The Fanon Menace: A Day in the Life of a Stormtrooper/Episode 3 script

Episode III: Lost in Translation Written by Joshua McGraw

Well, this is a fun job!

Better than the detention cell.

Yeah, it is, isn’t it!

I was being sarcastic.

*In background*I’m sure glad I installed these smuggling compartments.

You say something?

Nope. You?

Yeah, I asked you if you said something.

Nope. You?

Never mind.

*Enter Vader*

I want every inch of that ship searched.

Yes, sir.

*Exit Vader*

*Scanning crew boards Falcon. Clang heard*

Hey down there. Can you give us a hand with this?

*TK-421 and TK-422 board Falcon*

There’s no one here!

The scanner board’s still there.

*TK-421 accidentally trips over the scanner board and fires two shots, which bounce around the cabin*

Would you forget it? I already tried it; it’s magnetically sealed!

<TK-421>I know, I know...I’m gonna get us all killed. So where’d the crew go?

*Cut to outside the Falcon*

*Chewie seen dragging two gagged scanner crew members*

<Han>It’s a good thing I have these stormtrooper uniforms.

*Cuts to control room*

<Advisor>TK-421, why aren’t you at your post?

*Cuts back to Falcon interior*

<TK-421>I’m here. I was just investigating a disturbance aboard the starship.

*Cuts back to control room*

<Advisor>TK-421, do you copy?

*Cuts to Falcon exterior, where TK-421 exits*

<TK-421>I’m here already. What, are you deaf or just plain crazy?

*TK-421 taps his head to emphasize his point*

*Cuts back to control room*

<Advisor>Take over. We’ve got a bad transmitter. I’ll see what I can do.

*Cuts back to Falcon exterior*

<TK-421>I’m transmitting just fine! Leave me alone!

*TK-422 exits Falcon*

<TK-422>What’s going on?

<TK-421>Nothing. Just some idiot messing with the transmitters. I bet they put George back on duty...

<TK-422>In that case, we should probably check it out. I’ll go get Bob, you get Frank.

<TK-421>You mean Joe?

<TK-422>Yeah, that guy. Meet upstairs in ten minutes.