Talk:Darth Vast

Mass deletion review
Here we go: Brandon Rhea  (talk) 04:40, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * General standards say that “Kaleesh” should come before “male”. Also, change “male” to “ male ” to produce a link.
 * that was born --> who was born.
 * “bloody conflict” - prosey. Remove “bloody”.
 * “He would be recognized” - just say “He was recognized”. The “would be” is awkward.
 * Remove the commas before and after Jedi Master.
 * “after his master’s death on Huk, he” - clarify who “he” is.
 * “he was brought to the dark side” - doesn’t make sense. You can’t be taken to the dark side as if you were a bag of groceries taken into a house. He “fell to the dark side”.
 * unknown --> unidentified
 * Link to Sith Lord in the first instance, not the second.
 * “wreaked havoc” - “havoc” is spelled wrong, and its prosey anyway. Just say “As a Sith Lord, Darth Vast embarked on a quest for revenge”. You should also clarify what or who he was trying to avenge.