Forum:Decreton Lords - Third Featured Article Review

Due to the creation of new and stricter Featured Article requirements, it is important that the Decreton Lords once again take the time to issue any complaints they have about the current Featured Articles and decide whether or not an article should remain as a Featured Article or become a Formerly Featured Article. Please be sure to sign everything you say, including complaints and whether or not you wish to revoke Featured Article status so we know exactly who is saying what. Please be sure to repeat complaints, as it is important that all Decreton Lords have their voices heard.

Also, please be aware that while there is no immediate rush to do this, it is important to get this done as soon as possible. However, no one wants any of the Decreton Lords to feel as if they’re pressured into reading dozens of articles immediately. While you can certainly take your time, just be sure to have your reviews done within the next two or three weeks. The articles to review are as follows, separated into the categories they fall into on the Featured Article main page. Also, for anyone reading this, please be aware that only Decreton Lords can participate.

Notice:' As of July 1st, an additional reviews section has been added.

Review Process

 * 1) The Decreton Lords will review each Featured Article up to date at this point extensively, giving tips on organization and spelling/grammar structure, as well as making complaints in compliance with the rules. Things not in the rules, such as "I don't like the color of the infobox" cannot be counted against the article, but things in accordance with all other policies (such as Manual of Style) will be valid.
 * 2) Unlike before, all articles under review will remain under review for the entire time, which is one month, instead of being revoked after being voted against enough times. That way, the writers of these articles have substantial time to address complaints and suggestions.
 * 3) In order to retain Featured Article status, the entirety of the Decreton Lords must agree that the article is fit for FA standards, as goes the same for revoking. If the Decreton Lords are unable to unanimously agree on either view point, then whichever side (Keep or Revoke) has the most by the end of the review will "win" (this is unlikely since Decreton Lords should all be judging by the rules, not by personal opinion)
 * 4) Lastly, once the review is over, each review will be archived in each articles' respective Decreton Lord page (such as DL:Narod Antrell) for archiving and historical purposes.

=Review=

Complaints

 * 1) Since I'm just reviewing content rather than mechanics (Vic's covering that), I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. It has all of the necessary requirements. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 19:20, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Per Brandon. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:48, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Per above. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 18:58, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the territorial desk of Atarumaster88
 * 5) *De-capitalize section titles appropriately.
 * 6) *1st paragraph of Legacy needs a POV check.
 * 7) *"The decisive confrontation came when Cos Jonathan Dashin, a young Republic Colonel, was placed in command of the Republic fleet." POV.
 * 8) *Kill the spoiler templates.
 * 9) *"Unfortunately, Devlen escaped, though the vast majority of his men were taken into custody. " POV.
 * 10) *"Had it been anyone else, the council would have never allowed the prospect of an assassination, though they could not in good conscience allow Viea to reign any longer." Prosetry.
 * 11) *"The conflict traced it’s origins to the " Fix this.
 * 12) *"the horrifying events" POV.
 * 13) *"breakthrough, but that was all thrown away when their son, Ussej Padric Bac II. fell in love with Al-Dubrir’s daughter, Tesiana Al-Dubrir." Fragment/extra period.
 * 14) *"Had it not been for the Great Territorial War and Ussej’s actions within it, he would not have been able to influence anyone as a Bendu Knight or as the Shaman of the Whills. " Reword, sort of prosetry.
 * 15) *"became an insane megalomaniac after easily disposing of the reigning Queen Talia" POV.
 * 16) *I believe that "Hex Canon" should consistently be "Hex Cannon". Canon doesn't go boom. Cannon go boom.
 * 17) *Pick between the Diamond Systems and the diamond systems. The former is better.
 * 18) *as he had erected massive defensives " Wording.
 * 19) *"He was able to rump his opponents " Wording
 * 20) *"The Shistavanens living on Uvena Prime" No s on Shistavanen.
 * 21) *Decide between Council and council in reference to the Jedi Council.
 * 22) *Consistently decapitalize Dark Side. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times.
 * 23) *"but rather simple Sith soldiers." POV.
 * ", and spoke about death rights and the returning the skulls of the EbonClaw that could be killed by the Republic in the future" This is very confusing. Clear up what's happening here, and is it death rites?
 * 1) *You can't corrupt someone with the Light Side. That's sort of contradictory, and at the very least needs reworded. Also, decap light side.
 * ", and spoke about death rights and the returning the skulls of the EbonClaw that could be killed by the Republic in the future" Wording.
 * 1) *"He was flanked by the great " POV.
 * 2) *"dangerous faction" POV.
 * 3) *Fix all of your "it's." I'm not fixing a half dozen more of those.
 * 4) *"a powerful space station" POV.
 * 5) *Decide between Sith Empire and empire. The former is preferred.
 * 6) *"Building after building exploded in an array of light, each one boosting the morale of the Republic troops and officers as they believed they were making a large stand against the Sith." Prosetry.
 * 7) *"They had no other choice but to come to the conclusion that, for whatever reason, the attack had been carried out using false information" POV.
 * 8) *"When the news came in that a respected Jedi Master had murdered upwards of ten thousand innocent civilians, " Prosetry/POV.
 * 9) *"and a deadly hand within the Corellian trade spine" POV, and check your capitalization.
 * 10) *"The Jedi were forced to witness the senseless killing of thousands of innocent civilians, unable to do anything to cure or help them." Prosetry/POV.
 * 11) *"principle of Mutually Assured Destruction, " De-cap
 * 12) *De-cap all instances of Military.
 * 13) *"Final Battles", not "Finale Battles"
 * 14) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:22, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) No (pending further review). - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 19:20, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:48, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 18:58, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments
I don't know if I can comment, but I'd just like to point out that there's a red link in the article. My page iChat What I've done 17:50, 4 May 2008 (UTC)


 * Fixed that. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 14:24, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) None. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  18:04, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * From the battered but persistent desk of Atarumaster88


 * "causing him to be the ridicule of other higher ranking soldiers and workers," Reword this.
 * "Adollu commandeered various members on the ground, while a pilot named Marto Nao-sin commandeered the starfighter defenses. " Commandeered is an unlikely word choice and I can't see a private taking command anyway, if that's what was intended.
 * "After the battle, both Adollu and Nao-sin were thanked for their exceptional victory." POV.
 * "Adollu's victory gained him popularity with women of all species, making him a proud man." I think you what objection I have to this.
 * "Adollu was forced to investigate further." Reword.
 * "which included stocking illegal weapons and making illegal shipments." Clarify.
 * "one of their top, personal bounty hunters." Reword.
 * "and Fuco made sure to be careful the next." Reword.
 * "Though, with the help of Wibl's men, he was able to fight off his enemies without even knowing it." Fragment.
 * "Bern was placed under secure captivity." Reword.
 * "Bern, however, remained strong throughout the entire time of captivity." Prosetry/weasel words.
 * "in order to get rid of it indefinitely." Unclear antecedent.
 * "Montra family assassinate Nao-sin. Just as Adollu rose up in retaliation, Dominic left the room, and Adollu was forced to fight against a bulk of guards and soldiers." Reword.
 * "In those few minutes, Bern realized that his extremely long and hard working investigation" POV.
 * "The often subjected himself to the will of others in order to gain information, which led many to believe he was weak, when in reality his will was very strong and he was difficult to break. " Reword.
 * "At first, his best ship was in the position to lead and inspire others towards victory," Clarify/reword.
 * Overall, not bad. These are minor revisions, but I would like them done before this hits main page if at all possible. Thanks. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:30, 13 July 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) No. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  18:04, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yesh, per above. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:21, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Yes. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:30, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Yes. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 16:07, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Affirmative, for the time being, per the above complaints. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 18:08, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints
2. I see nothing different from the last time I reviewed this, and I had no complaints back then. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 01:00, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * Image:Jonbac.JPG is not properly sourced. Take that, Baccie! - Solus (Bird of Prey)  19:05, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fixed. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 19:14, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Sure it is. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  19:21, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. Fix da image! - Solus (Bird of Prey)  19:02, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  19:21, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 01:00, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * All but one of the images are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  01:33, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From the scythe-wielding desk of Atarumaster88
 * 4) *A little more context (time, precursor events) on his fall to the dark side (intro)
 * 5) *'Forced to join their ranks " Whose ranks?
 * 6) *"before finally falling the Zexus son at an old age." Uh . . . reword?
 * 7) *" was born to late Council member" What Council? The Interplanetary Cafeteria Council?
 * 8) *"Ryan Vex was born into a life of luxury on his home planet of Nydest, because his family consisted of high ranking nobility." Wait a second&hellip;this contradicts the previous sentence, unless his parents are A) Not Jedi Council members, which what's implied, or B) Got off the Jedi Council and made a lot of money ala Dooku.
 * 9) *More context on these crusades, specifically who they were against. Space pirates killing thousands of Jedi? That's ridiculous on a scale of Darth-Tyleresque proportions.
 * 10) *"Though he was taken under Master Oyo's wing" Redundant wording.
 * 11) *"On multiple occasions he was forced to fight his Master with wooden swords, and he lost his first few matches with bad injuries and he didn't hit his Master once." Run-on, poor wording.
 * 12) *"He also was a very poor lightsaber wielder" POV.
 * 13) *"Ryan's progress was reviewed by the Jedi Council" Chronological timescale needed.
 * 14) *"However, it was a special type of lightsaber. A saberscythe." GAH! Prosetry/POV/fragment.
 * 15) *"However, they told him that though it was impressive" Impressive is redundant with previous sentence. Reword.
 * 16) *"Without a weapon, Ryan was forced to block the incoming lightsabers with the Force." What?!!! Okay, dodging is one thing. Blocking? If he was a high-powered Jedi Master who practically glowed with Force energy, sure, but you already said he has problems with using most Force powers.
 * 17) *"Alarmed that their 'leader' had been taken down, the other two though for a moment, and decided to take not only their own lives, but Ryan's as well." Awkward wording.
 * 18) *"However, as he approached his late teenage years" UA.
 * 19) *"Zexus was promoted to Master status, as the Council wished." More time context.
 * 20) *"Cilo himself was lucky enough to end up at the tomb of the infamous" POV in lucky and infamous
 * 21) *"He used his luck to make it past" Reword.
 * 22) *"Even if it wasn't that, he was still insanely powerful." Ugh, prosetry/POV. I'd cut this.
 * 23) *"Soon enough, his trick had appeared." Prosetry.
 * 24) *"The battle was swift and painful to watch." Painful to watch is POV.
 * 25) *Thousands of Sith on Bpfassh?? And Zexus and Ryan didn't sense that at all? Were they tied up to ysalamiri the whole way?
 * 26) *"'The two Jedi fought valiantly, however," POV
 * 27) *"however, there were over five hundred enemy Sith, " Is it over 500? Or "thousands"? Those aren't mutually exclusive, but that's awfully unclear.
 * 28) *"For he knew in his heart that he would probably never see his friend again." Fragment.
 * 29) *"Ryan, knowing he couldn't take down all those Sith by himself, or with any amount of Jedi." Fragment.
 * 30) *"They gave Ryan the task of rescuing Zexus and the rest of the Jedi trapped by the Sith." The Council sent one Jedi to battle 500 Sith? One rather weak Jedi? Did they OD on deathsticks or something? That's abominably short-sighted, even for them.
 * 31) *"He was forced to hunt down Jedi, kill innocent civilians, capture dark artifacts, study dark arts, and use powers inherited by evil." POV.
 * 32) *"the ultimate mechanical terror" POV, and the Sun Crusher dares to disagree.
 * 33) *A bit more detail on how Ryan wound up serving this mysterious Dark Lord usurper would be good.
 * 34) *Context on who the kriff Zack Fayne is would be good. If he's the mystery Sith, or whatever, it's unclear.
 * 35) *"Despite the constant pain and nagging, Ryan refused to listen to Atravir's words, and hated his voice, hated his torture, hated everything about him." Prosetry.
 * 36) *"And that was the only way he would escape his cell, Atravir made sure of it." Prosetry.
 * 37) *In general, lots of prosetry in Conversion. Whole bloody thing needs reworked. This is a major concern.
 * 38) *"He then rushed at him, Ryan barely jumping out of the way." Prosetry/awkward wording.
 * 39) *"fell with insane speed and almost cut through Ryan's back." POV/run-on.
 * 40) *"In an effort to end the fight quickly, he leaped for Ryan swung his blade in a counterclockwise circle," Wording.
 * 41) *WTF is a DRACOSTORM?
 * 42) *"as he wasn't as powerful as his Master, taking on and killing several Masters." Awkward wording.
 * 43) *Killing a Jedi Master with food poisoning from undercooked food in a galaxy with advanced medical science? Not. Possible.
 * 44) *"Clear that it wasn't a normal blaster wound, he had taken the medication to prevent it from getting more serious that it already was" Awkward wording.
 * 45) *"it was the perfect means to kill the Grand Master" POV.
 * 46) *" After the Jedi healer injected him with it one time" UA.
 * 47) *"decent sized army" POV.
 * 48) *" With so many of their former worlds being taken by the Sith, and their academies being converted into academies of evil. " POV/fragment.
 * 49) *"what was probably going to be the toughest battle of his life." POV as written.
 * 50) *"both were outdated, they were tough competitors." Poor wording.
 * 51) *"e trained night and day in the Force, with lightsabers, and in knowledge. " Vague wording.
 * 52) *"Though Ryan was much more skilled that the young Jedi Knight" POV as written.
 * 53) *"Ryan's affected and was affected many people both physically and emotionally." Wording.
 * 54) *"Zack Fayne proved to be a stern but wise master" POV.
 * 55) *"Many were either loyal to him, or were forced to out of fear." Awkward wording.
 * 56) *"Ryan's most prominent legacy fell on Zexus' son, Saexn Hanz" POV.
 * 57) *" And by then, it was too late." Prosetry.
 * 58) *"his attitude took its final turn for the worse. His aura was often that of death and darkness, and he had a cold and snide demeanor." POV/prosetry.
 * 59) *"Not the most pleasant person to be around," POV.
 * 60) *"infamous horrible skill with basic lightsabers" POV.
 * 61) *" utilized the lightsaber and the form to its fullest potential" POV.
 * 62) *"However, this event made him stronger, " POV.
 * 63) *"which he utilized to a proficient degree" POV.
 * 64) *"masking his presence, both he enjoyed doing, and considered them casual powers. " Comma splice? Awkward wording.
 * 65) *"It is noted that as he got older, his connection with the Force got stronger," Tense/OOU
 * 66) *"It is unknown whether or not Ryan was related to" Reword; it's POVish as is. If the author doesn't know, then say that. Otherwise, it's not appropriate for BtS on SWF. I would accept this on Wookieepedia. (BtS)
 * 67) *Check your section titles for capitalization/prosetry.
 * 68) *"It would eventually merge with the Hanz family," UA.
 * 69) *It would be nice if the images were staggered left-right.
 * 70) *After reading Zacky Fayne and this, I have to note that this is almost a cookie-cutter character. Not necessarily bad, but I'd like to note that he's essentially mini-me. Also, his "power levels" fluctuate throughout the article, lacking a consistency. Finally, the idea of ghosting is lame. But I won't object to it. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:01, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  01:33, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) * No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  01:38, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Affirmative. This article currently has a "major edit" template on it, and an article that is undergoing construction/reconstruction should not have FA Status until said construction/reconstruction efforts are completed and determined to be sufficient. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 19:51, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:40, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) No. - Brandon Rhea  <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 02:47, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Yes. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:04, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Yes. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 20:02, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) Besides the preferential lack of image staggering (right-left-right etc.), I don't see anything wrong with this article. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:22, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the bounty-hunting desk of Atarumaster88
 * 3) *"creating the perfect cover to visit their son" POV in perfect.
 * 4) *'It turned out that Skylkan was not the greatest father figure" POV.
 * 5) *"Life on J't'p'tan was hard for the boy" POV.
 * 6) *Consistently de-capitalize sabacc.
 * 7) *"the unfortunate boy and took him to her father." POV in unfortunate.
 * 8) *You can't slit someone open from hip to shoulder with a serious wound and then expect them to survive until they get offworld, unless it's a massive freaking paper cut. That's entirely contradictory to the basics of physiology.
 * 9) *"exciting career of bounty hunting" POV.
 * 10) *Italicize all class names of ships.
 * 11) *"making shrewd investments and becoming a powerful force in the economic world. " POV here.
 * 12) *"As well as a bounty hunter, Ryluk Shouja was a major businessman." Poor wording, reword this sentence so it's more clear.
 * 13) *"Parable became a highly successful weapons company" POV.
 * 14) *Pick between Hybar Mining and Hybar mining. The former is preferred.
 * 15) *"Netronica did much better than Hybar" POV as written.
 * 16) *"making shrewd decisions and sitting on the stocks until he needed money or they reached a point where the only place they could go was down" POV.
 * 17) *"The most profitable venture Ryluk made was his short-sell " POV.
 * 18) *The article is not laid out chronologically. It should tell his life story directly, instead of switching between his stock market playing and his bounty hunting. This is a major concern.
 * 19) *"His sharpened mind and lightning-quick reflexes served him well," POV.
 * 20) *"With the help of his natural ability, training, and equipment, Ryluk became a force to be reckoned with" Prosetry.
 * 21) *"Ryluk did very well for himself." POV.
 * 22) *"Many with prices on their heads trembled at the mere thought of Ryluk hunting them, because his reputation spoke of him as not only invincible, but infallible and infinitely cunning." Prosetry.
 * 23) *"Ryluk became accustomed to having things his own way. He became quite adept at bargaining and was very stubborn when discussing his decisions, traits that many found annoying but few pointed out for fear of angering the hunter. He remained solid in his decisions whether they were the easiest way to complete his objective or not, only changing his mind when he was proven wrong. This often got him into more trouble than the situation warranted, but his impressive skills always got him out. " POV, and it belongs in the P&T, not the biography.
 * 24) *There is no point in continuing to read this article until it is laid out properly. Write the article chronologically instead of topically; it is a character, not an organization. This is a major concern.
 * 25) *BtS should be much larger for a 60 KB article. This is a major concern.
 * 26) *Up to notable bounties. Fix those objections, and I will come back for more. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:27, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:22, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:41, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Yes. Has several major flaws. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:27, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Yes, based on Ataru's objections. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 19:26, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * Image:Morrer-tortured.jpg is not sourced properly.
 * 3) * Purely preference, but the images are not staggered right-left-right. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 5) *"Dark Jedi" over dark Jedi consistently, please.
 * 6) *"Si'va met his greatest rival" POV.
 * 7) *"Narod would become Si'va's greatest rival and worst enemy" POV and redundant.
 * 8) *"which were very powerful and realistic." POV.
 * 9) *"Si'va killed himself under the shame of ultimate defeat. " POV/prosetry.
 * 10) *"Si'va Morrer was taught how to live his life the harsh way. " Vague.
 * 11) *"Si'va was able to learn other valuable skills, such as survival and hand to hand combat" POV.
 * 12) *"Si'va was luckily able to return to his original home on Sluis Van." POV.
 * 13) *"Unfortunately, Si'va'" POV.
 * ", but the worst of the impacts on Sluis Van was economically," POV.
 * 1) *"dark side adept " This is capitalized too. Odd, I know, that dark side isn't capitalized, but Dark Jedi and Dark Side Adept are, but the latter two are proper organizations.
 * 2) *"both attacking with immense power" POV.
 * 3) *"however Si'va's acts of cowardice were disappointing." POV.
 * 4) *"He wanted the Inquisitor to get rid of the many bad habits he obtained" POV.
 * 5) *"Si'va remove his body clothing and kept only his pants and boots on. He later found an arm brace to put upon his injured arm" Tense, wording.
 * 6) *"known notoriously because of the many unusual disappearances that continuously occurred there." Awkward wording.
 * 7) *Context on Gno when first mentioned.
 * 8) *Fix all of your "it's" and "who's" to "its" and "whose" where appropriate. I already changed several of those.
 * 9) *"Finally, Si'va had obtained three worthy apprentices." Prosetry/tone.
 * 10) *"Si'va was on his way to truly becoming a master of the dark side, especially with his ability to create powerful and immense illusions." Prosetry.
 * 11) *"it was revealed that Gno Tyruhn was the most promising and powerful of the three pupils. " POV as worded.
 * 12) *"he became even more powerful and unstoppable" POV.
 * 13) *"were also powerful and had their own unique traits that impressed Si'va." POV in powerful.
 * 14) *"The first encounter that Si'va would have connected to Narod Antrell again would be on Tatooine." Awkward verbage.
 * 15) *"During the duel, Kynat took too much of a risk" POV.
 * 16) *"which was an easy target to hit." POV.
 * 17) *"Si'va personally tortured several poor citizens by throwing them out into the cold to suffer more than they already were" Prosetry.
 * 18) *Decapitalize Stormtrooper.
 * 19) *"d when Si'va's long and powerful stroke missed Narod," POV.
 * 20) *"Si'va was an angry, stubborn and depressed man all of his life." A bit of POV here as well.
 * 21) *"Si'va Morrer was a very talented man" POV.
 * 22) *"His illusions turned out to be both deadly and seem very real." Tense/POV. It'll help the overall quality if you limit your use of "very" in P&T and P&A as well.
 * 23) *"However, all of Morrer's talents would go to waste after he'd succumb to his depression and kill himself after losing the final duel against Narod Antrell. " POV.
 * 24) *The BtS is far too small for 49 KB. This is a major concern. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:50, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh, until the image is sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Tis done. --<font color="#9F05">Victor <font color="#AA00">(talk) 20:59, 1 July 2008 (UTC)


 * 1) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:09, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:44, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Yes, due to the POV and BtS issue. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:50, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the desk of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * A red link.
 * 3) * Image:UssejGeneric3.JPG, Image:UssejTakenAbackRendar.JPG, Image:BacWorking.JPG, and Image:UssejDamienLake.jpg are not sourced properly. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:50, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Both errors rectified. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 17:50, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * You forgot to vote, B-Rhea. :p - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:54, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:50, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:54, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 01:32, 20 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * Image:UssejPadricBacII.JPG, Image:UssejMeetsBara.JPG, Image:UssejComfort.JPG, Image:UssejContemplatesFuture.JPG, and Image:BacIICoverBoli.jpg are not sourced properly. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:57, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Images now sourced. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 17:51, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Not in a voting mood? - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:55, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  13:57, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:55, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I abstain for now, as the article is currently undergoing a rewrite. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 21:35, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) I vote negative. There is nothing wrong with this article now, and I have every confidence that that will not change, regardless of whether it's being rewritten or not. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:48, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *Almost all of the images are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:04, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) None of the images look improper to me. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:54, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:04, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 22:54, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * Image:Whill.JPG, Image:Yahweh.JPG, and Image:KristannaAdena.JPG are not properly sourced.- Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:34, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Fixed. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 16:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:34, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:19, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Negative. This one checks out. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 01:06, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *None of the images are sourced correctly. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * From a spoof of the desk of Atarumaster88


 * "The first episode remained the most viewed for the majority of the airing, until the tenth episode surpassed it gaining over 2,000 views. This was minor compared to some of the major videos uploaded onto YouTube, but was still a major marker in the start of the series as the creators knew they now had fans." Contradiction in the numbers and major/minor needs some variety.
 * "terrorization" is most certainly not a word.
 * Inconsistent tense in Part 2.
 * Consistently de-capitalize Clone Army unless you are referring to it as a proper noun. If so, that distinction should be clearer.
 * "Commlink" should be comlink. Multiple instances of this.
 * Clones should be decapitalized in all instances; it is not and will never be a proper noun unless the name of a ship, book, work of art, etc.
 * Decapitalize Smashball.
 * Song titles should be placed in quotes.
 * I hate trivia sections. That said, I can't find anything prohibiting them.
 * "who is sympathetic to kind people." Tense issues/POV.
 * "Jar Jar Binks, who fell into the hole where the Naboo keep their ships," Tense.
 * Clarify the bit where Binks boarded the ship. Was it on Naboo or Tatooine?
 * "the old one had been found mysteriously broken. They got a great deal for it;" POV.
 * The correct currency name is "dataries", unless you have a written script with a different spelling.
 * "She refuses, but stated that she might marry him in a later episode, if she felt up to the challenge. " Tense.
 * "reuniting herself with her body. " Reword, it's just her head.
 * Context needed on The Cleaner Guy and the droid assistant.
 * Contextify Gungans and Darth Maul.
 * Contextify Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on first mention.
 * Capitalize "the Force", esp. when used in terms of powers. E.g. "Force Push", not force push.
 * Pick a consistent capitalization for "amazing Jedi back flip". Either that or "Amazing Jedi Back Flip" is okay.
 * "risk of challenging Frank to a limbo contest." Who is this Frank?
 * "and Slave I. " Context?
 * "kindly placed Obi-Wan's homing beacon" POV.
 * Decapitalize "arena"
 * Not all of the "Clone" instances have been fixed.
 * "People from the entire galaxy that knew the two were at the wedding, a couple of them had no idea what was going on." Comma splice.
 * "Part III of Season I of The Fanon Menace follows" Tense.
 * "who seemed to be the only respectable, intelligent person around" POV.
 * "But she forgot what it was she was supposed to say." POV.
 * "being the Mastermind behind it all." Capitalization.
 * "But when he got to Master Windu, Mace wouldn’t hear it" Fragment.
 * "But Grievous suffered a near fatal asthma attack and fell down unconscious. " Fragment.
 * Here's a hint: Starting a short sentence with "But" is generally a fragment/comma splice/prosetry.
 * "battle where a small band of Clones turned on him. Master Windu entered with the Clone Turbo Tank" Capitalization, 2 errors.
 * "Master Windu asked the Clones if he could leave too" Capitalization.
 * Decide between Season I and Season 1 in the article.
 * I give this article an Epic Meh. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:21, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * In a gesture of unrequired magnanimity, I will hold off on removing this article's featured status until one week from today (that's September 12th), since some of these objections are fresh. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

Revoke Status?

 * 1) Yesh. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:25, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Yes.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:10, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * No, approved following revisions and review. Good work on the part of the authors, though I had to do a decent bit of it myself also. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:04, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Affirmative, per the above [not entirely addressed] complaints. For the record, however, "terrorization" actually is a word. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 01:39, 24 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *My Mozilla spellcheck needs a bigger dictionary. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed grammar/spelling problems. If there's anything else with the photos, let me know. --  Tesh  162  21:24, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *That should clear up most of the issues, but what is POV? --Ryluk Shouja(The Mukhabarat 19:09, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It stands for "point of view". It means that the article is written from a one-sided perspective rather than a neutral one. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 19:28, 6 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments

 * As far as I can tell, only the main image needs sourced. Since you fixed the other things, I halted the FAremove process, but get that fixed. I want an exact source there. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:06, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Additional Reviews
The following reviews were added after the above review began for a variety of reasons, including an out-of-date Featured Article list on the featured article page.

Complaints

 * 1) From a strictly FAR review, nothing wrong with this article. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  22:00, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) "Malum and Mortalis ended up in a duel against Eradix was killed and Malum injured. Malum was later healed by Mortalis." - This sentence doesn't sound right. It should be something like "in a duel against Eradix. The battle left Eradix killed and Malum injured".
 * 3) *"Cernos was shocked and scared, and soon regretted leaving institution" - This should be "regretted leaving the institution.
 * 4) *"This shocked Cernos." - This is just my opinion, but saying that he was "shocked" in a paragraph related to lightning sounds too much like a pun.
 * 5) *"allowed him to return to Coruscant to become a Jedi." - How can he return to a place he's never been to before?
 * 6) *"She told Cernos a quick, short story" - Use one or the other, not both short and quick.
 * 7) *"The head strong Cernos refused to" - This should be "headstrong".
 * 8) *"refused to put his friendship with Phanius, who he considered a "true mentor", just because his master did not approve." - Refused to put the friendship where?
 * 9) *Those are the only problems I see, and they're fairly minor. They shouldn't take long to rectify. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 02:11, 24 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **OK, all fixed. --Victortalk 18:53, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) From the swift but dark desk of Atarumaster88
 * 12) *"Although Cernos knew not the reasons why his father changed his mind, he was glad that he was pursuing a new, and more exciting life. " Comma, and a bit of POV at the end.
 * 13) *"hanius's ways were very erratic and unorthodox, which Tulama highly disagreed with" POV.
 * 14) *"though he continued to be his learner with respect, and with caution" Confusing wording.
 * 15) *"Cernos, also somewhat unsure, knew that Phanius had a powerful mindset and a strong determination for the Jedi, that was considered "dancing with the dark side." Poor structure here, bit of a comma splice.
 * 16) *"focusing his studies in the aggressive and powerful form. " POV.
 * 17) *"Just as the Sith were leaving the cavern, an unsuspecting event occurred" POV/wording.
 * 18) *"Darth Malum was, overall, insane" POV.
 * 19) *"This proved that Darth Malum craved power, domination, and a place in the New Sith Empire." Rather OOU.
 * 20) *"Darth Malum had a lot of power when he utilized the dark side. " POV.
 * 21) *Decide between Force bond and Force Bond. The former is preferred.
 * 22) *"He excelled in the basic universal Force powers, especially when using Force Speed." Expand this out some, and reword it. "basic universal Force powers" is rather game-mechanicy. A suggestion: "He displayed prowess in some of the fundamental powers taught to all Jedi Padawans, particularly Force Speed" or something like that.
 * 23) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:01, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

Revoke status?

 * 1) No. Am I done now? - Solus (Bird of Prey)  22:00, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *lol. --<font color="#9F05">Victor <font color="#AA00">(talk) 23:14, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Affirmative, per my complaints. They should be easy to fix, however, so I expect my vote to change before long. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 02:11, 24 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Negative. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 20:06, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Yes. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 19:27, 11 September 2008 (UTC)