The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 1 script

Tantive IIVI -Princess Leia captured/droids escape


 * *TK-421 and TK-422 enter, followed by Darth Vader and four other stormtroopers*

 Ah, Princess Leia Organa, sympathetic to stormtroopers, I have you now! There is no escaping!

 My ship! You ruined my ship! You and your marauding band of those poor stormtroopers…

 You are coming with me.

 No! I’m not going! Not with you, Darth Vader, dum-dum-dum-da-dum-dum-da-dum-dum!

 It’s Darth Vader, *Imperial March tune*. It kind of has a tune.

 No offense, but that’s a pretty pathetic tune. Maybe it’s an acquired taste.

 It’s a great tune! *to stormtroopers* Shut her up.

 Yes, sir.


 * *fires stun bolt, completely missing Leia*

 Stupid helmets!

 Aww, the helmets are throwing their aim off. Why do they have to wear them, anyway?

 It’s the blasters! Just come with us.

 I’m not going!

 *motions to TK-421 and TK-422*


 * *troopers approach Leia*

 You can’t take me by force! My body can resist the efforts of your poor, helpless stormtroopers!

 This won’t hurt a bit.


 * *take off head as Leia shouts for them to stop*

 What should we do with the body?

<Darth Vader> Leave it. We’ve got what we need.

<Leia> Maybe I need it!


 * *start to leave*

<Leia> You’ll never guess where I hid the Death Star plans.

<Darth Vader> In the droid who’s breaking into the escape pod over there.

<Leia> Where? I can’t see!


 * *TK-421 turns around*

<Leia> Oh, that is him. *TK-421 turns to Vader* Wrong! That’s where I was going to hide them. I hid them somewhere else, since you so rudely interrupted me as I was about to hide them. How’d you know that was where I was going to put them?

<Darth Vader> I had to read the script to get the part, you know.


 * *exit all*