User:DanielZhiglov

Born in 45 BBY Anakin Gardulla Plagueis Solo Organa Lars Nass Binks Christensen Jinn Tambor Palpatine Watto Ture Amidala Kenobi Tenabrous Windu Skywalker, was a boy of many dads mostly because his mother Shmi was a tatooine hooker she rarely got any sex since she was a ugly woman for 32 years she was a hooker before several jedi masters, several Sith Lords. Senators, smugglers and Sepratists and junk dealers finally banged her Shmi embarrassed, told her son Ani that that she gave a virgin birth to him. Oh Big One Kenobi and Qui gon Jinn and Padme Amidala (her code name is Panda Bear) where sent on a mission to Tatooine but really, Qui gon and Kenobi where going back to see Shmi and maybe get laid again with her. While Qui gon talked politics and sex with obi wan and Shmi anakin grabbed Padme and showed her his droid, C-threepio. Later Anakin pestered her saying things like "are you a sand angel?" "Space pimps always talk about the sand angels on mon calamari" at dinner time qui gon and the group said that anakin was force sensitive. Anakin was a bratty preteen and Shmi wanted nothing more of him, Watto the Drug dealer hated him Ani kept his keep by fixing droids because he had no other talents, certainly not acting. Anakin started crying and having a temper tantrum because he was forced to leave because he was force sensitive. Shmi practically had to throw him out. Anakin Began cutting until Obi wan started choking him and made him stop. Qui gonn hippie jinn encountered the sex slave of palpy-tin, Darth Maul. The hippie began reasoning with the dark lord saying things like "are you an angel"? "War is not the answer man" "join the lightside man" "I don't want to fight you man". When Maul kept attacking him the hippie jumped back to his ship and left where he had severe back pains. Anakin realizing he had a Midiclorian count of. Jinn asked Vegeta what it was and Vegeta said "it's actually quite high" Ani realizing this became a spoiled, rebellious, ignorant brat. In the invasion of Naboo while Oh Big One Kenobi and Qui gon jinn where getting owned by maul anakin was jacking off in a crappy Naboo star tighter he successfully destroyed the droid machine because of his Nintendo wii skills. Anakin put his life together getting a haircut. On Coruscant the wise masters of the order hated him. Mace windu said "To old" meaning "to white" Ki adi mundi hated his tiny head, Yoda wasn't impressed with the Crying whimpering little boy who had a snicker bar in one hand and a wii controller In the other. Yaddle was to buisy pleasuring yoda to notice, and Yareal Poof hated his short neck. When Qui gon died he said to Obi wan to "Train him" coruscant slang for "throw him in front of a train". This was the first time Obi Wan screamed "NO!!"

The Troubled Teen Years

"Master Obi Wan didn't let me go to the fall out boy concert, so I spent the day Cutting"

From 30 BBY to 22BBY Anakin was a very rebellious, ignorant, emo, whiny boy. He was constantly caught with Spice and Night sticks and other drugs, at night he sneaked out of his room and went to the padawan harcore parties where he Drank, smoked, and got lap dances from twilik padawans. After having rough party nights. Obi wan finally found out and grounded him! Anakin screamed "I HATE YOU" and and ran away from the temple he was found by coruscant security guards passed out on alcahol and spice. He told the sheriff that "ITS ALL OBI WANS FAULT" Anakin became emo in 26 BBY from then he whined, cut, was a lazy bastard, he was still arrogant that he was the chosen one which the council disagreed and refused to believe even. The council hated him more and more after year after year. In 24 BBY Anakin kept on trying to recruit obi wan to the "rose side" Obi wan is a hetrosexual jedi with a drinking problem. Though anakin a transgender jedi still kept trying to recruit poor obi wan to the rose side. The clone wars and Ashoka taun-taun-o

In 22 BBY nearly 10 years since he last saw sweet ass Padme. He was in charge with obi wan to protect her from the Rapist, bounty hunter, mercenary Bossk. When anakin finally saw Padme he began muttering "boobs, pretty lady, pooter, big jugs, makepooperfeelbooter, hi, sexy lady. Padme said "Um hello" anakin pulled down his pants and Padme muttered "Oh my have you grown". Obi wan smaked the emo kid. Later after obi wan killed Zam wessel a Sex-changer Jango fett killed her before she could spill the beans. Anakin asked Padme out but Padme said "No" Anakin cried to his mommy on tattoine finding out that Sandpeople raped and kidnapped his mother Anakin went on a mad native killing spree while crying and screaming "I HATE YOU" . Finding his mother his mothers last words where "I haaate... you" anakin killed more natives and complained to Padme how obi wan was holding him back and how it's all his fault and that he is a old pussy fart bag. Finding out later what anakin said to him Obi wan Smacked emo anakin. In Geonisis Padme agreed to be with anakin if he would give her 2 billion credits each month. Anakin agreed. Anakin and obi wan easily losed to Count Dooku before master Yoda Came and owned the old man, Dooku embarrassed ran away.

Clone wars

Sometime during the clone wars Anakin had a padawan a young togruta who was strong willed, whiny, emo, had drinking and drug problems, who was rebellious like anakin. The 2 later loved eachover and had a scary relationship of underage sex, murder, drinking, and karaoke. 3 years into the war anakin was even more depressed and emo. Obi wan constantly told him that he needed a haircut. Anakin said "fuck you obi wan, I'm emo all the cool kids are" While Mace Windu pwned old man Palpy anakin ran in and cried and screamed that he needed him to save Padme. Just when Mace Windy did the killing blow anakin the piece of shit cut his hands off. Palpatine lightnigrd and throw him into the atmosphere. Anakin the was told to go with the 501st legion to kill a bunch of jedi and younglings after anakin killed younglings he became darth vader. Anakin slaughtered the sepratist council. Padme begged him to stop this, and anakin killed her. He then had a duel with obi wan that seemed endless. Obi wan owned the spoiled 18 year old teenager. Forcing vader to get a metallic suit.

24 years later.

"Eat my robotic shit" - Lord Vader

In 18 BBY Anakin Vader Skywalker battled on kashyyk after fighting and killing a homosexual, drunken, human jedi that was overdosed on spice and somehow survived order 66. He sensed his son, a powerful force wielder. Anakin killed the The homosexual jedi and his stormtroopers he then took the boy "Galen Marek" as his apprentice codenaming him "Starfucker" after years of pointless battles he sent the boy to kill jedaii masters and made him join the rebels. The boy later sacrificed himself but somehow survived and vader resscuated him for the second time and made fake clones to make him feel like a clone. While Starfucker easily defeated and pwned the old robotic more-machine-then-man bastard". He got captured by rebels but Boba Fett and the "Dark apprentice" freed him a year later. In 0 BBY he once again dueled Obi wan. This time Obi wan was a hippie, village idiot like his old master Qui gon Jinn.  He told the Sith Lord that "Join the lightside" "peace only man" "I don't want to fight you" and sacrificed himself pathetically like his master. In 3 ABY he encountered his Whiny, spoiled, headstrong young adult son who had a nightstick problem. He dueled and cut the jedis hand off.  In 4 ABY vader got owned by his own whiny son Luke sky walker. Palpatine was about to finish off Luke skywalker until vader through palpatine off the chimney making him explode. Vader then died a painful death and was cremated like then cried and screamed and had a horrible time unlike everyone else who was enjoying themselves on endor. Luke saw the spirit of Anakin, windu, obi wan, yoda, the entire council, the younglings, padme, and the entire jedi order. The end