Talk:The Seventh Star (novella)

Ataru's Review
So, I finally got around to reading this, after having seen it lying around in Category:Novels. (I haunt that from time to time, looking for stories) A couple minor mechanics things: Chapter 8 has some confusion between Bolar and Balor. Furthermore, the correct spelling is Nautolan. In general, I thought the writing in Chapter 8 was a bit weaker, particularly the lack of a clean transition from Jali's and Tira's talking about the case to well&hellip;other things. I also had a hard time picturing the people and places in the story. The plot was interesting, the characters were well-conceived, realistic, and compelled me to read the story, but I really wished throughout the whole thing that there was more description. That, and a lack of internalization, seemed to be the weaknesses of The Seventh Star. I know that that sort of thing is stylistic, especially internalization, which if overdone can quickly bog a story down, but it's my belief that the novel would greatly benefit from a descriptive buff to help paint the picture, set the stage, and any other metaphors for description that one cares to toss out there. Thanks for the read. Atarumaster88  ( Talk page ) 16:35, 7 January 2009 (UTC)