DL:Battle of Gand

Approve

 * 1) Cleared by the Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  12:12, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Good, long intro. Meets requirements as far as I can tell. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 19:26, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Yes, with the complaints from below now fixed. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 22:31, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) Only 10 non-date links
 * 3) *I now count 21 non-date links. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 20:26, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) It seems to me that the aftermath and/or the legacy should be lengthened. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  22:00, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Aftermath and legacy expanded. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 00:04, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 7) * Context on Jerec and Vader's Fist (intro). Having a light blue link alone isn't good enough.
 * 8) * " along powerful infantry/mechanized infantry attack force" Reword.</s.
 * 9) * Change all instances of Clone troopers to "clone troopers" except at the beginning of a sentence.
 * 10) * "sparked a dark age, known by" Some POV/prosetry.
 * 11) * "It's Rebellion Time" Unencyclopediac (UE) section title, capitalization error.
 * 12) * "offered to help them if they were commanded by the two local Jedi" Who offered to help whom? Some unclear antecedents (UA) here.
 * 13) * "They were immediately met with heavy defensive fire," UA (see above)
 * 14) * "gaseous landscape" Reword. How do you have a gaseous landscape?
 * 15) * Ditto with Stormtrooper.
 * 16) * "an adequate Imperial strike force" Adequate is POV.
 * 17) * "warped in system" Uh . . . this isn't Star Trek. ;-)
 * 18) * Please decide between your usage of Boba and Fett. I prefer Fett. This does not include uses of "Boba Fett"; those are fine.
 * 19) * "The Stormtroopers managed to land a few good shots, but nothing they had done strengthened their in the city." POV/wording.
 * 20) * " with trooper cover fire" Reword.
 * 21) * "Blood runs red" Prosetry/UE in section title.
 * 22) * " grew larger and more deadly after each raid." POV/prosetry.
 * 23) * More context on LAAT please. And spell it out on first mention.
 * 24) * I dislike your excessive use of "taken out" or "taken care of". It's euphemistic and weaselly, as well as unimaginative. Please find a different phrase.
 * 25) * "Tragedy looms" POV/UE section title.
 * 26) * "Jir received the best transmission he had heard all day" POV.
 * 27) * "==Twilight turns Dark==" Prosetry/UE in section title. Yes, I am going to destroy that BtS note.
 * 28) * "followed the Force to his destiny on Gand. Prosetry.
 * 29) * 2nd and 3rd paras of "finding the survivors" are full of prosetry.
 * 30) *How does Vader learn the Jedi's name? Clarify. Rule 3.3
 * 31) * "it became clear that Vader was the better duelist, but his stamina paled in comparison to Blin's. " Some POV here.
 * 32) * " without mercy, not giving him a moment to strike. This maneuver seemed to be tiring out the young Jedi, so Vader decided to end this little duel quickly." Some prosetry here.
 * 33) * Any time you mention or call something a "dark side power", it's POV.
 * 34) * Though I've fixed all instances of this, the lightsaber form is Djem So, not "Djem Su"
 * 35) * "Benn tossed his lightsaber to his Master, and he was prepared to strike down the Dark Lord." UA.
 * 36) * Context needed on Jerec's arrival to the duel.
 * 37) * "cared physically or mentally" Should that be scarred?
 * 38) * "Seeing countless comrades die before your eyes took a massive toll on your sanity, and many other soldiers of the Empire turned to to distractions like drinking or spice to reduce the pain." Reword, tense, and second person
 * 39) * Decap "Defenses" in "Breaching the Defenses"
 * 40) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:22, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments

 * Just throwing it into the nominations, its been a GA for a month or so (maybe longer)... --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 19:10, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * @ Solus: For the links, are we counting all links, like the links in the infobox and the BtS section? There are at least three additional relevant links in those sections. Though that's still doesn't hit the 20 link requirement, I'll see if I can add any relevant links to the storyline or expand the legacy/aftermath. --  JM  76  Ask   Archives  [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|20px]] 00:39, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Any non-duplicated non-date in-SWF link counts. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  00:41, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

"Any time you mention or call something a "dark side power", it's POV."

- User:Atarumaster88

If I may say so, I find this statement to be inaccurate. A force power's connection to the dark or light side of the Force is not a point of view. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 17:25, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Replied on your talk page, but in essence, the followers of the Potentium, Grey Jedi, etc. would believe otherwise, making it inherently POV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:43, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Clarified, objection struck. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:22, 28 July 2008 (UTC)