The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 28 script

Dagobah -arrive on planet/speak with Yoda/Luke talks to Ben and finds out Leia is his sister/leaves Dagobah

*X-wing lands smoothly*

 Well, that was definitely a better landing than the last time. Maybe it was a good idea to let you fly.

 *whistles*

 You know, last time. When you got eaten by a krayt dragon.

 *whistles*

 Yes, you did! You don’t remember the krayt dragon?

 *whistles*

 Well, of course it was a bad experience! You were about to be digested!

 *whistles*

 Amnesia? Don’t give me that. Just go. I hate swamps.

 *whistles*

 You like swamps? Why?

 *whistles*

 Because you can fly? What does flying have to do with swamps?

*R2 starts flying across, does a backflip, a krayt dragon eats him and spits him back on shore*

 Wow. Déjà vu.

*Luke jumps to shore*

 Yoda! I’m back!

 Hey, kid, how ya been?

<Luke> John! Long time no see. Do you know where Yoda is?

<Yoda> Turn around.

*Luke turns, Yoda Force jumps over his head and lands in front of him*

<Yoda> Returned, you have. Finish your training, you must.

<Luke> Ok. What do I have to do?

<Yoda> Move your X-wing, you must, before it sinks again.

<Luke> Ok. *starts using the Force to lift it*

<Yoda> Not like that. Too big, it is. Fly it.

<Luke> *sighs*

*Luke jumps into X-wing and flies it to land*

<Luke> Now what?

<Yoda> Now, the time is, for you to become a Jedi Knight.

<Luke> Really? What do I do?

<Yoda> *pulls out contract* Sign here, here, and here, and initial here, here, here, and here. Now I need your thumbprint here, and if you can prick your finger for a DNA sample, your application will be complete. Thank you for using Jedi Applications Express, and have a good day.

<Luke> *after he finishes* So that’s it? No ceremony?

<Yoda> Nearly forgot, did I, about the ceremony. One moment.

*Yoda disappears into his hut, comes back out wearing a suit jacket and holding a book*

<Yoda> Do you, Lucas Andromeda Skywalker, take the Jedi Order to be your lawfully appointed authority?

<Luke> I do.

<Yoda> Then I now pronounce you Jedi and Knight. You may ignite the lightsaber.

<Force Ghost Obi> Complete, your training is, Luke. Go now, you must, to duel Darth Vader.

<Luke> You again? What do you want? And why are you speaking funny?

<Force Ghost Obi > Tell you something, I must. And speaking funny, I am not. Like this, all masters speak when in the presence of the wise dyslexic one.

<Luke> Ok, fine. What is it that you have to tell me? You’re not giving away the plot again, are you?

< Force Ghost Obi> This time, supposed to, am I. Tell you, I must, that Leia is...

<Luke> My sister. You already gave away that little detail.

<Force Ghost Obi> Oh. Well, can’t you at least act surprised?

<Luke> No, I can’t. I was surprised the first time, and I’ve got to go.

<Yoda> Talking to yourself, you are? The first step into a larger world, you have taken.

<Luke> What? I’m not talking to myself. Ben is standing right here.

<Force Ghost Obi> I’m all in your head, Luke.

<Luke> Oh. That’s kinda creepy. So you’re all in my imagination?

<Force Ghost Obi> No, I’m literally inside your head, manipulating your senses so that you think that you’re having a conversation with me.

<Luke> Ok, now I’m officially freaked out. *turns to Yoda* Before I go, I have another question, about Force ghosts.

<Yoda> For one moment, wait. A conversation, I am having, with your first master, Obi-Wan.

<Luke> Uh...never mind. I guess you haven’t figured out how to get rid of him, either. I gotta go.

*exits*