, her eyes narrowed too, and Jirdo sat up. Gizmo hopped off Narasi's lap and croaked. Raina sighed. "What Lord Wisté and Sir Kobold did can't become public knowledge. They died during the mission; that's all anyone else will know."

"They sold us out," Narasi snarled.

"I know that—"

"Kobold murdered your cousin!" Zaella spat.

"I know!" For the first time since she had come to Pelagon a month before, Zaella saw Raina's control really crack. "Do you think I don't get it?! They were traitors, and they deserved the deaths Lord Brascel and Raven gave them—and even that was more generous than what my uncle would do with either of them, but even he agrees, it has to be this way."

"It's how House Pelagia works," Raven said in a monotone, staring at the ground. "All the noble houses take care of their dirty laundry…in-house, if you will, but House Pelagia has a reputation for honest and honorable dealings—"

"A reputation built on a lie," Jirdo observed. "Take it from me, that doesn't turn out well."

Raven put his head in his hands, and Raina squeezed his shoulder as she said, "We can't do anything to change it—not yet. We're not even titled nobility."

"We could," Harshee said. "We could tell everyone the truth."

Both the Kaivalts tensed, and Zaella despised their cowardice, but Tirien sighed. "If Lezascan and Kobold's treachery comes out, some beings might believe Sir Amaani was in on it, no matter how much we deny it. It might even be viewed as political opportunism by House Kaivalt."

Narasi stared at him. "Don't tell me you think this is a good idea, Master!"

"No. But I understand the political realities that underlie the concern.  We may just have dealt the Sith Empire a serious blow; we've completely shaken their entire campaign along the Corellian Run.  If we destabilize the Tapani sector now, all those gains may be for nothing."

"So you're just going to lie—"

"No," Tirien cut her off. "If asked, I will tell the truth. Which is why I think it's best we leave sooner rather than later."

Raven didn't seem offended. "When will you go?"

"I need to take Harshee back to her sectors, but I'll only be gone a week or so. Will you extend your hospitality to Narasi until I return?"

"Of course," Raven promised, but Narasi stared.

"Why can't I come with you?"

"I'd rather make this trip alone."

"But a week? It can't take that long to get to the Sujimis sector, can it?" When Tirien hesitated, Narasi narrowed her eyes. "Where else are you going?"

"Your insight serves you well." He sighed, and when he raised his eyes, Zaella shivered. "I'm going to Pantora. I owe it to Dorje Sokos to tell him his son is dead."

Narasi paled, but she firmed her jaw. "I'll go with you. I'll give you whatever space you need for meditation, but I should be there too.  I convinced him to take Ayson."

"This isn't about blame—"

"Please?"

Zaella didn't understand all the emotions that went through Tirien's eyes, though she thought she could guess some of them, but in the end he sighed. "All right."

He looked at Zaella and Jirdo. "Will you two be all right here in our absence?"

Jirdo nodded, and as much as Zaella didn't want her only two friends to leave her behind, she forced herself to nod too. Raina said, "They're our guests until you return."

"Well then, no time like the present," Harshee said, hanging her pipes from her belt and hopping down off her stump. "All my things are still aboard, unless you need anything…?"

"No," Tirien said. "I'll warm the ship."

He touched Jirdo and Zaella's shoulders on his way by, and Zaella felt reassurance in his touch, even if it was tinged with grief and soul-deep weariness. Harshee took Jirdo's shoulders and said something too low for Zaella to hear. As she passed by, the little Jedi tapped Zaella's chin with one knuckle. "Chin up, kid. You'll turn out okay."

Zaella forced a smile. Raven and Jirdo didn't seem in any hurry to leave the little clearing, but Narasi stopped beside her and asked, "Can I talk to you?"

Zaella had too many potential replies to choose one; in the end she just got up and followed. Carrying Gizmo under one arm, Narasi led her away from the others, but not along the same path Tirien and Harshee had taken, and as they got deeper into the forest, Zaella became more uncomfortable. They had not been alone since…since Zaella had tried to warn her about the dark side, she realized. When Narasi stopped, Zaella back up a couple meters and crossed her arms, waiting.

Narasi combed her claws back through her hair and blew out a breath. "You were right. You told me the truth and I didn't believe you, but you were so right…"

"I didn't realize how bad it would get," Zaella admitted. She wondered if she should apologize to Jirdo. "If I'd known, I would've told you sooner."

She shivered. She could not get the memory of Tirien's battle with Gasald out of her mind; only the sight of Kobold Baliss's lightsaber burning through Gaeb's back compared. Narasi saw her shudder, and her whole face crumbled. "Zae…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean those things I said…"

Zaella grimaced. "Yeah you did. You just didn't mean to say them."

Narasi closed her eyes. "That's not it. I…yeah, I've been feeling kinda…jealous.  I know Tirien trusts me, but it's like this whole last month he forgot I'm his Padawan, and you two were spending time together every day…and I know why, and I'm glad you're getting better!  It just hurt.  And then Gasald got in my head and twisted everything around…"

"…it's fine."

"No." Narasi shook her head. "No, it's not. I need to work through my issues; hopefully Tirien and I can do that while we're gone…"

"It'll be good for you two to have some time, just…you two," Zaella said.

Narasi hesitated. "Do you…want me to stay?"

Blinking, Zaella asked, "What? What about the Sokos guy?"

"I…yeah, I'd want to be there, but if you need me here…"

"For what?"

Narasi's eyes softened. "The Kaivalts are all trying to be there for each other, and that doesn't leave anybody to be there for you. Except Jirdo and Renata, I guess, but we both know how well that'd go."

Zaella laughed in spite of herself. "I'll be fine."

"I know you miss him."

Zaella bit back a harsh comment. "…yeah, I do."

"He was a decent guy, overall."

"He saved me."

"He saved both of us," Narasi said. "I'm really sorry, Zaella."

"…thanks. Me too."

Narasi set Gizmo down, walked over, and hugged her. Zaella had never seen her hug anyone except Tirien apart from a few wretched moments on Guudria, nor had anyone but Gaeb hugged Zaella since they arrived on Pelagon. Narasi didn't let go, though, and after a moment Zaella hugged her back and allowed herself to cry for a minute.

When she pulled back, she asked, "Would you really stay here?"

"Yeah, I would. Do you want me to?"

"No. But it means a lot that you would.  Safe travels."

When she had gone, Zaella meandered to the docks and sat by the seaside. Digging out her datapad, she started to sketch; at first she had no plan, but once the lines came together, she realized she was tracing Gaeb's face. She almost stopped, but forced herself to continue, wanting to get his likeness before the details faded in her memory. His corpse lay at rest in the manor, but she couldn't bear the thought of using it as a reference, even if she could have avoided the Kaivalts. She worked as the sun went down, trying to get the shading just right.

"It's beautiful."

She started, bumping tchun on the waveskimmer she had settled against; someday, she thought ruefully, her intense focus on art was going to get her worse than a headache. Looking back, she saw Raina Kaivalt standing over her.

"Uh…hi. I mean, thanks."

"May I join you?"

"…sure." Zaella scooted over. "Shouldn't you be with your family?"

"Yes, I should, and I'm going back to them soon. But Raven needed some time alone, and Renata's reading." When Zaella frowned, Raina asked, "Your thoughts are conflicted."

So much for the holes being all patched, Zaella thought. "When you took me to the super-secret shrine, you said something I've been thinking about…"

Raina lifted an eyebrow.

"You said that if you choose the dark side even once, it can…like, tarnish your entire life. Do you believe that?"

Raina's eyes tightened. "You're worried about yourself now?"

Zaella rolled her eyes. "I wasn't, but now I am, so thanks for that. No, I was…worried about Tirien."

Understanding softened Raina's whole face, and she lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry I underestimated you—and sorrier still that I made that same mistake a second time. As for Tirien…I don't know.  They told me what happened on the Kiss of Death, and…I don't know.  He'll have to find that out for himself."

"Do you think…we can help?" Zaella almost said 'I', but caught herself.

"The better question is whether Tirien Kal-Di will allow anyone to help. He's a powerful Jedi, Zaella; I suppose you know that even better than I do now.  But he's very proud.  Time will tell."

Zaella sat in thought for a moment, then asked, "Do you have a minute?"

Raina sat beside her. "What is it?"

"That Sith Lord who brought the lightsaber back—Kansa Rocca, was it? Would you…tell me more about him?"