DL:Sarus

Approve

 * 1) I can't find anything, darn it. Help me out, Ataru! - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:24, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Approved by the Desk. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:20, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I will support it now that the issues have been sorted out. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 22:22, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) No objections. I've read through this article at least once before, and I didn't find any problems this time either. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 17:34, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Disapprove/complaints

 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "that had been given from person to person for one hundred millennia and would continue to be done so for many millennia into the future." Some awkward wording here, especially with that second clause. The "to be done so" is particularly bad.
 * 3) * You mention something about him having men, but you never state how he got them. Some context would be lovely&mdash;is he some sort of leader?
 * 4) * Give a few words of context on the Shaman of the Wills in the bio.
 * 5) * Confusion with Ledo vs. Redo.
 * 6) * You'll need to contextify the Argus.
 * 7) * "Annikin asked who the person in a statue on the way in was" Reword this.
 * 8) * Context needed on the Rana Hama bit.
 * 9) * "Sarus was inherently mysterious to people." Clarify.
 * 10) * "Originally, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jard Dooku were going to find Annikin Skywalker in much the same way that they did." What huh?
 * 11) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments
I'll abstain from voting until any complaints that are brought up are addressed. Once they are, then I'll vote. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 15:58, 6 August 2008 (UTC)


 * Way to be a role model. -- Joe Butler (Obi Maul12)  (Chow) 21:22, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

Why thank you. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 22:22, 12 August 2008 (UTC)