Thread:Sakaros/@comment-29301-20180903145046/@comment-29301-20180903213305

Guess what, I have a few points already. You know, I didn't realize the story would be as short as it is (perhaps I forget that not all writers have as much trouble with brevity as myself).

-You seem to do a pretty good job using different and obscure alien species from around the EU. Extra kudos for both of the heroes being non-human. The fact that Narasi's species is an issue deepens the sense of immersion as well, as it's not simply a matter of interchangeable appearances.

-I've liked Tirien since The Price of Knighthood, and I like Narasi here (why couldn't Ahsoka in the Clone Wars show have been this not-annoying?). Their basic dynamic and the way their personalities keep bouncing off each other is simple and well-executed.

-The ending feels a bit sudden, like I'm immediately supposed to jump into the next story, but that's a mere quibble. It's great how it ends on a bitter note; I'm always game for reading about people learning dramatic lessons the hard way. The blood and guts earlier in the fight was a nice touch, also. Shows how it takes a real Jedi like Tirien, not his green apprentice, to make a lightsaber the "elegant weapon for a more civilized age" that we all heard about.