User:MPK/Bigass Full-Blown Review of Prophet, Thing of Evil





Introduction I: For the Fanonite
Yeah, I did. I don't really know why, stop asking stupid questions. The reader should be advised that this review isn't quite meant for people who are unfamiliar with the story in question; but if you give it a good skimming as you read, then you should be good. I'm posting it here mostly because Fanfiction.net only allows reviews to be a maximum of 10,000 characters (Revan only knows why; nobody there ever uses them for anything), and so I could link to it over there.

Introduction II: For the Unwashed Masses
I'd like to preface this review by noting that I don't know who The Food Critic, who linked to my off-the-cuff recollection of this story earlier, is. More importantly, because this fan fic has intrigued me in the past, I think it's only fair that I give it something that more closely resembles a proper review. I puked these recollections out in a couple of hours, and I hope someone finds them enlightening. Also, to anyone reading this: I BEG you to treat my review fairly – It isn't flaming, it isn't nonsense, it's a straight-up fair-and-square review; I genuinely did analyze this with an open mind and I do mention the things about this story that I did like.

So, why did I spend so much time on this? Well, truth be told, I honestly felt that a story as strongly praised as this one – "possibly the best story ever spawned from Star Wars" – deserved to be looked at with a more thorough, scrutinizing eye than ever before. Also, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.

Character Analysis
The best way to start off the review proper, I think, would be to tackle the main character. Revan, alias Selene Jashan, is a Mary Sue, and a brutal one at that; "An implausibly flawless, competent, and idealized character." Just for giggles, I went to TVTropes (where I got that definition) and wanted to see how many flavors of Mary Sue this Revan fit into, and the list is impressive: God Mode Sue (ridiculously overpowered), Jerk Sue (exactly what it sounds like), Relationship Sue (presented as the indisputably perfect partner for another character), and Villain Sue (evil). And don't worry, over the course of this review I'm pretty sure I'll cover most of those in greater and more fair detail. Revan is a Mary Sue, and like nearly all Mary Sues across the multiverse of fiction, no other characters in this story ever find any fault in her, which is something that annoyed me to no end while reading it, because I the reader could (and will) come up with a great many things in that regard. In fact, I am unable to sympathise with this character or believe that she is any kind of a hero. The single force that drives her entire character is her possessive "love" for Bastila, who swoons over her to no end. And although both Revan and Bastila mention a few of the former's flaws at several brief points in the story, they are always promptly dismissed, and the plot train rolls on as though nothing was even said. There was a lot of potential for some genuine conflict here – such as Revan turning into someone Bastila doesn't love because of Bastila, for instance – but neither the story nor the characters ever seem to care about anything except what Revan thinks and wants.

Also, while I did enjoy some of the moments Revan, Bastila, and Malak had together in the earlier flashbacks, I don't really find the romance between the former two to be particularly believable. The narrative spends a lot more time establishing Vrook Lamar as an asshole than the heroine and her damsel as a true pair that's meant to be together. Indeed, it even seems to inadvertantly imply that one of the primary things that drove Bastila into Revan's arms was not some special connection they had, but rather the fact that the former has an insufferable, sociopathic douchebag of a Master. In fact, I'm not sure there's anything the two are shown to have in common. I'm dead serious, here – the two don't spend much time doing anything except goofing around, and then suddenly they kiss for no particular reason, and BAM, it's a "romantic passion" (by the paragraph, the setting of these key events started to look less and less like a training academy for members of an Order of peace-keeping warriors and more like a wacky High School, complete with a melodramatic teen "romance" and stereotypically nasty faculty). There is no more effort given to the establishment of the relationship than that.

A relatively more minor point before moving on to the meat of her character: It is my opinion that if a KotOR fic writer intends to go into extensive detail on Revan's story prior to the Jedi Civil War, then they ought to do something to explain why and how she is the military and manipulative genius that the fanbase ubiquitously insists she is. That is not done in this story, not even a single paragraph explaining why she is such a great threat to the Republic (except for the Star Forge, but I'll get to that later) In fact, pretty much nothing she does in this story carries any subtelty – all she does is rampage through people because she has unstoppable plot-favoritism powers.

With that out of the way, it's time to get down and dirty – not as dirty as Force bond masturbation-sex, mind you, but pretty damn close. There are several reasons that I cannot root for or even sympathise with Revan as a hero or a protagonist. First, from the beginning of Chapter 4, it is firmly established that Revan does not care about saving Republic lives from the invading Mandalorian marauders; she is only concerned with amassing a fleet with which she can take Bastila back from the Jedi. This destroys the commonly-used defense that Revan's actions were justified by her heroism in defeating the Mandalorians and intention to save the galaxy from the Sith in the Unknown Regions. But in this story, she doesn't care about either of those things, so I have no more reason to root for her than I would for a hitman whose only motivation is getting payed to support a drug addiction or similar vice.

Second, Revan is willing to conspire with the Sith, aid in or tolerate the spread their teachings, and declare war on the Republic after destroying the Mandalorians. Even though earlier in the same chapter she said she only wanted Bastila back, she inexplicably decides that she is willing to commit treason and war crimes instead of just going straight to Dantooine (and even willing to atomize Dantooine just because of the Jedi being on it). While she does briefly show some remorse, it never actually goes anywhere, and nobody ever truly calls Revan out on it (not even Bastila, who should do so more than anyone). Not only that, Vrook is the only Jedi in this story who ever does anything evil – why does the story seem to be trying to convince me that it was all right for Revan to kill so many other Jedi and so many Republic soldiers and citizens?

Third, Revan hates the Republic simply because they sent her into what appeared to be a hopeless war – sent her because she offered to go, incidentally – and (again) shows no remorse for mass killing of its civilians. And while we're on this topic, why did Revan's fleet obey her commands to turn on the Republic? There is nothing like the canon explanation, that she corrupted them with the dark side in the Unknown Regions. The crews should have mutinied against her when she ordered them to massacre Republic citizens.

Remember the Mary Sue definitions above? The prime definition includes the word "idealized", and that certainly fits here, for Revan is able to get away with anything, even escalating a public heated rant-argument by shouting things like "Fuck the Jedi Code!" and having bystanders seem impressed by her debate "skills". Virtually everything about Revan reeks of self-insert in this story, but especially her style of doing and saying things. For starters, she does not speak like any realistic Jedi or Sith I can imagine. An absurd amount of her dialogue and thoughts is spent fuming at her objects of hatred, often with copious use of swear words, and she never employs any use of tact or elegance (in action or in speech) that one would feel inclined to expect from a powerful Jedi Knight or Sith Lord, especially one of her reputation. Honestly, I can't even take her seriously as a villain, what with her calling people "spawns of tauntauns" and interrupting and cussing at everyone like a petulant teenager. And people think Anakin in the prequels was an annoying, whiny asshole – at least he actually struggles with his responsibilities and good side for a time. Overall, Revan is a very wretched, vile excuse for a human being in this story, showing no shame or shyness in admitting her willingness to commit mass murder over her love for Bastila – to top it off, she isn't even decent enough to be above wanting to torture her nemeses (Malak and Vrook). She is straight-up, no-excuses evil in this story. The protagonist being evil isn't necessarily a damning offense on its own, however; villainous characters can make engaging protagonists if their dark elements are offset by redeeming values, they are very clearly morally superior to the antagonists whom they oppose, or they are just plain cool, well-written, and entertaining. The damning offense is that Revan is none of those things.

Since by this point we've gotten to most of Revan's character, it's time to give some attention to poor, poor Bastila, a true damsel in distress if there ever was one. Her single role in this fic is to be Revan's hapless romantic interest, and it shows – she does not change throughout the story, and the only reason she fights Revan on the Star Forge is because that happened in the game. There is no real conflict of any sort between the two. Past Chapter 1, Bastila is nothing except plot baggage, plain and simple. She is a cardboard cutout, a barely-living MacGuffin that is carried from Point A to Point B for the sole, express purpose of advancing the plot. She possesses no mind of her own, and as Anon noted in his short comment, if she had an ounce of conscience or sanity she would be horrified and repulsed to learn that Revan killed millions of innocent people over her.

Despite these flaws, Bastila is inadvertantly the closest thing to a sympathetic character that this story has, since the Jedi are evil and Revan is a crazy evil bitch. I feel very feel sorry for Bastila because she spends the whole story taking shit she doesn't deserve, usually from Vrook or Malak. She is the entire plot's chew toy, and the only person who doesn't deserve any of the hell she's put through.

It's now time to move on to one of the characters who I liked a lot at first: Malak. I was impressed by him in the first chapter – he was an impressively compelling villain, a genuinely formidable and twisted Dark Lord who might in fact kill the heroes and triumph, and the addition of him being Bastila's brother helped to complement his villainy even further. Sadly, however, he completely loses his ability to stand up on his own past the first chapter. In the majority of the flashbacks, he is also a chew toy for the plot, defined only by his being in love with Revan for no particular reason and a raging case of predictable Malak-Is-A-Complete-Moron syndrome.

Even when the story's flashbacks end and we are returned to the present, his macho man villain status is shattered when the Power of Love(tm) re-energizes Revan, and he is instantly reduced to the classic fan's interpretation: a petty, brainless, talentless paper tiger living in Revan's shadow. The author doesn't even give him the dignity of being able to go toe-to-toe with Revan in a fair fight. That is something that should never be done to a story's main antagonist without a damn good reason, and this story's reason – to show how immensely powerful and resourceful Revan is – does not qualify. His brief moments of glory in Chapter 1 notwithstanding, Malak, like Vrook, as a villain is predictably too weak and too stupid to do anything except piss Revan off, rather than actually posing a threat to her.

Incidentally, one of the key elements of Malak's character seems to be his corruption by the teachings of the Sith. It would have been far more interesting if this had been shown to the reader rather than told – especially if the Sith had a leader who was influencing him, and if it showed Revan truly giving a shit about losing her friend.

This now brings us to Jolee Bindo, one of the stranger parts of this beast. I don't know if the author didn't care or simply didn't know, but Jolee's established backstory is absolutely butchered in this fanfic. For starters, Jolee was never even a Jedi Knight (let alone Master), and he left the Order long before Revan showed up. And he didn't have his entire family killed by some random dude with no backstory, detail, or subsequent mentioning. Incidentally, Jolee seems pretty nonchalant about what would be a pretty traumatizing experience for anyone – facing down and killing the murderer of your loved ones in a rage – but the story supplies so little detail on the incident that its contrivance is only more highlighted (incidentally, it might've been interesting to see this critical moment in his and Revan's lives). He serves no ultimate purpose except a contrived reason for Revan to hate the Jedi. He's one of the more popular characters in the game, so it is not surprising that he is magically a brilliant and wise (supposedly) Jedi Master who is infinitely better than Vrook, and exactly the same in personality and disposition as he is years later when he and Revan meet during the events of the game.

Moreover, the Jedi in charge would have every reason to put Jolee under scrutiny for using Force lightning of all powers to (it is strongly implied) kill someone in revenge. Revan's protest holds no water, yet it is treated as a catalyst that helps to justify her later dissatisfaction with the Jedi.

In Chapter 4, Revan tells Jolee about her entire experience. He knows her motivations and what she's feeling, and most importantly that Revan is out for blood. So why the fuck did he tell her about the Star Maps and point her to the Star Forge? Knowing all that he knows, how could he possibly not think that she would go on a rampage with its power behind her? Also, don't tell me that Jolee doesn't know anything about the Star Forge in this story; if he didn't, then he would have no reason to tell Revan about the maps in the first place.

One of the saddest things about this story is that Jolee's speech to a young Revan about foolish pride and personal responsibility for one's actions was extremely well written, and would've been very compelling if it was actually put to any modicum of use. But rather than serving as a powerful central theme, it is thrown out with all of the other great opportunities.

Speaking of garbage, that brings us to Vrook Lamar, who is arguably the most sloppily-written character of the entire bunch, even when compared to Revan and Bastila. Jolee's and Bastila's egregious character derailment pales in comparison to Vrook's, and the man is given so much contrived villainy that I can't take him seriously. This simply is not the character from Knights of the Old Republic – he's an original character with the same name (and a bad one at that).

I've talked at length before about how fanfic tends to treat Vrook. Just why is Vrook so bloody special? Why does he deserve so much attention? As presented in the actual game, the worst thing that can be said of him is that he's overly critical (even though he praises Revan's efforts on Dantooine if he/she acts like a proper Jedi actually should). But despite how much shit he gets from the fanbase, I've never before seen a story where he is railroaded so far and so shamelessly from mere contemptibility to outright monster territory. Incidentally, why does this fic act as though he is the tyrannical dictator of the Jedi Order, rather than just one member of the Council? Why is he even a villain at all?

Regarding his actual character on its own merits: Vrook in this story is chronically unpleasable, insanely controlling, completely lacking in empathy, and long before he decides to tamper with Bastila's memories, transparently full of himself to a sociopathic degree – and all for no reason at all. Why the fuck did the rest of the Council tolerate his behavior, and how the fuck am I supposed to believe that this guy was even allowed the rank of Master in the first place? Do you really think to convince me that the Jedi Order is this this stupid?

Vrook exists as nothing except a contrived, painfully obvious strawman of an antagonist whose sole purpose is to hurt Bastila and Revan for no good reason so that the latter can feel justified in killing him (and an entire host of other Jedi) in an extremely hideous manner toward the end. Unlike the author's take on Malak, though, he doesn't have a shred of believability in his poor soul, and Revan's "triumph" over him is handled in such a disgusting and ham-fisted manner that the most eloquent term I can think of to describe it with is "blatant fanwankery."

Fundamental Canon/Timeline Inconsistencies
With the main characters covered for the moment, I will proceed to move on to Timeline and Canon inconsistencies, roughly in order that they appear in the story.

Like many others, the author shows an extremely poor understanding of Jedi philosophy and the Jedi Code; for starters, the "no emotion" line means that Jedi are supposed to act in the right without being influenced by personal feelings, not that feelings should be ignored and suppressed.

I am simply unable to believe that one argument between Revan and Vrook and the unveiling that Revan and the Padawan of Vrook are in a romantic relationship would be such a huge screaming deal that the entire authority structure of the Order is so severely shaken. What should have happened at the end of that situation is Vrook being relieved of his position by the rest of the Dantooine Council (probably followed by a psychological examination), and Revan being reprimanded by her superiors (not to mention rightly mocked by her fellow Jedi Knights) for being too much of an immature twat to maintain any sense of diplomacy. Seriously, "Fuck the Jedi Code"? PEOPLE DO NOT TALK THAT WAY.

Also on the topic of the Jedi Order, I am unable to believe that the Council (who in this story seems to suspiciously consist solely of Vrook) would do to Bastila's mind what they do in this story. And before anyone objects to this point, their deception of Revan in KotOR is a very different case, because they at least have the defense of it being their only hope of stopping Malak. In this story, the forced amnesia of Bastila is nothing except yet another contrived act of senseless Jedi evil.

There are two very big problems with the Mandalorian Wars. To start, dare I say that the story's take on Revan's role in the war (that the Republic had no faith in Jedi assistance whatsoever and fully intended to send them to their deaths) is total bullshit? In truth, this "interpretation" is nothing more than a ridiculous distortion, manufactured to later (attempt to) justify Revan's betrayal and war crimes following the end of the war. Besides, all the story itself supplies is that the Republic was woefully underequipped (something unavoidable), and there is never anything actually shown in the story that suggests to us that Revan's claims in this matter are correct.

Second, I understand that, by definition, writers of fan fic are entitled to take a variety of creative liberties when it comes to their stories – bending established facts and such or supplementing them for the story's own purposes. However, there are some cases where the discrepancy is simply too much. A prime example of this would be Revan putting the Star Forge to use in the Mandalorian Wars, when it was very firmly established in the game that he didn't even find the first Star Map until after the war was over. I really am not nitpicking this point; it is a major continuity error, and what's more, it actually undermines Revan's supposed prowess as a master of war. Rather than beating the Mandalorians with masterful deceptions and strategies, it's with the unlimited war materiel produced by the Star Forge.

Also noteworthy is that the presence of Sith as far back as the Mandalorian Wars in this story is never properly explained; they simply appear out of nowhere to shoehorn in Revan's "not really a Sith" coolade. Seriously, where did they come from? Are they survivors of the Great Sith War? Are they from the Unknown Regions? Why would the fact that Revan is not a light-sider make them swear allegiance to her rather than simply forming an alliance? Also, perhaps most importantly, why do these Sith not already have a Dark Lord controlling them, and instead want to thrust the title upon an extremely reluctant ex-Jedi whose motivations and goals are unknown to them?

Other
Hereafter, the review will be discussing other choice parts of note. Here's a good one to start with: I found the psychic sex scene to be supremely contrived, somewhat painful to read, rather tasteless, and completely irrelevant to the rest of the story.

Also, an omnipresent flaw: nearly all of the battle scenes – particularly the ones with armies and fleets – are woefully undescribed and very awkwardly glossed over. It would have been far more satisfying if the pivotal moments and elements that defined the author's take on the Mandalore War and Jedi Civil War were shown rather than told. This comes to a head in Chapter 4; the (as always) irritatingly short battle that climaxes it is absurd to such a degree that I don't think it's fair that I have to dissect it (and while I don't see what purpose was served by completely changing the setting of Revan's capture, that's neither here nor there). There is absolutely no reason Revan (or Bastila or Vrook, come to think of it) should have survived the events described. You cannot convince me that any Jedi or Sith could survive a barrage of turbolaser fire, and even if I were to concede that such a feat were acceptable, there is the matter of having just seconds earlier getting impaled by a lightsaber. That alone should kill her, and I shouldn't even have to bother mentioning the orbital bombardment thing (then again, perhaps it's the other way around). As my colleague Atarumaster88 noted, "[I]t's a good thing *everyone* can survive being stabbed by a lightsaber. Too bad Qui-Gon didn't know that trick."

Also, I nearly laughed at the mention of "a large chunk of debris [almost] knock[ing] her head off". If the author had given even the slightest attention to how powerful capital ship weaponry would have to be in the Star Wars universe, then Revan wouldn't have a head to get knocked off, or any body parts for that matter. The only possible in-universe explanation is that the gunners on the two capital ships (and Malak has no excuse for this) were too stupid to actually aim anywhere near Revan's location.

Chapters 5 & 6
From this point, I will discuss key elements of Chapters 5 & 6, and then move on to my closing thoughts.

The portion of Chapter 5 which begins, "No, I wasn't a good person" sums up everything that is wrong with Revan and not only drives the last stake through the heart of the corpse of my ability to sympathise with her, but also made me wish that she and Bastila would die at Malak's hands. Seriously, I absolutely could not abide the sheer self-righteous gall that Revan shows here. This part actually rendered me speechless, for up to this point I had been tempted to believe that the author was simply blind to how dispicable her protagonist is, but that comforting illusion was shattered, for everything is mentioned in this section – her rejection of the Jedi, collaboration with the Sith, her killing of millions of innocents just for Bastila, her sadism, her lack of commitment to either side of the Force, and her willingness to do anything, no matter how vile, to get what she wants – Revan calls to mind every single one of her vices and dismisses them, clearly neither giving a shit nor expecting the reader to – and there is never any counterpoint; never in this story does a single character stand up to Revan and say "No, what you're doing is wrong, and here's why." By every indication, this story wants me to believe that the things Revan did were only evil from the Jedi Order's point of view.

Bastila weakly protests when Revan uses Malak's Jedi-Drainage-Apparatus to horribly murder Vrook plus a score of captive Jedi and boost her strength exponentially, but like every single other opportunity for greatness in this story, it goes nowhere. There is no tension between the two; Bastila, who is nothing except an object to be possessed by Revan, does not give one ounce of lasting thought to the implications of the woman she loves delving so deeply into such unholy power – power which, of course, has no lasting negative side-effects whatsoever on Revan, who is immune to dark-side corruption thanks to her powers of plot-favoritism. At several points the story briefly takes some time to wax philosophical about how there is no dark side or light side, despite how clearly the movies (and the fucking game, incidentally) establish their existence. But don't worry, Bastila forgets about her horror at seeing Revan tapping into sources of ungodly, malignant power – sources of power that are making her eyes glow like fucking spotlights, by the way – before the end of the fucking chapter.

This is the sum of Revan's character right here: Not one thing about her is heroic, and she is too much of an over-the-top wise-cracking, smug, arrogant, self-glorifying jackass of a Mary Sue for me to take her seriously as a villain, or for me to want anything for her except a swift, agonizing death. Face the facts: Revan in this story is a horrible, horrible person. At least Darth Sidious had himself convinced that he wanted to bring peace, order, and prosperity to the galaxy, even if it meant embracing the full powers of evil to do it – Revan does not even pretend that she has any justification beyond her own personal desires. She is the absolute definition of selfishness and antithesis of every sympathisable protagonist (both the flawed and the squeaky clean) I have ever read. To top it off, she views the entire struggle of the Republic, the Jedi, and even her own path of bloody vengeance as "absolutely meaningless, garbage left to rot into oblivion." Revan is a slave to her impulses and became a mass-murderer over her first fucking teenage crush. And as though the story weren't already enough of a perverse mockery of everything it could have been (such as a tragic epic about the self-destructive potential for pride and blind lust), in this very same chapter, Malak's last words – in simple, stark contrast Revan and Bastila's subsequent nonsensical rambling about love, justice, purpose, and reality – cut to the bone, holding greater truth than any others in this colossal missed opportunity: "Who's the monster now?"

Needless to say, nobody in the story cares - even though Revan would've been literally floored by such words if she had been written as an actual human being – and according to the story, neither should the reader.

After Malak is humiliatingly and underservedly curb-stomped by a god-like superpowered Revan, the latter woman starts to die for no particular reason. The story does throw in some stuff about her being unable to handle all the power she took in, but considering how powerful she is according to this story it only comes off as a contrivance to jerk the reader around with Revan possibly dying – and of course, she doesn't. She and Bastila engage in some tiring philosophical wangsting bullshit interspersed with flirting. To no one's surprise, Bassie has completely accepted Revan, who, because she hasn't pulled out quite enough Mary Sue-God-Mode toys out of her ass yet, somehow merges her consciousness with the Star Forge and using the enormous arsenal of devastating weaponry (which it doesn't have, by the way), single-handedly crushes the Sith armada and decides to save the beaten Republic one (but only because they didn't hurt Bastila, of course, not because she gives two fucks about their lives or their cause). The scene goes on much longer than necessary, trying to summon more non-existent drama as Revan is worried about working herself to death, again, but of course she uses the Power of Love(tm) again to work up enough spirit to finish the job. I was honestly surprised that she doesn't telepathically fuck Bastila again at the same time, though she does get blinded for no particular reason when it's over.

Chapter 6 serves as an excruciatingly long epilogue. Revan is back living on Dantooine with Bastila in peace. She has mysteriously dropped her burning hatred for the Jedi Order (which is odd, because earlier she condemned them all for Vrook's crimes) and has taken up residence as the local blind woman who is really wise, which allows her to ramble on to some Jedi tykes about more philosophical malarkey whose only purpose is to make her appear more awesome. "Don't let anyone else tell you what is right and what is wrong," she says, "decide for yourself. History has painted many monsters as heroes and many heroes as monsters. If everything is nothing and our actions become meaningless, why be anything but truthful to yourself?" Hey, I've got an answer: If being "true to yourself" means becoming a self-centered fucking mass-murderer, then be somebody else. I shouldn't be surprised, though – Revan never before showed an ounce of remorse for her crimes (which, incidentally, outclass the condemned Vrook's and even Malak's several times over), so why start now?

Also, I cannot help but mention that the prose describes the Jedi Master Vandar as "[standing] head and shoulders above the other Jedis". Err, Vandar is a fucking midget of the same species as Yoda.

Meanwhile, Revan notes that all of the party members – whose cameo-sized presences in the story amounted to Jack Shit and Jack Left Town – have all gone their separate ways in good faith. Pretty much the only one which pissed me off enough to be worth mentioning is Canderous, who apparently joined the Republic military. Galactic Emperor Palpatine on a Fucking Pogo Stick, this story is weird.

Naturally, Revan and Bastila are able to settle down even though their presence in that part of Dantooine is apparently common knowledge. And despite the fact that Revan says in the previous chapter that she knows more Sith are still out there or will rise eventually, they have nothing to fear from them. Nor do they have anything to fear from mobs of people who would doubtlessly be angry about the millions of civilians she ordered killed earlier in the war, if only because Revan is too badass for anyone to even think of taking a shot at her. No, instead, despite Revan remarking in the final lines that she knows sooner or later, the galaxy will stop leaving them alone because "Nothing ever ends as we want" (which, admittedly, this story proves is true), she and Bastila will in fact live happily ever after on Dantooine, flirting, having comedic moments with HK-47, and having sex until they die of Never-Produced-Sequel Syndrome. Good fucking riddance.

Summary
My closing thoughts follow this point.

I had high hopes for this story when I first started reading. It started in medias res with a truly engaging, tense struggle between the two protagonists and a genuinely menacing villain. I also admit that I did enjoy some of the banter and antics of young Revan, Bastila, and Malak, even though some parts seemed out of place. Sadly, however, the fanfic goes downhill at a truly astonishingly sharp angle. Even though along the way I saw many places where proper adjustment and focus could have led to a very interesting story, the potential was mercilessly throttled by its overwhelming one-sidedness.

To be good, a story needs drama; it needs to have the reader interested in the final outcome of the conflict in such a way that he or she hopes – not knows, but hopes – that the protagonist or hero will win. In this story, all genuine drama is completely thrown out the window past Chapter 2 or 3, even if we ignore what a horrible excuse for a hero and protagonist Revan is; the ending is completely a foregone conclusion, because no one is nearly as powerful as Revan (not even Malak, the main antagonist), no one is nearly as smart as Revan (allegedly; every main character in this story is either stupid or hopelessly insane), and no one except Revan is ever right about anything. I never get the sense from reading this story that there is actually any chance that Revan or Bastila will die, or even that the triumph of the "good guys" might be a bittersweet one.

I do not understand what merit so many other reviewers claim to see in this story. There is no moral, no lesson, no statement about life or people of any sort – and don't call me elitist; if this story was half as brilliant as all of the other reviews claim, then it would have something. It does not stand up as a single woman's personal journey through her life-defining conflict, because the conflict's end is a foregone conclusion and Revan remains totally unchanged throughout it. Revan does nothing except cut a path of fury and vengeance through a completely innocent Republic and Jedi Order (save only for Vrook), and she never looks back with any lasting regret, in the process squandering the potential it had for being a tale of redemption. As noted above, Jolee's speech to a young Revan in the flashback is so well-written that it deserved to be the herald of a running theme in the story. There could have been a compelling internal conflict where the protagonist eventually realizes how selfish she has been and must leave behind her pride in order to redeem herself, but there wasn't.

It's not a love story, either – there is love in it, ostensibly, but the story misses every opportunity it has to say anything about love, like how it can be poisoned and misused, how it can save (Bastila does not count, because it already occurs in the game and like Revan's survival was a foregone conclusion from the very start), or how it can drive people to do terrible things. From the time they fall in love, the relationship between Bastila and Revan does not change. And at no point am I, the reader, ever asked to consider whether the two are really meant for each other or right for each other, or whether the relationship is truly healthy, or whether what Revan did over her love for Bastila was justified – it only insists that it indisputably is and leaves it at that, snidely ridiculing me for daring to think freely and draw my own conclusions about the characters. The romance is very abruptly dumped into the flashback, and by the end I am truly astonished by Bastila's blindness to what Revan has become, so much so that I can't help but be reminded of the "Twilight" series.

Ultimately, there is no overarching theme or meaning to this story except for a very simple thesis: Any action is justified if it suits Revan. Good begins and ends with Revan. Allegiances to common causes or external institutions of any sort are irrelevant, useless, and superfluous. She even remarks in the penultimate chapter that Malak's dedication to his own cause was a foolish weakness (in contrast to her own willingness to conform to nothing but herself), when it arguably makes him a less morally low person than she – at least Malak (like Sidious) has the facade of wanting to make the galaxy strong.

This story makes a big show out of toting Revan's personal philosophy on the Force, most egregiously in the last two chapters. Like many Revans to be found in fanfic, she talks about how the light and dark side are only names created by Jedi and Sith (and is presented as possessing unrivaled wisdom despite only being in her fucking twenties), and even seems to dismiss the fundamental concepts of moral right and wrong: "[Malak never saw] the gray in the universe. Good and bad. Black and white. Me? Wherever life suited me, I went, contradictions be damned. [...] [We all want] something more, but unfortunately, there isn't. We are nothing and the Force provides no comfort." She talks about moral grays, but in truth, the story doesn't actually claim to have any. Revan's world is just as black and white as the one that she dismisses, except in a different way. In Revan's world, any action is justified if it helps her and Bastila in her own opinion, and that's it. While theoretically there could be a middle ground between that and the Sith, Jedi, and Republic who are all presented as betrayers deserving annihilation (most of the time), such a middle ground is never actually presented in the story. "Fatemperor" wrote that "the connection to the Force has never been so lucidly and clearly defined". How the hell does that make any sense? This story shows and tells us nothing about the Force except that if you really want something, really believe in yourself and in what you think is right independent of any external belief system or moral check or conscience – as long as you're Revan, of course – then the full powers of the universe are under your absolute command, and you're justified in everything you do to get whatever the thing is that you want because there is no lasting purpose in the Force or in the universe; it turns out that the great Sith Lords and Jedi throughout history were all idiots stumbling around in the dark, and that Anakin Skywalker's journey to redemption was a sham because you're above the dark side as well as good and evil as long as you are only concerned with yourself; in short, it turns out that everything that even the first fucking movie told us about the Force was complete bullshit. "Possibly the best story ever spawned from Star Wars"? Only someone who possesses a burning, seething contempt for the meaning of the original six movies could have written this story.

There are a lot of things that this story could have been, but every opportunity I saw where it could have done something both unique and satisfying, I saw squandered. Moral ambiguity? Done completely wrong; Revan is no better than Malak and Vrook in any respect. A love story? Wrong again; it evolves into nothing and goes nowhere. An epic struggle? Wrong again; Revan is never truly in any danger. A journey of coming of age, of enlightenment? Wrong yet again; Revan learns nothing and grows only in her capacity for evil and self-righteousness. A tale of redemption? Couldn't be wronger; the story would laugh at you for even suggesting that Revan needed redemption.

At its core, "Prophet, Thing of Evil" is best summed up in all aspects by a single internet meme: "You're doing it wrong." An enormous chain of opportunities for great suspense and intrigue, but every single one of them wasted. -MPK, Free Man  00:52, June 6, 2011 (UTC)