CS:Battle of New Centrif

This is the archived review page for the successful featured article nomination of Battle of New Centrif.

Approve

 * 1) A well written article can only mean one thing: FA status.  Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 18:46, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I've given it a thorough read-through, and could find no problems that the others haven't spotted. Since those have since been fixed, I see no reason to not vote. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 17:47, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Per above. Short, so not much to gripe about.  Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  17:57, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) I'm not going to make a habit out of voting for my own articles, but because a) three other Seers have given it a thorough review and b) we need to significantly speed up the process of getting all of these FANs off the page and onto the Upcoming list, I am making an exception. Now I just need to sucker a bunch of members into voting for this, hehehe. - Brandon Rhea  (talk) (contribs) 18:43, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Da. --[[Image:Darth tom sig.png|100px]] (talk) (contributions) 19:54, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Per above. See no problems. --[[Image:Xepeyon.JPG|35px]] You Speak, I've Spoken 21:12, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Darth Wylind [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|25px]] ( Conference Room ) 02:50, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Brent Krajewski [[Image:Pylon.gif|27px]]  (The Forge)   (Gateway)  03:01, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 03:13, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Lavi (talk) 03:34, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) Here's what I could find:
 * 2) *Beginning shortly after the Trade Federation landed its forces on Utapau,...what is the Trade Federation and why was it invading? Context.
 * 3) *The Federation destroyed the communications array and went on to attack Ogana, where they captured Queen Arcadia. What is Ogana?
 * 4) *Following unsuccessful attempts at negotiation by Utapau’s Queen Sabé Arcadia and Jedi ambassadors Jard Dooku and Obi-Wan Kenobi, the latter of whom were sent by Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum in an attempt to end the Trade Federation blockade of Utapau that had begun one month earlier, the Trade Federation, under orders from Dark Jedi Master Maul who had been serving as the overall commander of the blockade, began their invasion of Utapau....run on. Split it.
 * 5) *All other officers had either been killed or fled the area, presumably to either escape or combat Federation forces that had made their way to other parts of the city. put a 'had' in front of 'fled the area', and 'presumably' might be borderline POV.
 * 6) *That's all for now. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  14:37, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **I fixed the first three objections. As for the fourth objection, a second "had" would be redundant since the "had" in front of "either been killed" still applies, and it's "presumably" because it was presumably within the chapter. Therefore, I do not believe POV applies. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 16:00, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Okay, good job. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  17:06, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *One more thing's occured to me: you should clarify why the people in the town didn't just send a message straight away when the droids turned up, or why they didn't just do the equailvent of a telephone call. I know you said something along the lines that the communications were weak, but a person who just skims through this article will probably find this a plot hole. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  19:47, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **As we figured out via IRC, there is no plot hole. You just misread a part. - Brandon Rhea  (talk) (contribs) 20:37, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) From Drewton's holocron:
 * Introduction
 * 1) *Link to "battle droid".
 * 2) *"Towards the end of the battle, Arruinada recorded a partial message to send to Queen Arcadia, although the mayor was killed before completing the transmission." "Although" doesn't seem to be the right word here. Perhaps something like: "Towards the end of the battle, Arruinada attempted to recorded a message to send to Queen Arcadia, but he was killed before completing the transmission."
 * Prelude
 * 1) *Link to "Jedi", "battle droid", and "Trade Federation".
 * The battle
 * 1) *"As the only one left in the area, the droids having killed everyone else nearby, Jacoma was about to be killed by a battle droid, although he used a grenade to destroy the droids." Like in the introduction, "although" doesn't seem to be the right word here.
 * That's all I could find. Good job. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 16:02, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Alright, all done. With the changing of "although" in the line about the mayor, I changed it to "but the mayor was killed". The mayor is a woman, not a man, and if I said "she was killed" then it could either imply the mayor or Queen Arcadia. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 17:39, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) JM76's Review:
 * Infobox
 * 1) * The battle numbers (military size, casualties) are neither concise nor detailed. Fix, por favor. N/A
 * Intro
 * 1) * "The purpose of the battle was to destroy the planet’s last remaining active communications array." Why is it the last remaining array? Were they destroyed? Did Time Warner cut off their landlines again? Context.
 * Legacy
 * 1) * "...one that had a noble purpose..." Noble is PoV, methinks.
 * Behind the scenes
 * 1) * What is Galactic Battlegrounds?
 * All in all, not to bad and a pretty decent, lunch-break size read. &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 03:06, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments
Waiting for objections. - Brandon Rhea (talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 05:10, 7 February 2009 (UTC)


 * Where's that promised review? ;) –<font color="#c00">Victor  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|15px]] ( talk page ) 05:52, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

Assuming you mean the Cos Decarte Palpatine one, I just posted it. It takes a very long time to review an article with that many objections. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 06:06, 9 February 2009 (UTC)


 * I didn't mean that one. I meant the one on this article in this here section. I can understand your Bacatine Palpatine review. –<font color="#c00">Victor  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|15px]] ( talk page ) 06:15, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

MPK didn't say he was going to do it today, because he told me he was going to be busy today. He said he'd have it by Tuesday. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 06:17, 9 February 2009 (UTC)