CS:Anya Ser

This is the review page for the good article nomination of Anya Ser.

Objections

 * 1) Here's what I could find:
 * 2) *Intro
 * 3) *What's the Jedi Order? Context.
 * 4) *Tramautizing is borderline POV here. Specify that it was tramuatizing for her.
 * 5) **I think I fixed it - Hopefully. Although, I probably made it worse.. Antonstaen (Talk) 16:20, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I fixed it a little more. =P - Brandon Rhea Rebel symbol Blue.png (talk) 16:22, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *What's the Old Republic? Yeah, I can tell it's a Republic that's old, but other than that...
 * 8) *What's Coruscant?
 * 9) *What's a Padawan?
 * 10) *What were the Mandalorian Wars about?
 * 11) *What was the Battle of Vanquo about?
 * 12) *What was the Jedi Civil War about?
 * 13) *What's the Sith?
 * 14) *More in a moment. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  16:14, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Ignore every single one of those objections, save for the POV one. You don't need context like that in an introduction. - Brandon Rhea Rebel symbol Blue.png (talk) 16:15, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***What? When did this happen? Anyway:
 * 17) ****Well it should have always been like that, but we stopped asking for that sort of thing months ago. - Brandon Rhea Rebel symbol Blue.png (talk) 16:28, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *Early life
 * 19) *What's an agriworld?
 * 20) *What's the Force?
 * 21) *Incident on Ithor
 * 22) *What's a Herdship?
 * 23) **Think I fixed it.
 * 24) *The first sentence of this section could be a bit more precise. It implies that Wenn's homeworld is called the Outer Rim.
 * 25) **Think I fixed it.
 * 26) *'Trough'--'through'
 * 27) *The strongest vision--possible POV. The strongest vision in her opinion, perhaps.
 * 28) **Physically strongest. Not POV, in my opinion.
 * 29) *The Mandalorian Wars
 * 30) *'When it was over, most of the hostile force had been slain, the rest fleeing'. Slightly prosey. Change the rest part to 'and the rest fled.'
 * 31) **Think I fixed it.
 * 32) *She was soon found by a group of republican soldiers who brought her with them to their ship, ready to evacuate the planet - The battle had been lost.' You may want to replace the dash with a dot, to form two seperate sentences. Also, I recommend you capitalize 'Republican', or just plain 'Republic soldiers' to avoid any confusing connotations.
 * 33) **Fixed it.
 * 34) *'Something large would happen'--something of importance, maybe.
 * 35) **Fixed it.
 * 36) *More in a bit. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  16:24, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) *Jedi Civil War:
 * 38) *Who's Alek Squinquargesimus?
 * 39) *What's a Sith?
 * 40) *Context on the bombing of Telos IV.
 * 41) *'The invasion force was lead by none but Darth Revan himself' Prosey. Just plain 'led by Darth Revan' will do.
 * 42) *'came to and end'--'came to an end'
 * 43) *'Dueling the Sith lord among the corpses of a dozen soldiers, they were killed one by one' this sentence could be reworded. On top of the corpses would make more sense.
 * 44) *'The blast left both of the duelists wounded, Revan receiving the most serious injuries.' 'serious' is POV, and add a 'with' before Revan.
 * 45) 'the grief the deaths of a thousand Jedi had caused,' prosey, and could he reworded. Do you mean 'of a thousand Jedi he had caused?' Also, is it precisely a thousand? Not 999, or 1001? ;)
 * 46) *What's Sai cha?
 * 47) *Legacy
 * 48) *Decapitalize 'that' in 'That of Anya's'
 * 49) *Personality and traits
 * 50) *Make the first phrase 'Anya was considered an open person'
 * 51) *Talents and abilities
 * 52) *'Anya had a stronger connection' POV
 * 53) *Context on Force Sense.
 * 54) *'Wielding a simple lightsaber with a green hilt, she utilised the form known as Soresu.' the lightsaber detail here seems somewhat unnecessary, and not very relevant to the next part of the sentence.
 * 55) *'because it's similar to the word "seer".' it's--it was.
 * 56) *'During the time the article was being developed, several key details changed. Most notably, Anya's species.' connect these two sentences. Notably is also POV.
 * 57) *'which would have made everything rather complicated' POV
 * 58) *All for now. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  16:34, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
I'm nominating this mostly for the chance to have made a good article, but also so that my (In my own opinion) frequent errors can be fixed. Thanks beforehand. Antonstaen (Talk) 15:47, September 23, 2009 (UTC)