The Fanon Menace: A Day in the Life of a Stormtrooper/Episode 5 script

Episode V: Escape from the Cell Blocks Written by Joshua McGraw

*Arrive at a closed door*

Oh, great. How are we going to get into the detention cell blocks now? The door’s closed.

*Enter Obi-Wan*

Allow me.

*Obi-Wan cuts the door open with his lightsaber*

There you go.

Thanks!

*TK-421 walks in and trips on the lip as blasterfire sounds from up the corridors. His rifle accidentally discharges*

Charge!

Watch that first step; it’s a doozy.

*TK-422 trips on ledge, followed by Joe. Bob steps over and starts firing at the targets at the opposite end of the hall*

*TK-421 stands*

I warned you guys.

*TK-422 and Joe stand*

Hey, you’re pretty good with that thing.

You wanna know my secret?

Yes. That thing can’t hit anything for me.

I close my eyes when I shoot.

So you use the Force?

No, I just close my eyes and squeeze the trigger. Wait, what are they doing?

Looks like they’re going down the garbage chute.

That’s stupid.

Don’t they know it contracts?

<TK-422>Frank...I mean, Joe, go down after them.

<Joe>Ok.

*Joe disappears down chute*

<Joe>I’m stuck! Wait, it stopped squishing the garbage. Oh, it’s too late. I can hear their screams from here. No, wait, they’re ok! The droid stopped the compressor in time! Sounds like they opened the door. Wait, I’m getting myself free...there!

<TK-422>What do you see?

<Joe>Oh, no...It’s contracting again!

<TK-421>Let’s go down and get Frank.

<TK-422>You mean Joe?

<TK-421>Yeah, him.

<TK-422>Alright. How about we go down the easy way?

<TK-421>Easy way?

<TK-422>Yeah. There’s stairs right here.

*Opens cell door right next to the garbage chute*

<TK-422>Here we go. Follow me.