Star Wars Fanon:Featured articles/Nominations

A Featured article is an article that represents the best that Star Wars Fanon has to offer. Out of articles on this wiki, less than one hundred are currently Featured Articles. Articles that no longer meet the criteria can be proposed for improvement or removal by the Decreton Lords. A Featured article is also an article that adheres to a certain standard of quality that is higher than the standard of quality for Good articles. In order to become a Featured article, an article must first be voted as a Star Wars Fanon Good article. It should be of a very detailed and of substantial length, long enough to promote every single detail about the subject, though short enough to where it does not become a hassle to read it or edit it.

For more information on what makes a featured article, see our Featured Article requirements.

Nomination
In order to be considered for Featured Article status, an article must reach Good Article status by being voted upon by the High Priests and the membership of Star Wars Fanon. Once an article has become a Good Article, the author of the article must nominate the article for Featured Article status on their own accord. The nominated template will also be added at the top of the Good Articles that are nominated.

Voting
The Decreton Lords, and they alone, will vote on each nomination. They will review by adding comments, critique, and feedback on the articles up for nomination. They will vote on whether or not the article is of Featured Article quality, and once at least four of the six Decreton Lords approve of the article, the article will become featured.

If for whatever reason the author(s) of a Featured Article nominee become(s) inactive and the objections of the Decreton Lords remain uncorrected, the article will be removed from the nominations list and moved to the list of rejected nominations. Once the author returns, they may re-nominate the article if they intend to correct the objections.

Approved articles
If an article is voted in by the Decreton Lords, it will be added to the list of featured articles, the upcoming article queue, and to the history of featured articles.

Current standings

 * Star Wars: Legion Commando (0/4)
 * Cilwelli (species) (2/4)
 * Merkory Chal'wala (1/4)
 * Tarvin Calaan (0/4)
 * Darth Abeonis (2/4)
 * Cos Decarte Palpatine (0/4)
 * Sela Kerroro (0/4)
 * Battle of Cul-Huq (Cruentusian War) (3/4)
 * Battle of Gand (2/4)
 * Force Exile Series (3/4)
 * Sarus (0/4)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) This isn't a complaint, per say, but I just don't know about this article. I'll check back later, after I can give full reasons behind whether I support this or not. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 19:58, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I don't know either. Too much of this is just a list. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]]  (Pressroom)  (Accomplishments)  20:57, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *I'll be beefing up the sections to make them less listy soon. Unit 8311 20:55, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Erm, just no. The introduction is awful, and tells very little about the story of the game, and is more like a comparison to the numerous canon games. Way too many lists, and what sections are written in paragraphs are far too short. In fact, the only section I see as being up to FA standards is "Gameplay", and that is in terms of length. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 00:05, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Had a fiddle with the intro, is it any better now? And if not, what would you see as a good intro? Unit 8311 16:32, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
 * What about the rest of it? Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 20:44, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *Only 11 non-date links.
 * 3) *No section on game development (FWR 5)
 * 4) *Purely preference, but images are not staggered right-left-right etc.
 * 5) *Almost all of the images are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:36, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the barebones and list-covered desk of Atarumaster88
 * 7) *Way too listy. This is a major concern, see above.
 * 8) *"The gameplay and feel is quite similar" POV unless supported by evidence. (intro)
 * 9) *Gameplay section is very weak. Limited or no description of interface, environment interaction, mission set up, campaign interaction, save points, locale, graphics rendering, or NPC involvement given. Nor are the stealth mechanics or visor options explained. This is a major concern.
 * 10) *"You will not get penalized if you do this. " Informal tone, reword.
 * 11) *For the record, the installment of Halo that you linked to does not feature re-charging health.
 * 12) *All uses of second person (you, your) must die.
 * 13) *All sorts of POV in the listy parts. I assume that when you re-write this, you will fix it. There's a difference between saying something is effective against armort and saying something is virtually unstoppable.
 * 14) *The characters section should absolutely not be a list. This a major concern.
 * 15) *Italicize class names. (Sentinel, e.g.)
 * 16) *Unless these levels are supposed to take 20 minutes to beat each, then the Levels section will need reworked. Rule 3.2 and 3.3. Lots of short paragraphs.
 * 17) *"Once he arrives at the vault, you are to cover Legion droids packing up the money there from various waves of attackers, starting with various low-level thugs to eventually Imperial militia to stormtroopers. The player must mix melee attacks with firearms, are there is almost no spare ammo available in the level. If you can find time, you can locate batteries scattered across the vault to activate auto-turrets to help you." Second person, wording issues in next-to-last sentence.
 * 18) *How does a Defiler hop onto multiple speeder bikes at once?
 * 19) *"beside the Defiler and swipes at him" Reword.
 * 20) *"There are powerful enemies around almost every corner and overwhelming amounts of them too." POV.
 * 21) *"the number of enemies the player must face doubles, but with Jandek helping you, this is not as difficult." Second person.
 * 22) *Multiplayer section is quite small and listy. This is a major concern.
 * 23) *Per above, a development section is needed. This is a major concern.
 * 24) *Skimpy BtS needs more, much more content. This is a major concern.
 * 25) *I'm so glad this won't be hitting stores any time soon, but at the same time, it's not hitting the FA list any time soon in its current iteration; it's far from complete and lacking in quality. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:32, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) **I have addressed a portion of your demands, my master, but recognising the volume of them and the limitations of thou servant's time, I will regrettably have to sort the rest at a later time. I hope that thou will forgive me for this. Unit 8311 18:22, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Well done. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 17:56, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:48, 8 July 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) * Almost all of the images are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:44, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed.
 * 1) From the three-eyed desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "nearly 30,000 thousand" Reword unless you mean 30 million.
 * 3) * "their infamous third eye" Infamous is POV.
 * 4) * "However, it is likely that there was some biological reason for their limited life spans." Tense.
 * 5) * "But another war would bring another dictatorship to Cilwelli." Fragment.
 * 6) * "They severally oppressed the Ciwellians" Reword and watch the POV.</s.
 * 7) *I'd prefer you not use "extremely powerful", it's a bit POV when stated explicitly.
 * 8) * You repeat a paragraph on the Crex. Please remove one of them.
 * 9) * I'd strongly recommend you de-list the Clans section and just make minor alterations. Bold the clan name if you wish, but don't list.
 * 10) *"creatures soon ran ramped, killing Cilwellians and slaughtering herbs" Wording.
 * 11) **Fixed one, but what about "ramped"?
 * 12) * "Cilwelli families were composed of many children." Might want to reword this so it includes some adults.
 * 13) * "Their offspring possessed remarkable features" Remarkable is POV.
 * 14) * "Many villagers were slaying by the " Reword.
 * 15) * "Wejji began a regime of cruelty and hatred." Some POVishness here.
 * 16) *First and second paragraphs of Contact with the outside needs more syntax variety.
 * 17) **The sentence lengths/structured have not been altered.
 * 18) *"Because of this, little is known about Cilwelli's development during this time period." Tense/OOU.
 * 19) *"and soon Cu left he was ready to attack. The first attack" Reword this; awkward verbage and "attack" needs varied up.
 * 20) * "But Zolu was outsmarted." Try not to use "But" in the beginning of a short sentence. It usually results in a fragment, or at least awkward sentence. Reword.
 * 21) * "They raided Republic outposts in the Mid and Outer Rim. They became such a nuisance that the Republic decided to attack the planet. " The fact that you start two back-to-back sentences with the same subject is something that should be altered for variety and readability. Do this throughout the article please.
 * 22) * "Though the well trained Republic navy was able to bring down on the Cilwelli ships, the CIS claimed the victory." Wording.
 * 23) * "This was the first morale boost for the Cilwelli since the Mandalorian Wars." The first morale boost? I think it might be better to say "military morale boost" or "significant military victory" or something, because otherwise, it makes it sound like they were depressed for centuries . . . yeah. It's your article, though.
 * 24) * "However, the war was far from over. The Republic was still on Hustia. Muggera knew that Cilwelli would not be safe until the clonetroopers were driven out." Combined with the next two, five relatively simple sentences back to back. Vary up the syntax, use some longer sentences.
 * 25) * "Therefore Cilwelli fell to Imperial hands." Prosetry. Reword.
 * 26) * " Delijiti were forced to lay" Forced to lay what? Eggs?
 * 27) * "But the actual fighting would have to be done by the Cilwelli." Stilted wording.
 * 28) *"only to return against before fleeing." Reword.
 * 29) * "people were dying, with a fight" Missing something here.
 * 30) *Did the Vong use a virus or bacteria? It's not clear.
 * 31) *"No sooner had Cilwelli began to recover from the epidemic, when the Yuuzhan Vong invade the planet." Tense.
 * 32) * Decide between "senate" and "Senate"
 * 33) *BtS could stand with some fleshing out. For example, I recognized your use of Roman lictors for the Crex. That could use a mention. Also, some of the ceremonies and caste systems seemed vaguely Hindu in origin. The religions should be fleshed out. At any rate, it'd be good to describe your influences, and preferably without bullets. Paragraph format always preferred. This is a major concern.
 * 34) **Check your spelling in the new BtS notes.
 * 35) *"The clones, who had suspected Muggera's next move, were fell fortified" Reword.
 * 36) *These are largely small objections, but you really should have caught most of these yourself. Next time you submit a Featured Article Nomination, please read it line-by-line to look for types of things like tense, fragments, missing words, etc.; I had to fix a large number of minor things in addition to this. Copyediting is an essential part of the process, and ideally, I shouldn't be the one doing it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:17, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Everything's been sorted out.
 * Not quite. Be a little more thorough, and I'll be happy to approve this. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:57, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * How about now?

Comments

 * It is a great species! RHR fails to dissapoint. And I know im using NKSCF line. Sorry but it does. --  Arav the Undersith ( Talk Page ). 06:21, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Good job. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 18:03, 9 March 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) It's a good article, with promise, but I don't think it's FA material quite yet. There are a few things that can be done to make the article better. Here's a list of the most obvious things:
 * 2) *Remove the bullet points from the infobox; they're not needed.
 * 3) *In the infobox, add to the "Personal information" section, or hide it (insert hidep=yes).
 * 4) *Expand, or merge as appropriate, all sections with the possible exception of The Brotherhood of Darkness.
 * 5) *Expand Legacy, Personality and traits and Talents and abilities.
 * 6) *Put a bullet point in the BtS section, or remove it completely.
 * 7) *Fix the categorization.
 * 8) *Fix punctuation in the introduction.
 * 9) *Thats all I can find for the time being. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 22:17, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Done and done [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] My page iChat What I've done 20:05, 25 March 2008 (UTC) 08:51, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 12) *Dangerously near Mary Sue.
 * 13) * None of the images are properly sourced. Solus  (Bird of Prey)  20:48, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Fixed the images, but I disagree with the first one. How do you believe it's a Mary Sue, and how do you believe I could rectify this? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 16:46, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Um...let's see how I can explain this.
 * 16) ***#Respect from a well-known canon character has potential for Mary Sue, unless handled right. Love from a well-known canon character automatically adds a whole lot of Mary Sue points - there are next to no exceptions of that rule of thumb.
 * 17) ***#Visiting well-known planets has potential for Mary Sue. Visiting a well-known planet that no one is supposed to have visited, that almost no one knows about, and doing something important there adds loads of MS points.
 * 18) ***#Having an army has potential for Mary Sue. Suddenly getting an army adds many MS points. Suddenly getting an army that can challenge a well-known government is an automatic MS point jackpot.
 * 19) ***#There are several other minor things, but that's the major stuff. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:58, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ***#* I see. How would you propose I change this without actually screwing up the storyline and would you believe it to be too MS for the other DL's to support? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 17:02, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ***#**I don't know, on either count. For the first, either somewhat of a rewrite or scrappage is in order, but I don't suggest the latter, the article has potential. As for the other DLs, how about you ask them? I can't speak for them all. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:05, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ***#***I see. I'll wait to see what the other DL's think first. [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 17:11, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) I agree with Solus on what he's currently said about Mary Sue characteristics. This is my opposition until I read through this article again to see if it's up to standards in other regards. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 16:44, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) **I see. May I point out, however, that someone has to lead an army and there does have to be a leader? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 09:18, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) Expand personality/traits and make a talents section. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 17:05, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Per NK. Also, The Tarsik Campaign could either use expansion or the huge paragraph could be broken up. That's just me looking at visually, as I'll do a more in depth review of the entire article later. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]]  (Pressroom)  (Accomplishments)  17:07, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *I expanded the personality and traits as well as created a Talents section, however I'm not sure how to break up the Tarsik Campaign paragraph. Keep in mind I'll get around to creating a seperate article for the Tarsik Campaign, so if it seems to not have enough info, it's because I only put in what specificly involves Tarvin. Tarvin Calaan 21:12, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 5) *Dangerously close to Mary Sue.
 * 6) *Only 5 non-date links.
 * 7) *Almost all of the images are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:52, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) From the insubordinate desk of Atarumaster88
 * 9) *"Karen who was only nineteen years old at the time knew she didn't have the ability to adequately care for Tarvin and as a result made what she would later say to be the most difficult decision of her life; to put her son up for adoption." Run-on, missing a word.
 * 10) *"Organa, who pitied the young women, agreed to help." How many women was he talking to? Wasn't it just one?
 * 11) *"by scoring two kills one of which got an enemy fighter of the Commanders tail" Clarify, watch your possessives on Commander.
 * 12) *"Tarvin flew brilliantly" POV.
 * 13) *"Fortunately, Wedge's astromech droid was able" POV.
 * 14) *"Though the two tail fighters were lost, Tarvin and Kael were able to escape moments before" What is a tail fighter?
 * 15) *"Fortunately, after already" POV. You were fine with this earlier when you said "Fortunately for X character", but saying fortunately explicitly is POV.
 * 16) *"Fortunately, Tarvin had" POV. I'll flag this every time.
 * 17) *" With extreme precision," POV/prosetry.
 * 18) *"Unfortunately, he was unaware" POV.
 * 19) *"stories of the extragalactic invaders called the Yuuzhan Vong. In his mind, there couldn't be anything worse than the Empire. As the stories of atrocities became more frequent and horrific however, he came to realize that he could have been wrong and prepared himself for a return to action. After the disaster at Dantooine," POV/Prosetry. Reword this a little, especially "disaster"
 * 20) *"With incredible piloting skill," POV.
 * 21) *"Fortunately, his father's " POV.
 * 22) *In your intro, you talk about the relationship he had with the Jedi, but that's never really discussed in the Bio.
 * 23) *" This is not surprising, considering he had a Clone Wars veteran fighter pilot as a father." Tense.
 * 24) *"Though their friendship never turned romantic through their teenage years, even then their friend Dirrax and both of their parents knew that the two were meant for each other." Fragment.
 * 25) *Italicize names of movies in BTS.
 * 26) *I got a borderline Mary Sue when I ran my test, but since repeated samplings have shown that some revisions need to be made to that test, I'm not going to vote for this until some of the Sueishness is cleared up. Here are some suggestions to do so. Pick at least two:
 * 27) **In your P&T, add more on his emotional difficulties in relating to his kids, adjusting to civilian life, etc.
 * 28) **In History, at least one instance of his insubordination should be punished. If there is one, add another.
 * 29) **In your Talents, cut down on his kill count. And definitely clarify the 2nd-best pilot thing. Can I just point out Luke, Corran Horn, Jaina Solo, Mara Jade, etc.?
 * 30) **In the History section, add at least one battle or encounter with another character that shows his cockiness getting him in trouble. And he can't get out of it by being cocky.
 * 31) **Cut the capital ship nonsense, or at least clarify it. If you remotely care about canon, and it seems you do, I don't care what WEG, Battlefront II, or Empire at Wars says, one X-wing cannot destroy a Star Destroyer. One X-wing cannot destroy a Carrack-class cruiser. It could destroy a CR90, but that's about it. One X-wing XJ squadron, if composed entirely of skilled pilots, could maybe take out a Victory-class Star Destroyer.
 * 32) *Copyediting on this wasn't that bad; this was fairly clean aside from that Fortunately issue. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:56, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments
I really don't mean to be a nag here, i know u guys are reading other articles but it's been more than two months since i've gotten any feedback on how to make this article better. I've made a few changes that u recommended so any further advice would be much appreciated.Tarvin Calaan 23:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Much awaited. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 17:15, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I re-wrote this to FA standards, so yes. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 20:33, 16 March 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *Very Mary Sue-esque.
 * 3) * image:Taris-eaw.jpg, Image:YVCapture Beast.jpg, Image:250px-VongAftermathOnDuro.jpg, Image:Suddenrestoration.png, Image:800px-TUF2 cover Japm.jpg, Image:Starwarsgalaxy-Sith Empire.JPG, Image:321px-AntaresDraco(b).jpg, and Image:DAOssus.jpg are incorrectly sourced. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:59, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **All images have been sourced correctly. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 11:44, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 6) *"but maintain a fair and just rule;" POV, tense. (Intro)
 * 7) *"Jasca grew up learning the tales of Jedi long dead, and the troubles they both caused and cured; and would play Jedi as a young child, making believe with his friends." stilted wording.
 * 8) *I'm not fixing every instance of "the Black Sun." It's "Black Sun".
 * 9) *"be held back with petty training " POV.
 * 10) *Extremist is POV.
 * 11) *"cortosis-empowered melee warriors" Reword.
 * 12) *Context on the point of cortosis. Yes, I know what it is, but let's add some explanation for the benefit of the readers.
 * 13) *Context needed on Reglia and whole Battle of Helska 4/Yuuzhan Vong invasion in general. You can't assume everyone knows what that stuff is.
 * 14) *the war had only progressed for the worse." Wording/POV.
 * 15) *" Lacking the controls of his fighter," Reword.
 * 16) *"thus, promoted of General." Reword.
 * 17) *"They fought valiantly but it soon became apparent they could not hold out. In a heroic manner," POV.
 * 18) *"However, the troubles were not over yet" Clarify this wording.
 * 19) *"For the next year Ducato led many brave rear-guard actions" I'd change the first preposition, but brave is POV.
 * 20) *"Where the he fought with the New Republic task force (under the command of Ducato’s friend, General Garm Bel Iblis) destroyed the Yuuzhan Vong fleet." Wording.
 * 21) *"it became apparent that one more major defeat could destroy the remnants of the New Republic." POVish.
 * 22) *Context needed on Kre'fey. (Ebaq 9)
 * 23) *Canon says to de-capitalise voxyn.
 * 24) *"for his inability to attack, and lead to Ducato developing the first few step" Awkward wording; could be split into 2 sentences.
 * 25) *"Ducato exemplified himself and his new found skills and tenacity by destroying many Yuuzhan Vong fighters himself" POV.
 * 26) *" fleet finally arrived, the found the battle had already begun. " Wording.
 * 27) *"brutally exterminating what " POV.
 * 28) *" celebrations, and made his way to Skywalker's location. " And where is that?
 * 29) *Nas Choka is not and never was a Warlord, if you are about canon at all. He was either Supreme Commander or Warmaster.
 * 30) *Context needed on The Swarm War. You can't assume everyone has as much knowledge of the EU as you do.
 * 31) *Context on Pellaeon needed.
 * 32) *Flesh out "Darth Adsec" more. Same with the whole first fall to the dark side. It's very sloppily done and anecdotal. This is a major concern.
 * 33) *"Incapacitated by resistant, the Jedi were" Wording.
 * 34) *Lists in P&A are unencyclopediac. Turn them into paragraphs. This is a major concern.
 * 35) *No BtS at all? WTF. This is a major concern and must be addressed for the article to even be close to FA standards.
 * 36) *I just ran this on my Mary Sue test and got a 28&mdash;clear Mary Sue. There's hardly any chance that I could be this off with the test, given the number of "calibrations" that were run on it. As such, MS;MD.
 * 37) *I'm pretty much stopping here until these are addressed. This is a sloppy nomination and I don't think the author took the time he should have to copyedit this before submitting it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:21, 21 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments
It's not a disapprove, but when the hell is this going to be passed? Obi Maul12 (Meet a Warrior) (talk to me) 17:35, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * First, chill out since this really has nothing to do with you. Second, we said flat out that we weren't really approving/opposing any FA nominations because we were waiting for the new rules to be approved. We're also busy with the FA Review. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 18:49, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Okay, but just saying, since it's been up for almost a month and a half now. -- Obi Maul12 ( Meet a Warrior) (talk to me) 22:21, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
 * We're currently in the middle of reviewing 70 articles in a massive FA review. Seriously, Joe, it's none of your concern. If Jasca was concerned about how long it was taking, he'd say something. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 22:49, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I understand that it's none of my concern. -- Obi Maul12 ( Meet a Warrior) (talk to me) 23:05, 28 April 2008 (UTC)

Just a suggestion, maybe you could crop off the left side of the infobox picture so it focuses more on him. Drewton  ( Drewton's Holocron ) 00:49, 20 July 2008 (UTC)
 * This is the Dark Lord of the Sith of Star Wars Fanon. HE must be brought to supreme power. He must be a featured article! And.... he will...eventually. --  Arav the Undersith  ( Talk Page ). 06:18, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *Only 13 non-date links maximizing the use of only 10 'pre-canon' links.
 * 3) * Image:Vaderemperor.jpg is not sourced properly.
 * 4) **Done.  Wing   msg 13:39, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *I don't know...it just seems that this article needs so much more. Especially considering the subject matter. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:03, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) Image:EsCape.jpg is not sourced properly.
 * 3) Personality is Mary Sue-ish. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  16:35, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Sorted out the first one, but no idea what you mean by the second. Mind elaborating? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 09:19, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments
Another one. -- iChat What I've done 08:27, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Cleared by the Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:18, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Alright, I just read through it now that Ataru's complaints have been fixed. In doing so, I can't find anything either. Nice job on the article, though there's a certain attitude as seen below that reminds me how some people don't fully understand what it means for an article to actually be featured. If things are listed that need to be improved, it's not moaning. It's called "not putting articles up that have errors in them". - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 20:27, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Jeez, I wasn't being serious... Unit 8311 20:30, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Could've fooled me. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 20:34, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * And apparently did. :-P I knew he was joking, as was I when I referred to the attitude. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:40, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Good job.- Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:53, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) No BtS. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  16:36, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) This is also a big concern for me, and currently the only one I have because I have to take a look at the article once more to make sure it's up to FA standards rather than just GA standards. For the authors, please don't take what the FA requirements say literally and only put one fact. This is a collaborative article in a massive collaborative project. There is a lot that you can say here. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 16:43, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Just to clarify, what sort of stuff should we put in a BTS? All I can really think of right now is simply 'this was a collaboration between Darth tom and Unit 8311, who decided to make this article a GA because they felt like it', or words to that effect. Or should we give some sort of whole background to the project? Unit 8311 12:45, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Any background you give for context should be minimal. Rather than telling you what I think should be in there, which would be hard, I'll give you a recent example of mine - the Kal'Shabbol Civil War. The Behind the scenes is a two-parter. The first part covers the initial development, where I got my ideas for the basic plot and all that. The second part, which was mostly from Solus, went over where he got his ideas which were a great deal of cultural and religious undertones. Read that and then read the one on Ussej Padric Bac III and Narod Antrell. I think these three are fairly good "BTS guides", so to speak. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 16:23, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a BTS. Not the best in the world, yes, but it's all I could think of. Unit 8311 19:52, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * That is not in any way a FA-worthy Behind the scenes section. There's absolutely no detail about anything. Also, the article lacks a Legacy section. It's required to have one. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 17:46, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Thought you might say something like that. A legacy section could be done by splitting the aftermath in half, but considering the war isn't over yet (and won't be for at least a few more months) any such thing would be very short. I'm not saying it can't be done, by the way. And yes, I know the BTS is too short, but considering that I just thought virtually all of it off the top of my head and tom added a bit, there's almost nothing to say in terms of inspiration and development. Get my drift? Unit 8311 19:38, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I've been asked to weigh in on this (probably some sort of hazing for new DLs :-P) and I've taken a peek at just the BtS for this article. 3 short sentences on this isn't what I'm looking for an in FA BtS. Who wrote the various parts of the article? How was the outcome decided between the users? Who came up with the idea? With the name? When was this designed? How does it fit into the overall war (partially addressed)? Were there historical/canonical influences? All of these things should be included in a BtS of a collaborative battle article; the fact that multiple contributed to this design process means that it should have a nice, meaty BtS. One of the things from Wookieepedia that I'd like to instill here is that a BtS is just as important as the actual history/biography section, even if it's only a tenth of the size. If it's got the == double equal signs ==, there should be some thought put into it. And that's all I've got to say about that.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:36, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Enlarged the BtS by tons, sorted out Legacy issue. --[[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 11:19, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the irradiated desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "arguably a major turning point." The word arguably tips off my POVmeter every time.
 * 3) * "full nuking of half the planet" Reword that please; how do you do a "full nuking" of half the planet.
 * 4) * "Nuking" is too informal; reword on sight.
 * 5) * "offering all Redharn critics ammunition." Ammunition for what? Their blasters?
 * 6) * "which was dangerously near the frontier of Necasian territory, and was heavily rich in resources, meaning a bonus to the war effort of both sides." Stilted wording/some POVishness.
 * 7) * "that they could buy these transmissions basic encryption codes" Reword this; some confusion.
 * 8) * Italicize class names of ships.
 * 9) **Check your infobox. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:04, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "However, Necasian DarkBirds were able to drive some of the gunships away, despite Invado's treachery, although Srav flak was filling the sky, meaning that Necasian air support was limited, with only a few Zayre daring to make the treacherous descent down to the planet." Run-on.
 * 11) * "chances of Redharn failing and he usurping" Uh?
 * 12) **Better, but some context on what he would be usurping would be nice. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Don't ever use nuke either, unless you're changing its definition from "nuclear weapon"
 * 14) * "They pushed on, intent on destroying the remaining Sravs" Unclear antecedent.
 * 15) **The wording is fine; the unclear part is the "They". Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "and the destruction was total." Reword this; it's rather weaselly.
 * 17) * "The battle had been an utter disaster, with the manipulative Askar Invado orchestrating" POV.
 * 18) * "be born with horrific deformities" Horrific is POV.
 * 19) * " Cul-Huq nearly all of its technology and designs" Missing verb.
 * 20) * "and expanded current sections already put there by Unit 8311, to raise the standard." Clarify what this means.
 * 21) * I would link to its GAN.
 * 22) *These are relatively simple fixes and I think they could be cleared up easily. Overall pretty good. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:01, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Your concerns have been addressed, my lord. If there is anything else you request from thy humble servant, please state so. Unit 8311 18:11, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Thou hast done well thus far. Make thy two last obeisances and ye shalt gain the stamp of approval from mine Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:51, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ****There. Is it to thy full satisfaction now, oh master? Unit 8311 19:59, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *****To quote Garven Dreis, "almost there . . . " Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:04, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Done. Is there anything else that thou has to moan righteously complain about? Unit 8311 20:14, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Nope, just a certain attitude. :-P Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:18, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Wow, Project Cruentus has come so far![[Image:AndeLeg.jpg|20px]] <font color="Green">Arav (<font color="Green" size="1">talk ) 11:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments
First Project Cruentus FAN. -- iChat What I've done 08:27, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Cleared by the Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  12:12, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) Only 10 non-date links
 * 3) *I now count 21 non-date links. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 20:26, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) It seems to me that the aftermath and/or the legacy should be lengthened. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  22:00, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Aftermath and legacy expanded. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 00:04, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 7) * Context on Jerec and Vader's Fist (intro). Having a light blue link alone isn't good enough.
 * 8) * " along powerful infantry/mechanized infantry attack force" Reword.</s.
 * 9) * Change all instances of Clone troopers to "clone troopers" except at the beginning of a sentence.
 * 10) * "sparked a dark age, known by" Some POV/prosetry.
 * 11) * "It's Rebellion Time" Unencyclopediac (UE) section title, capitalization error.
 * 12) * "offered to help them if they were commanded by the two local Jedi" Who offered to help whom? Some unclear antecedents (UA) here.
 * 13) * "They were immediately met with heavy defensive fire," UA (see above)
 * 14) * "gaseous landscape" Reword. How do you have a gaseous landscape?
 * 15) * Ditto with Stormtrooper.
 * 16) * "an adequate Imperial strike force" Adequate is POV.
 * 17) * "warped in system" Uh . . . this isn't Star Trek. ;-)
 * 18) * Please decide between your usage of Boba and Fett. I prefer Fett. This does not include uses of "Boba Fett"; those are fine.
 * 19) * "The Stormtroopers managed to land a few good shots, but nothing they had done strengthened their in the city." POV/wording.
 * 20) * " with trooper cover fire" Reword.
 * 21) * "Blood runs red" Prosetry/UE in section title.
 * 22) * " grew larger and more deadly after each raid." POV/prosetry.
 * 23) * More context on LAAT please. And spell it out on first mention.
 * 24) * I dislike your excessive use of "taken out" or "taken care of". It's euphemistic and weaselly, as well as unimaginative. Please find a different phrase.
 * 25) * "Tragedy looms" POV/UE section title.
 * 26) * "Jir received the best transmission he had heard all day" POV.
 * 27) * "==Twilight turns Dark==" Prosetry/UE in section title. Yes, I am going to destroy that BtS note.
 * 28) * "followed the Force to his destiny on Gand. Prosetry.
 * 29) * 2nd and 3rd paras of "finding the survivors" are full of prosetry.
 * 30) *How does Vader learn the Jedi's name? Clarify. Rule 3.3
 * 31) * "it became clear that Vader was the better duelist, but his stamina paled in comparison to Blin's. " Some POV here.
 * 32) * " without mercy, not giving him a moment to strike. This maneuver seemed to be tiring out the young Jedi, so Vader decided to end this little duel quickly." Some prosetry here.
 * 33) * Any time you mention or call something a "dark side power", it's POV.
 * 34) * Though I've fixed all instances of this, the lightsaber form is Djem So, not "Djem Su"
 * 35) * "Benn tossed his lightsaber to his Master, and he was prepared to strike down the Dark Lord." UA.
 * 36) * Context needed on Jerec's arrival to the duel.
 * 37) * "cared physically or mentally" Should that be scarred?
 * 38) * "Seeing countless comrades die before your eyes took a massive toll on your sanity, and many other soldiers of the Empire turned to to distractions like drinking or spice to reduce the pain." Reword, tense, and second person
 * 39) * Decap "Defenses" in "Breaching the Defenses"
 * 40) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:22, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments

 * Just throwing it into the nominations, its been a GA for a month or so (maybe longer)... --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 19:10, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * @ Solus: For the links, are we counting all links, like the links in the infobox and the BtS section? There are at least three additional relevant links in those sections. Though that's still doesn't hit the 20 link requirement, I'll see if I can add any relevant links to the storyline or expand the legacy/aftermath. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 00:39, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Any non-duplicated non-date in-SWF link counts. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  00:41, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

"Any time you mention or call something a "dark side power", it's POV."

- User:Atarumaster88

If I may say so, I find this statement to be inaccurate. A force power's connection to the dark or light side of the Force is not a point of view. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 17:25, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Replied on your talk page, but in essence, the followers of the Potentium, Grey Jedi, etc. would believe otherwise, making it inherently POV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:43, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Clarified, objection struck. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:22, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Just maybe. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:29, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) No complaints here. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  22:46, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I went through it and I don't believe I missed anything. - <font color="#1A2BBB">President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] <font color="#1A2BBB">(Pressroom) <font color="#1A2BBB">(Record) 20:43, 29 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments

 * Let it not be said that I didn't pound this on the Desk first. Did a pretty thorough copyedit, though I might have missed a few things.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:29, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) I can't find anything, darn it. Help me out, Ataru! - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:24, 6 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments
I'll abstain from voting until any complaints that are brought up are addressed. Once they are, then I'll vote. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 15:58, 6 August 2008 (UTC)