Wasting the Day in Bedlam/3

Please note: These entries were transcribed from illegible handwriting and the bracketed words may or may not be correct.

First month, 7th day, 28 ABY

There was a fight on the housing unit, so I [came] out to protect myself. I stayed out of the fight, but I [illegible] remained vigilent [sic] [illegible] in case I needed to [act]. The C.O.s quelled the fight, though, so I was not involved.

No, I won’t be [illegible] involved. I met with Dr. Karastee and she told me to make sure to document every time I switch personalities. She talked about intergration [sic] therapy, in which my personalities would be combined into one. But first, I need to learn to better communicate with my other half. She refers to it as the “Uncanny One,” while she refers to me as the “Corellian.” The Corellian has no name, according to Karastee. She says that the Corellian (me) is the dominant of the two—the most [active] alter.

We fight sometimes. It’s like [another] train of thought, another voice in my head. He tells me to relax. He tells me to meditate. He’s told me to do that, told me how to [focus] my mind, and I can share his talents. Learned how to do that years ago.

Sometimes, when I was on a job, I heard things. Like on Circumtore. I could hear Gheeta’s* voice in my head. “Little creature, I am what you want to be; all mouth and gut and [hunger].” Heard that in my head.

I never became that. The galaxy is eat or be eaten. I was [eaten]. Just didn’t cut it. Should have stayed a Rebel. Being a Rebel didn’t pay. Credits [are] what makes the galaxy go around. Everyone knows that. I knew it. That’s why I was a bounty [hunter]. To rise to the top. I just didn’t cut it. So the galaxy ate me. [illegible] Now I’m in prison. [illegible] Insane. Dangerous to myself and others.

No. I should leave. Go back outside.

Meds making it [hard] to write. Can’t think. Time to go to sleep. [Need] to tell Karastee no shocks.

''*Please note: Gheeta was a Shell Hutt negotiator on Circumtore during the time that Zuckuss had worked with the Bounty Hunters’ Guild. —Dr. Gawynn Karastee''