The Fanon Menace/Season 2/Episode 6 script

Tatooine -Luke returns to homestead


 * *Pulls up to homestead, running over two Tusken Raiders*

 Sorry!

 Like father, like son…


 * *Owen enters from side*

 Do you smell smoke?

 *As he emerges from the homestead* Fire! Fire!

 Calm down, Dad. What happened?

 The blue milk spontaneously combusted!

 While it was in the fridge?

 Yeah!

 I told you to get rid of it while it was still green.

 Green?

 Yeah. We used to be nerf herders.


 * *Obi-Wan laughs discretely*

 *Glares at Obi-Wan* Anyway, one year we had a huge surplus of nerf milk. So we got a huge fridge put in under the homestead, and put all the extra milk in it. When we put it in there, it was white. Well, the next year we made lots and lots of nerf jerky, and didn’t have any more nerfs, so people stopped buying nerf milk from us. So we had lots and lots and lots of extra nerf milk. Well, after a few years, it turned green, and I told Dad to get rid of it, but he said it still tasted good, and a few people liked it, so we kept it. Several years later, it turned blue, and it’s been blue ever since.

 Wow. No wonder I never liked it…well, now that the house has burned down, there’s nothing here for me. Let’s go rescue the hologram lady.

-Goes to Mos Eisley

 A Domain patrol. They must be after the droids!

 We can’t let them fall into Domain hands!


 * *Pulls up to checkpoint*

 ID card, please.

<Obi> *Force persuade* These are not the droids you’re looking for.

<TK-421> We’re looking for droids? Really? Which ones?

<Obi> *Force persuade* Not these ones.

<TK-421> Hey, TK-422 what droids are we looking for?

<Obi> *Force persuade* None! And especially not these two!

<TK-422> I dunno. But if we were looking for droids, I’m sure these ones would be them...

<TK-421>You’re probably right. *Turns to Obi* You’re free to go.

<Obi> Thank you.


 * *Obi and Luke continue on*

<Obi> See how powerful the Force is?

<Luke> Powerful? You nearly convinced them that they were the droids they were looking for, not the opposite! They didn’t even know they were looking for droids!

<Obi> But we got through, and that’s the important thing. *Pause* Look, a cantina!

<Luke> You have to be 21 to drink on Tatooine.

<Obi> Luke, I’m 21 three times already. But it doesn’t matter, it’s Tatooine. We’ve got a couple hours to kill...

<Luke> No we don’t. Hologram lady’s going to be terminated in two hours.

<Obi> Right...I need a drink to calm my nerves.