Thread:Atarumaster88/@comment-29301-20171114184134/@comment-29301-20180102180816

Thank you very much, my good man. You've pointed out some of the weaknesses I was aware of already, but also some that had escaped my attention, which was mainly what I wanted.

Yes, I can get very purple at times. I think it's an attempt to get around the fact that I don't really know how to write a fight scene. Or I think I don't know.

I'm disappointed that Meetra's fall didn't come across as more believable; that was one of the only things that I had thought I got basically right, even in this hackneyed draft.

You sensed correctly that I was running out of steam toward the end of writing (a ragged state of mind which can only be understood, I think, by a fellow writer who has been in a similar situation), and the times devoted to each major villain that Meetra encounters are rather out of proportion. I enjoyed writing the scenes with Atris and Nihilus, because I felt I understood how to relate them to Meetra's character; whereas from start to end, Sion felt like a chore. Kreia was actually very fun to write. But aside from being tired of writing, I didn't think I'd be able to reproduce their whole entire conversation without it getting tedious (to read, I mean).

As it stands, aside from the benefit of your perceptiveness, I think reading your review and thinking afterward has me convinced, more than ever, that I shot myself in the foot with the very form of the story by having to cram my ideas into the events of the game. Having the main character plow through encounters with four antagonists basically back-to-back is not something I'd ever write in an original plot of my own - but that's what happens in TSL, and I was trying to write TSL, whereas my time would've been better spent writing something original (as I said in the Author's Complaint).

Anyway, again, thank you very much for the review. As reward, I shall endeavor to finish reading your Force Exile series sometime before my demise. So cheers.