An Assassin Droid's Memoir/Chapter 5

Chapter Four 386 BBY

Of all the places to start, I was back on Tatooine. Four hundred ten years ago, and his rival,, were each running what would have been a monopoly on contracts in the  if it was for the presence of the other. Of course, a brilliant assassin such as myself encountered no difficulty obtaining bounties from other entities. In this particular tale, I found work for an individual known as Crazy Jawa who happened to be headquartered in Jabba's palace.

Now, I was arriving at the palace in the middle of typical cloudless Tatooine day that would have fried the circuits of a lesser droid. There was a particular side door that I preferred to use that, around this time, always seemed to be guarded by an old red Twi'lek fellow by the name of Druss Mercusian or Jabba's long-horned Oxoorian slave, the obnoxious Ulrebbos Nyort from Jurl Three Fon. My arrival was hailed by an old model guard droid with audacity to ask for my identification, this time. My ion blaster pistol responded for me and the droid was out for a few hours. The door opened to a pair of the hairiest I had ever seen, overcome by laughter at the outrage of Jabba's then security chief Keelief Winnowsan. Ignoring the trio of meatbags, I walked past them and navigated my way through the dark passageways to the throne room.

Rounding one particular corner, I was intercepted by a tall redheaded woman. Her long fingers and large nose combined with a body temperature of thirty-eight standard degrees, too high for a Human, betrayed her as a Mazamoof. I have no doubt that even Humans would have mistaken her for a Human. After all, being informed never seems to be high on any sentient's priorities.


 * "Exactor," I was less than flattered that she thought she had any right to be in my way. "My name is Shaiunay. I have come from one who wishes to speak to you. I represent the one known as Crazy Jawa, who asks you to come to him right away."


 * "I have business to complete with the Hutt first," I brushed her aside and continued toward my destination, ignoring her objection that her master would not be kept waiting.

Entering the throne room, I encountered the usual diversity of creatures clamoring for Jabba's attention. Among the more generic species of Humans, Duros, Rodians, guards, a two-headed, a hairy Wookiee, and such, there was an infrared Yplook that, apart from its yellow eyes, was probably invisible to most of the beings in the room. A primitive Ditoggu was warily eyeing the droids in the room and when she noticed me she tightened her grip on her spear and snorted superstitiously. A was tremblingso violently before Jabba that his ponytail had broken free while the Hutt was speaking darkly. It was plain that this meatbag had limited time in the galaxy even before his doom was announced. Azmor Goamlith, a fat Human I would later assassinate on, stepped forward and beheaded the Weequay with three strikes from his vibroblade. The Hutt's majordomo, a green with yellow hair, directed two slaves to remove the corpse.

Gizo Legroa, some minor duke on Geonosis, started forward to address Jabba but I stepped out to catch the slug's attention first. He was still angry and he looked at me crossly. I concluded that I had saved the Geo bug from disfavor as Jabba's eyes narrowed to slits of irritation.


 * 


 * "Indeed he is," I assured him, activating holocam footage from a device in my hand. "You may find this entertaining."

The hologram showed a six-legged Bogo'bogh charging across the sands of, clacking his mandibles in terror. His yellow eye was fixed straight ahead while his tongue periodically flicked out of his mouth to test the air for threats. It pleased me to see how quickly appeared on the top of a bolder, scattering a herd of self-producing gizka. With one shot from my blaster rifle, I disabled the giant insectoid, leaving all but his first pair of legs paralyzed. He thrashed about in the sand for a moment and then recovered enough wit to drag himself forward another meter before he stopped, shaking uncontrollably.

Suddenly he was thrown into the air as a giant carnivorous worm, a, appeared from beneath the ground. It ripped off half of his three meter long body and retreated underground, leaving him screaming and writhing in the desert. Small, young sand burrowers appeared and began tearing chunks of him away like the piranhas of Trandoraba feasting on a Srauwile. After three standard minutes there was nothing remaining of Drobwon.


 * "Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!" Jabba's slow, some would say ominous, laughter filled the room. His dimwitted collection of meatbags desiring his favor quickly joined. 

The majordomo hurried to obey, directing a band of intoxicated musicians to begin a jam session while females of various species danced around the floor. Elika Sardozzle, the J'kothee chef, was having platters of food brought out, first to Jabba then the guests. Unxlok would find time to have my money in my account within the hour so I decided it was time to acknowledge the existence of Shaiunay. She was, at present, glaring at me with a set of cold blue eyes while completely ignoring the desperate attempts of a purple Zeltron spacer to gain her attention. It crossed my mind that her bleak and antisocial behavior was quite unusual for a Mazamoof but, since I had encountered discrepancies in numerous beings over the years, I frequently accepted the betrayal of stereotypes. she followed me as I made my way toward the exit and I was delighted when she shoved a bald Human with a large black mustache out of her way. We met at the stairs by the entrance to the room.


 * "He will see you now," she began walking away and obviously expected me to follow.

My curiosity compelled me to allow the brashness of the Mazamoof and I followed after her, hoping to meet this Crazy Jawa who believed he could call shots in Jabba's palace. She led me down into the lowest levels of the, passing several who completely ignored us. We finally reached a rusty door that I thought was old enough to predate the era when Tatooine was first sacred to the Hutts. It managed to stay on its hinges as Shaiunay pushed it open, although she disturbed a swarm of Tatooinian normal flies and, in hindight, probably one or two of the then undocumented Yeenx sandflies. We spent a few moments walking through a narrow tunnel that was dark enough that I had to adjust my visual sensors and then we entered a glowrod lit cavern full of junk. An ancient Czerka Corporation had somehow been fit into the cavern. Even i was befuddled as to how the navigated the behemoth into its resting place.


 * "Please wait for me here," Shaiunay demanded as we reached the sandcrawler's boarding ramp. She made her way inside and I spent my time observing the movements of the eleven Jawas outside. I also was aware that a rare humaniod, a, was spying on the activity from a hole in the ceiling. Among the scattered metal, the remains of vehicles and droids, I detected data activity that indicated the presence of camdroids or other types of spyware. Then a female Jawa arrived from inside the sandcrawler.


 *  she declared in her rapid language while providing a physical indication with her hand that beckoned me to enter the vehicle. I obliged her and headed up the ramp not wishing to waste extra time since and encrypted message from the Preposterous Circumstance arrived in my brain to inform me that an old acquaintance on Melthuland had expressed interest in obtaining my services. And I knew if I did not leave the planet within a reasonable amount of time I be obligated to accept any contract the Hutt would offer me.

Like the only other sandcrawler I had been inside, one belonging to a corporate crumb by the name of Jarren Ix Erbold, this one had corridors with sporadic paneling on the walls and ceiling while the floor was simply a grate that exposed a chaotic assembly of pipes and wires below. Although they were two wildly different models, the scene was familiar. The only difference a meatbag would have perceived would be the cargo. Erbold's had been full of ore mined from the depths of Ajampor whereas this one was full of junk equipment and bits and pieces of junk equipment. We entered a large bay that had junk piled in heaps to the top and I was reminded of how that as one goes further below two meters in the height of a sentient species they are more apt to find hoarders. Only a single path had been cleared on the floor to a workbench on the opposite end of the room.

A Jawa lacking the standard utility belt on its robe but sporting a holster with a miniblaster was giving orders to another Jawa that was tearing the wiring from inside a Semsron QRB3 Pod to Engine Cable. (I believe the Semsron QRB3 design was the inspiration for the later Feesku Bent Podracing Systems PPBPS Pod to Engine Cable). Guessing the one giving orders was Crazy Jawa, I marched forward before my petite female guide was able to order me ahead. Crazy Jawa observed me with a demeanor that lacked any of the usual curiosity of his kind and I began to suspect this whole affair was a circus.


 * "You are to kill a creature on Trimlost for me," he had his request translated through an unnecessary voicebox. "The beast is Ploosted Raborin, the supposed genius of the Sabrefellicom people. It is guarded by fifty Bogo'bogh and lives in a cave. You are to bring Shaiunay along. You must ensure her safe return. One million credits."


 * "Two million credits," I countered. "You're Mazamoof will not be along."


 * "This is the same offer I gave to the others before you."


 * "Success is more expensive," I knew of at least three bounty hunters who had gone after Raborin and died in the last few months. S'kgegn Bgora had left Tatooine in the company of a Jawa three months earlier and was found dead outside of Phoor Hwasoddi on Trimlost after questioning numerous individuals about the target. Then Krenx Vospuchro was heard boasting in Mos Groska that he would bring Raborin down. After leaving with a well armed Twi'lek woman, his ship was found empty and half-destroyed in the Trimlost system. Zokkes Benel's former partner, 46-CNTR8, a talented bounty hunter droid, went after the Sabrefellicomian with a mysterious Duros only to be found torn apart and memory-wiped in a junkyard. Over the previous two years, an excessive amount of other bounty hunters and assassins had turned up dead or dismantled around Trimlost and I told Crazy Jawa as much.


 * "I will allow you to do this for two million," the Jawa relented. "But you must bring Shaiunay with you and ensure her safe return or there will be no deal."

I was given a few moments to pretend to deliberate but, against my better calculations, I had already decided to accept. It was agreed that the Mazamoof would meet me at the Preposterous Circumstance. The ship and I had parked at a small farmstead that was once owned by the poet Eier Trilpoe and Shaiunay somehow managed to find us before I could accidentally leave her behind. She had donned some armor, although her headgear was. A blaster pistol was holstered on each of her hips and a long rifle was strapped across her back. I experienced a certain amount of irritation when she chose to join me in the cockpit. A lecture spilled out of her mouth and I had to restrain myself from screaming like a Wookiee losing a bet and ripping off one of her limbs.


 * "These Bogo'bogh native to Trimlost are far more dangerous than the one you managed to kill on Blenjeel," she nagged. "As for Ploosted Raborin that one may be from Sabrefellicom but it has killed millions on that distant and ancient place. It's very cold there and its people learned compassion from the ice. He... it will have no trouble eliminating a sentient seeming droid."


 * "My dear Mazamoof," I put on my most condescending voice. Her eyes narrowed and displayed a flash of anger that was powerful enough to remind me of the unusual demeanor of this specimen. "It seems you struggle to ascribe the same disregard for the sentience of this being of uncharted worlds as your master."


 * "If you're going to ignore me this monster will easily be able to destroy you," as she made her stern warning we blasted out of the atmosphere and I fully activated my visual sensors to better observe the stars behind her head. "Only I know Ploosted enough to get anyone in to take him down. Of all the people who were sent on its case only I survived. Got it?"


 * "Is that what the told Lutle the Frightening?" I decided to probe with the name of a bounty hunter who had been found dead on Trimlost after arriving from Tatooine paired with an unknown companion.


 * "I assure you I know nothing about that," her uneasiness would have spread to me faster than a Tachyccitus outbreak among teenagers if I were a sentient. Fortunately droids are immune to both. Of course she was lying, my dear reader! Your insight is as true as my reply to the young lady.


 * "And I assure you, sentient, that Raborin will die by me and every being who attempts to interfere will share the same fate."


 * "We want the same thing Exactor."

As we entered hyperspace I decided not to explain why she was incorrect in her reasoning. Even if she oversimplified each of our ambitions, which I have no doubt she did in her brain, she was simply wrong. I wanted two million credits. I wanted to see how and if a Jawa could even come up with two million credits. My assassination protocol had been fussier about being appeased ever since my forty-nine years as a scout. She on the other hand, doubtlessly only required closure for her meatbag sensibilities. Whether that closure was seeing the years she had spent studying her foe come to fruition or to demonstrate to herself that she could hate her enemy as strongly as her master or prove some other point as organics tend to do, I had yet to discern.

Now, the entirety of our time spent together on that journey through hyperspace passed in blessed silence. Before reaching the Trimlost system, we had to re-calibrate our route in the Z4-7B333LI Cloud, a move rendered unnecessary  by technological advances made twenty-seven years later. It was also required, as it still is today when leaving the to visit the Bogo'bogh, to stop and alter the course in the Yaggeel system. These disruptions totaled 2.47 standard minutes and we reached our destination in a timely fashion. A simple diplomatic code allowed me to bypass customs and we landed in Phoor Hwosaddi without interference. Unfortunately, my traveling companion was a meatbag and I was forced to escort her to an eatery so she could survive our journey.

To be continued..