Star Wars Fanon:Featured articles/Nominations

A Featured article is an article that represents the best that Star Wars Fanon has to offer. Out of articles on this wiki, less than fifty are currently Featured Articles. Articles that no longer meet the criteria can be proposed for improvement or removal by the Council of Seers. A Featured article is also an article that adheres to a certain standard of quality that is higher than the standard of quality for Good articles. In order to become a Featured article, an article must first be voted as a Star Wars Fanon Good article. It should be of a very detailed and of substantial length, long enough to promote every single detail about the subject, though short enough to where it does not become a hassle to read it or edit it.

For more information on what makes a featured article, see our Featured Article requirements.

Nomination
In order to be considered for Featured article status, an article must reach Good article status by being voted upon by the Council of Seers and the membership of Star Wars Fanon. Once an article has become a Good article, the author of the article must nominate the article for Featured article status on their own accord. The nominated template will also be added at the top of the Good articles that are nominated.

Voting
The Council of Seers, and they alone, will vote on each nomination. They will review by adding comments, critique, and feedback on the articles up for nomination. They will vote on whether or not the article is of Featured article quality, and once at least six of the ten members of the Council of Seers approve of the article, the article will become featured.

If for whatever reason the author(s) of a Featured article nominee become(s) inactive and the objections of the Council of Seers remain uncorrected, the article will be removed from the nominations list and moved to the list of rejected nominations. Once the author returns, they may re-nominate the article if they intend to correct the objections.

Approved articles
If an article is voted in by the Council of Seers, it will be added to the list of featured articles, the upcoming article queue, and to the history of featured articles.

Approve

 * 1) Good job. [[Image:NKsig.png|70px]] Jesus Freak NK says NK's 'mazin' articles [[Image:sabersmilygreend.jpg]] 18:03, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Resigned as a Decreton Lord, so he is not a member of the Council of Seers. Therefore, the vote is invalid. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 02:26, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) It's a good article, with promise, but I don't think it's FA material quite yet. There are a few things that can be done to make the article better. Here's a list of the most obvious things:
 * 2) * Remove the bullet points from the infobox; they're not needed.
 * 3) * In the infobox, add to the "Personal information" section, or hide it (insert hidep=yes).
 * 4) * Expand, or merge as appropriate, all sections with the possible exception of The Brotherhood of Darkness.
 * 5) * Expand Legacy, Personality and traits and Talents and abilities.
 * 6) * Put a bullet point in the BtS section, or remove it completely.
 * 7) * Fix the categorization.
 * 8) * Fix punctuation in the introduction.
 * 9) * Thats all I can find for the time being. Darth Abeonis Sith Council Sith Campaign 22:17, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Done and done [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] My page iChat What I've done 20:05, 25 March 2008 (UTC) 08:51, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) *Dangerously near Mary Sue.
 * 3) * None of the images are properly sourced. Solus  (Bird of Prey)  20:48, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Fixed the images, but I disagree with the first one. How do you believe it's a Mary Sue, and how do you believe I could rectify this? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 16:46, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Um...let's see how I can explain this.
 * 6) ***#Respect from a well-known canon character has potential for Mary Sue, unless handled right. Love from a well-known canon character automatically adds a whole lot of Mary Sue points - there are next to no exceptions of that rule of thumb.
 * 7) ***#Visiting well-known planets has potential for Mary Sue. Visiting a well-known planet that no one is supposed to have visited, that almost no one knows about, and doing something important there adds loads of MS points.
 * 8) ***#Having an army has potential for Mary Sue. Suddenly getting an army adds many MS points. Suddenly getting an army that can challenge a well-known government is an automatic MS point jackpot.
 * 9) ***#There are several other minor things, but that's the major stuff. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:58, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***#* I see. How would you propose I change this without actually screwing up the storyline and would you believe it to be too MS for the other DL's to support? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 17:02, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***#**I don't know, on either count. For the first, either somewhat of a rewrite or scrappage is in order, but I don't suggest the latter, the article has potential. As for the other DLs, how about you ask them? I can't speak for them all. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:05, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***#***I see. I'll wait to see what the other DL's think first. [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 17:11, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) I agree with Solus on what he's currently said about Mary Sue characteristics. This is my opposition until I read through this article again to see if it's up to standards in other regards. - President Brandon Rhea  [[Image:Presidentialseal.gif|27px]] (Pressroom) (Record) 16:44, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **I see. May I point out, however, that someone has to lead an army and there does have to be a leader? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 09:18, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) JM76's comments
 * 16) * The whole intro paragraph is very comma-abusive. Maybe its just personal preference, but the less commas, the better. Many of the long sentences could be easily split into smaller sentences.
 * 17) *The "Force" should always be capitalized.
 * 18) *"Merkory completed this mission with ease..." PoV
 * 19) *"It was estimated that Merkory slew one hundred and eleven Sith that day." By his lonesome? That's a bit of a stretch, considering you're fighting in close-quarters against armed and trained Sith warriors who could be using anything from lightsabers to heavy repeaters.
 * 20) *"Merkory was powerful and fought well, but the Sith Lord easily overpowered him..." easily is PoVish.
 * 21) *"Vires couldn't see his face beneath the armor, but, as the fight escalated, Eldorio managed to slice the face part of the armor off, revealing Merkory beneath." Might want to fix that, it seems to imply that Eldorio is wearing armor.
 * You'll also want to change "couldn't" to "could not". - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 02:26, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Very bare BtS. &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 02:22, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Those issues are solved. I'll do the BtS soon. --[[Image:Darth tom sig.png|100px]] (talk) (contributions) 08:55, 18 October 2008 (UTC)

Vote to reject nomination

 * 1) For the same reasons as the author's other featured article nomination, basically. Both articles were written when the author was new and inexperienced, and they both need drastic rewrites. I took a look at this article today, and there's no real point listing every objection. The author, as a Seer, knows what the featured article requirements are and if he looks at this article he will realize that it needs to go through a complete rewrite to conform to featured article standards. - Brandon Rhea (talk) (contribs) 00:58, 28 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Duh. --Victortalk 06:43, 28 November 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 07:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) From the screen of the Solusinator:
 * 2) Image:EsCape.jpg is not sourced properly.
 * 3) Personality is Mary Sue-ish. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  16:35, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Sorted out the first one, but no idea what you mean by the second. Mind elaborating? [[Image:Darthtomsig.png|163px]] iChat What I've done 09:19, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) JM76's comments
 * 6) * Bare BtS. Looks good besides that. &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 19:06, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Sorted that. Is it to your satisfaction? --[[Image:Darth tom sig.png|100px]] (talk) <font color="#000001">(contributions) 12:16, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Review…
 * 9) *Infobox: Remove the "birth/death" fields - it is completely redundant and useless to tell us "unknown". Also, why isn't her full name in the infobox?
 * 10) *Introduction: "Sela was born into a small but powerful southern clan"; POV in powerful, just remove it. "she was thrown out of this village"; Say 'that' as opposed to 'this', and always remember to stay in 3rd person as opposed to 1st or 2nd. The next sentence, just like the preceding one, starts with "Eventually"; that gets redundant, so think of another way to word it. "Eventually, Trom framed her"; A little context on what she was framed for would be helpful. Remember, encyclopedic articles aren't supposed to be mysterious and are supposed to be about facts. "to find another House of Light"; Pops out of nowhere because there is no context on why it's another House of Light. Give context or simply remove "another". "Sela was captured by Trom once more, but was able to escape. After escaping, She and Hath married." Just like that huh? Give some context (at least) on where she escaped from or something, otherwise, saying she was captured and then (immediately) escaped doesn't help the intro. "Finally, they realized that they couldn’t complete their quest and Sela, who by now had become pregnant, was instructed to go to Dantooine to give birth to their son by Hath, who revealed to her that he was really The Light." First off, run on sentence. Secondly, who are "they"? No context on who they are. So like I said, it's a run on sentence, so please break it up for clearer reading. "Danreb eventually killed her."; Please say "killed Sela Kerroro".
 * 11) *Judging from this so far, this won't be a pleasant review. I remember reviewing this a long time ago and this still has a bunch of errors, so I will fully review later. --Victortalk 23:12, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
Another one. -- iChat What I've done 08:27, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Will read this soon. Long article; looks like you did a good job with it. Drewton  ( Drewton's Holocron ) 01:14, 7 October 2008 (UTC)


 * I'm sure this wasn't your intention, but let's be sure not to say that just because an article is long it is therefore an article of quality. There are plenty of long articles on this wiki that are just absurd. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 02:28, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I'd looked over it and so hadn't based my opinion simply on length. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 02:37, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Vote to reject nomination


 * 1) I don't believe the author even looks at the objections or really cares or has time for this. The article is not close to featured standards and I do not feel like pointing out why, just glance at it yourself, or look at my brief objections above. Again, I vote to reject this nomination. --Victortalk 17:58, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 18:02, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I'm sick of this thing just sitting on the nomination page indefinitely. -MPK (MPK's Talk Page)|undefined 20:41, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) &mdash;  JM ' 76 ' Ask Archives [[Image:Sabersmilyjm76.jpg|18px]] 18:50, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Until the author begins serious attempts to rectify complaints. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  18:55, 27 November 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Yes.  Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 14:26, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Striking until Brandon's objections are adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 15:54, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) From the surrounded and embattled desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "Although the battle did not massively impact on the course of the war," POV.
 * 3) * "the Necasian Military had was in minor turmoil" Wording.
 * 4) * "Rich in resources, Kothlis was providing a stable supply of resources and was also a strategic point, being a potential staging ground for attack on key Srav worlds." Long and awkward sentence.
 * 5) * "radiation weaponry" This is awkward also.
 * 6) * Consistently decapitalize archipelago.
 * 7) * "Kurtev and Drakuv tanks mopped up," Mopped up what?
 * 8) * "A NHD-52577" Contextify this.
 * 9) * "group of Necasian swordfish hydrofoils " Capitalize?
 * 10) * "A few of the remaining Necasian divers managed to destroy a few more of" This overruse of "few" is annoying. Reword.
 * 11) * " but this time the Necasians were better dug in and prepared. " You state this at the end of every section, or so it seems. It's annoying, and doesn't help deter the notion that this article is written like a narration of a bloody strategy game.
 * 12) * Italicize class names of capital warships, like that frigate.
 * 13) * Remove the inane quotes. All of them. You know what I mean.
 * 14) * Will finish this later. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:22, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Addressed the above, save the radiation bombs. They're bombs that emit radiation, which is why they called so. Unit 8311 19:59, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Looks good otherwise mechanically. However, I'd like the Srav retreat cleared up and expanded&mdash;it's a major plot hole right now. You say it was hasty, but you also say that they did a lot of sabotage and stuff. If they're getting hit by a massive air attack, they shouldn't have the time for that. Also, how did they get back to their initial landing site under constant air attack? Was it a Highway of Death ala Kuwait 1991? Did they set up a new landing site?
 * 17) * The first paragraph of the BtS needs utterly redone. "Originally, it was meant to be little more than an average battle article, similar to others such as the Battle of Raxus Prime and other articles, before 8311 proposed that they should raise it to good article status, making it, if it was successful, the second Project Cruentus good and by extension featured article." Massive run-on. Refer to users by their full username.
 * 18) * " This reflected by the Srav strategy used in the article" Fragment/missing word.
 * 19) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:01, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) **Sorted the top one and to a lesser extent the bottom. Tom promised to get round to the BTS soon. Unit 8311 20:24, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) From the entirely overrun Resolute Desk of Brandon Rhea
 * 22) * Please use the Title template to display the title as "Battle of Kothlis".
 * 23) * The introduction is only 153 words long. That's 97 words short of what is required for Featured Article status.
 * 24) *As required by the Featured article requirements, all war and battle articles need a Legacy section. This article currently does not have one. Please take note that Aftermath sections and Legacy sections are two entirely different things.
 * 25) *The current state of the Behind the scenes section is obvious: it was written with a minimal amount of effort with the intention to "just get by", but it's not going to "just get by". There's too much information that you can expand upon. What constitutes an average battle article? Why did you propose to raise it to Good article standards and status? As a note, the section is now written as if the article is not yet a Good article. You’ll need to rewrite that to indicate that it is now officially the second Cruentus Good article. Carrying on, “major work” is POV, and you should be stating what type of work it was. How did you decide to split up the work? Who came up with the storyline? Why did you choose that particular storyline? Describe how Island hoping and Iowa Jima inspired this article. Why did Tom choose Requiem of a Dream as inspiration? What type of inspiration did it give him? How did it “help him a lot”. As for the final sentence, “merely” is POV. What type of written sources did Unit use as inspiration? Why did he choose not to use music unlike Tom who did? Why did you choose these written sources? How did they help you? You need to greatly expand upon this section using basically everything I said in this objection.
 * 26) *This is just a minor list for now. I have about two pages left in line-by-line editing for this, at which point I'll most more objections. Most of them also have to do with a lack of detail and explanation in certain areas. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 19:35, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) **Addressed the above. I've expanded the BTS, but tom will also be adding his part, so if you think it's still inadequate then don't worry. Unit 8311 20:13, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It's definitely still inadequate, but Tom told me on IRC just now that he would be expanding it more. As of right now, though, it's still a fairly "epic meh". You're also still short on the introduction. If you read the requirements, you'll see that it requires 250 words. We only required 200 in the old standards. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 20:15, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Damn, I should have paid more attention in maths lessons. Anyway, the intro problem is sorted now. Unit 8311 20:23, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Alright, I've struck that objection, but I added another one. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 20:28, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Again, tom asked to leave a legacy section to him. Unit 8311 20:24, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Leg section has been added. Unit 8311 (Talk) 20:07, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **BTS has been expanded to suffice. All current complaints addressed. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  18:30, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Per above. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  11:19, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Images are a bit small. That's my only complaint. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 01:18, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *Sorted that too. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  13:37, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Alright, here’s more of my review.
 * Introduction:
 * 1) *“Kothlis was rich in resources and also a strategically located point” – who was it strategic to?
 * 2) *“attempted to mount a solid defense” – what defines “solid”? Could be POV.
 * 3) *“For two days they held out” – poorly worded. First, who is “they”? Second, it’s just awkward wording. Change it to “They held out for two days”, and be sure to specify who “they” are.
 * 4) *“For two days they held out, fighting on land, sea, and air, with the Sravs gradually pushing forward along the Archipelago using island-hopping tactics, until the arrival of the Necasian fighter ace Renard Curl, who, along with accompanying reinforcements, turned the tide of the battle.” – kind of goes on and on and on. Split into two or more sentences (however many are needed, really).
 * 5) *“The Sravs were pushed into retreat by his onslaught, but much of the Necasian infrastructure in the archipelago was wrecked by them as they pushed back.” – few things in this. First, rather than “but”, you should use something more like “although”. Second, when you say “was wrecked by them”, it is unclear as to who the “them” are. Is it the Sravs or the Necasians?
 * 6) *“Although the battle was not considered to have been one that massively impacted the course of the war” – awkward wording. I’d suggest, “although the battle was not considered to have largely impacted the course of the war”.
 * Prelude:
 * 1) *What was the Skirmish in Ilatas? Context needed.
 * 2) *“Following the Skirmish in Ilatas, the Necasian military's upper circles were in turmoil, following the dissolution of the alliance with the Zayre and the panic over the Death's Tongue Militia spreading” – poorly worded, because of the “following” things. Change it to “Following the Skirmish in Ilatas, the dissolution of the alliance with the Zayre and the panic over the Death’s Tongue Militia spreading, the Necasian military’s upper circles were in turmoil”.
 * 3) *Also with that sentence, give context to every faction and event mentioned in it. Don’t assume we know what you’re talking about, because to most readers they are not going to know what those things are.
 * 4) *“Realizing that he had been somewhat over reliant on the Zayre” – again, context needed. I have no idea what this means, nor does a random reader. You also need to say who Askar is.
 * 5) *Like in the introduction, why was Kothlis a strategic point, and to whom was it strategic? Also, why did the Necasian commanders consider it a potential staging ground for an attack on key Srav worlds? Without knowing anything about their proximity, this could be confusing. I mean, for all we know, Kothlis is in the SarahPalinCanSeeRussiaFromHerHouse galaxy and the Srav worlds are hidden behind Mars.
 * 6) *“and the setup of several new NHD-52577 artillery platforms on each of the islands” – this is the first I’ve heard of any islands. Context, context, context!
 * 7) *Why did the Sravs have their eyes on Kothlis?
 * 8) *“decided that now was the time to attack” – now? Well, now is approximately 10:50am Eastern Standard Time on Friday, November 14, 2008. I think you know where I’m going with this.
 * 9) *“the top Srav commander” – top can mean many things. Does it mean he’s the best, or does it mean he’s the highest ranking? If it’s the former then it’s POV, and if it’s the latter then it needs to be clarified.
 * 10) *“instructing them to commence with their pre-planned sabotage, which they did” – take out the “which they did”. The carrying-out of the sabotage is covered in the following sentences.
 * 11) *What are the Necasian early-warning systems and how were they disabled? If these are the sensors talked about in the tropical storm part, specify that.
 * 12) *What in the SarahPalinCanSeeRussiaFromHerHouse galaxy is a Klasnost-class transport? Context!
 * 13) *“The Necasian early-warning systems were disabled, allowing a Srav fleet of Klasnost-class transports, positioned not far from the planet, to enter the atmosphere, aiming for a landing site on the lightly-defended southernmost island of the archipelago, in a large caldera” – break that up into at least two sentences. It runs on.
 * 14) *What’s the length of time between the first mention of the tropical storm and the time that the storm passes? It seems to imply that it’s very quick, but tropical storms last for quite awhile. This needs clarification.
 * 15) *More to come later. If the above is any indication, then there will be MUCH more to come. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 15:52, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Sorted that, but I don't think I need to explain what a Klasnost-class transport is. Any monkey can tell that it's a transport ship just from the name, and if they want more information they can just click on the link. Nonetheless, please continue. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  17:12, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * From “The Srav landings”:
 * 1) *Put a period at the end of the sentences in every image caption. Just because it’s in a caption doesn’t change the fact that it’s a sentence.
 * 2) *You say “as they descended”. Who are “they”?
 * 3) *Don’t just say “Klasnosts”. For example, if I was referring to the Delta-7 Aethersprite-class light interceptor, I wouldn’t just say “Aethersprite”.
 * 4) *“Using information gleaned from maps” - prosey. Also, when did they find these maps and how did they find them? Context please.
 * 5) *Speaking of context, you’re mentioning a lot of craft names and names of artillery and such. It’s especially important that you give context on these considering you’re not linking to them.
 * 6) *“By now, the remaining Necasians on the island were aware of the Srav invaders” - now is shortly after midnight on Sunday, November 16, 2008.
 * 7) *“The Sravs had the clear advantage: they were well-dug in, with good intelligence and superior firepower, but by now” - “clear advantage” is POV, “good intelligence” is POV, and “now” is shortly after midnight on Sunday, November 16, 2008.
 * 8) *More to come. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 05:15, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Sorted. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  10:47, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * From “The Necasian defence”:
 * 1) *Change “defence” to “defense” in the section title.
 * 2) *“who were by now well-entrenched” - again with the “now”.
 * 3) *“did little damage” - poor wording. Change it to “caused little damage”.
 * 4) *“In response, Vlad directed” - this is more personal preference, but because this isn’t an article about a character you should be using last names rather than first names.
 * 5) *“Remembering his orders to keep...” - when were these orders given?
 * 6) *“from simply bombarding” - I see what you’re getting at, but it’s borderline POV.
 * 7) *“which by now was ready” - again with the “now”.
 * 8) *“Desperately trying to stop it” - POV.
 * 9) *The sentence beginning with “desperately trying to stop it” and ending with “landing force took them out” is a borderline run-on sentence. I suggest breaking it up into two.
 * 10) *“stubborn Necasian resistance” - POV.
 * 11) *“sheer size of the landing force” - prosey.
 * 12) *“but soon mortar fire from Zabas and the sheer size of the landing force mad sure that the resistance at the beach was cleared out soon” - soon, I suggest you soon find a better word than soon, or else soon you’ll find yourself being redundant soon.
 * 13) *“which they had to take intact” - why?
 * 14) *“which bogged down his tank” - borderline prosey.
 * 15) *“Natural hazards and Necaisn booby traps” - Necasian is spelled wrong, and you need to say what these hazards and traps are.
 * 16) *“their incessant bites” - prosey.
 * 17) *“Despite these obstacles, however” - the “however” is redundant.
 * 18) *“Now in control of the second island” - again with the “now”.
 * 19) *“By now, however” - again with the “now”. I sense a pattern.
 * 20) *“Askar was planning counterattacks and contingency plans” - poorly worded. For example, if you take out the “counterattacks” part, it would read “planning contingency plans”. Reword it to say something to the effect of, “was planning counterattacks and drafting contingency plans”.
 * 21) *“determined to let the Sravs proceed no further” - poor wording. Change it to “determined to not let the Sravs proceed any further”.
 * 22) *More to come. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 16:56, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Done. However, I don't see a problem with the use of 'now' as in 'now at so-and-so place', as it still suits a past tense. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  18:16, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't find it appropriate for an encyclopedic entry about something that happened in the past. It's more appropriate for a narrative. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 21:37, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * From “The underwater battle”:
 * 1) *What’s a limpet mine? I ask this because if it was just mines then it wouldn’t matter, but by making it specific you need to give context on it.
 * 2) *How do Geiger sensors work? Context.
 * 3) *“lurking in the coral reef” - nothing really wrong with it, but “lurking” seems to be a bit prosey. Perhaps change it to “hiding”? This is more personal preference, so feel free to disregard it.
 * 4) *I would recommend changing all instances of “subs” to “submarines” just to be more encyclopedic. “Subs” sounds more like a narrative or conversation type thing.
 * 5) *“the divers used stealth” - stealth what? Tactics? Devices? Pancakes? Context on what the stealth was and how it was utilized, please.
 * 6) *What types of anti-submarine countermeasures did the Necasians deploy? If this is the stuff that was mentioned in the previous paragraph then disregard this. I don’t remember what side was what.
 * 7) *“the Srav divers surprised their Necasian counterparts, attacking them with harpoon guns” - I’d suggesting changing that to “counterparts by attacking them” just for clarification purposes. The way it’s written now makes it so that it could be interpreted as they surprised them and THEN attacked them, whereas you seem to actually be saying that the harpoon guns were how they surprised them.
 * 8) *Caveat: never bring a knife to a gun fight. Doesn’t turn out too well.
 * 9) *“Nevertheless, they were soon finding themselves being scattered” - awkward wording. Change it to “Nevertheless, they found themselves becoming scattered”. Reads much better that way.
 * 10) *“torpedoing the parts of the reef where they were hiding” - in a sentence like this, you can’t say “they”, as it could be confusing to figure out who “they” is. Specify who “they” are.
 * 11) *“several more of the subs” - awkward wording. Change to “several more subs”.
 * 12) *“finally driven away or killed” - a bit of context on how this happened.
 * 13) *Sortie is definitely prosey. Change it to something else.
 * 14) *“although nevertheless the Srav underwater presence was crippled” - poor wording. Lose the “nevertheless”.
 * 15) *“he felt that the sub numbers had been reduced sufficiently to his Razorshark boats to commence depth charging” - this sentence confuses me. I’d suggest how you should rewrite it, but I really don’t know what it means. I also have no idea what depth charging is, so context on that is needed.
 * From “Beach combat”:
 * 1) *The transition from the last section to this section is pretty bad. You just got off of underwater battles, not you’re thrusting the reader into land battles without any proper transition.
 * 2) *What’s a swordfish hydrofoil?
 * 3) *“the remaining hiding Srav subs” - poor wording. Change it to “the remainder of the Srav subs that were in hiding”.
 * 4) *“A few Drapeznik gunships moved to engage” - clarification on what they were engaging.
 * 5) *Vlad losing patience seems irrelevant. You can start that sentence with “Depite Boras’s reservations, the [whatever the faction is] went ahead”. Also, why the next island? I don’t remember the first paragraph saying anything about taking the first island or clearing it out.
 * 6) *“the island after the next one” - poor wording. Say “the island that followed” or something like that.
 * 7) *The sentence starting with “Both the Sravs and Necasians knew” and ending with “over with impunity” is far too long. Start a new sentence at “Askar knew that if said”. Also, I don’t even know what impunity means, so a new word should be used. Seems too prosey.
 * 8) *Why the order to fight to the death, and why weren’t the troops happy about that? Soldiers always vow to fight to the death. Also, it should be “too happily”, not “to happily”.
 * 9) *What are the Zabas, again? Quite frankly, these specific names are getting WAY too confusing to follow. It’s up to you, but I think you should just stick to using things like “gunships” and “submarines” rather than specific names. If not, then (and this is NOT personal preference but something I will require) you should be saying “[specific name] gunship” and what not. I wouldn’t want someone to say “and TIEs began moving across the surface of the Death Star to attack the rebel forces”.
 * 10) *Nuclear-tipped air-ground missiles? Bull. It would destroy them all.
 * 11) *Parentheses used to show what an acronym is looks horrible. Change it to something like “Srav surface-air missiles, also called SAMs”.
 * 12) *What does “flak” mean? You keep using these military terms without giving any sort of context as to what they actually mean.
 * 13) *“the Necasian defense was much stronger” - POV without clarification.
 * 14) *What’s a pillbox?
 * 15) *Why were the Necasians soon overwhelemed?
 * 16) *“much to Askar’s anger” - I really don’t see why emotions are relevant.
 * 17) *The third paragraph of this section is pretty big. Try cutting it into two or more.
 * From “Jungle warfare”:
 * 1) *“the jungle covering most of the island” - for clarification purposes, change this to “the jungle that covered most of the island”.
 * 2) *In one sentence, you say “both Necasian and natural” and in the next you say “both explosive and shrapnel”. That wording gets repetitive that close together, so I suggest rewording one of them.
 * 3) *“had also hid” - should be “had also hidden”.
 * 4) *“being cut down to NWD-JR5 heavy machineguns” - I think you mean “cut down by”.
 * 5) *Once again, we have a run on. The sentence starting with “Boras, who was in charge” and ending with “most of the air support” should be broken up.
 * 6) *“Boras had his tanks, in response to this” - “in response to this” should come first.
 * 7) *I see what you’re going for, but “their progress was difficult” is borderline POV.
 * 8) *“foul” and “lurked” are kinda prosey.
 * 9) *Why did Askar refuse the evacuation request?
 * 10) *I’m sorry, but I don’t really find soldiers putting in a half-assed effort in a war to be believable in this regard.
 * 11) *Get rid of the “now” in “Now, the Sravs were” and “it was now late evening”.
 * 12) *Change “this break in fighting, consolidating their” to “this break in fighting to consolidate their”.
 * 13) *So Askar just forms a naval blockade without ANY attempt to stop it?
 * 14) *“useless bits of metal” - one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and clearly it’s not useless if he can use it as ammo. POV.
 * 15) *If the Necasian troops knew what Askar was doing and they knew that the enemy forces were not firing back, I really don’t think this would have traumatized them.
 * 16) *Makeshift earplugs would, at best, only dilute the sound, not drown it out completely. It would still have the same effect on the enemy, regardless of how loud the noise was, because they would still know that someone was firing on them.
 * 17) *More later. I have to give myself a break from this, because it’s pretty disappointing. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 03:16, 28 November 2008 (UTC)
 * From “The final push”:
 * 1) *“concocting” is a poor choice of words. That’s more appropriate if someone is putting together some sort of stupid scheme. “Devising” would be a better choice.
 * 2) *“(with actual shells this time)” - either find a way to actually add that into the sentence or get rid of it.
 * 3) *Why did Askar feel that his blockade would neutralize the airpower and missiles?
 * 4) *“Basic” is borderline POV, and “just to be sure” of what?
 * 5) *You have two sentences that start out with “had also”. Change one.
 * 6) *Considering items are not in infinite supply during wars, I doubt there were “countless” machinegun nests, etc. Find a better word.
 * 7) *We already know that morale is low. You don’t need to keep repeating that.
 * 8) *“clear” in reference to the numerical advantage could potentially be POV.
 * 9) *What is “cutlery”? Now obviously I know what it is, but when choosing words you should do it as if your readers are idiots.
 * 10) *I don’t think saying “the safety of the jungle” is an appropriate thing to say considering you’ve mentioned the hazards in the jungle more than once. I know what you’re getting at, but it’s still a bit of a contradiction.
 * 11) *Vlad prioritized speed over...what, exactly?
 * 12) *The sentence beginning with “Although a combination of” and ending with “to clear out any mines” is a blatant run-on.
 * 13) *Is it really relevant to say that Askar was panicking? I think you could just say “The Sravs began advancing” and then continuing with the sentence. As a note, this would force you to specify who “he” is in “He had consolidated”.
 * 14) *“which was now being overrun” - again with the “now”.
 * 15) *Askar’s horror also doesn’t seem relevant. This is a battle article, not a character article. The same with his shell-shock a bit later.
 * 16) *Have you mentioned Elthior IVs before? If not, I have absolutely no idea why it would give him hope, because there is no context as to what it is.
 * From “Renard turns the tide”:
 * 1) *You have another run on in the sentence starting with “Fortunately for the Necasians” and ending with “such as the Zayre”.
 * 2) *You don’t need to introduce Curl as “Renard Curl” twice in two back-to-back sentences.
 * 3) *What’s a basic Srav guard? Are there un-basic ones?
 * 4) *What’s a Renard slipstream maneuver? And calling it effective is POV.
 * 5) *You use “in the eyes of Curl” twice to avoid POV. Try using another choice of words for one of them.
 * 6) *”being neutralized now” - bad wording, along wit the rest of the sentence. Change to “With the threat of the missile launchers attacking the base having been neutralized, the encampment was able to hold off the siege until Curl arrived.
 * 7) *“alerting Askar Invado” - he’s already been shown in this article. There’s no need to fully introduce him again.
 * 8) *“tried to call in airlift to extract them” - airlift should be plural.
 * 9) *“impunity” should, again, be replaced with another word.
 * 10) *Why did the Sravs begin killing themselves? Is that their culture? Were they avoiding a certain execution from the Necasians?
 * 11) *“or had been taken out” - this should be clarified. It’s likely that you mean killed, but it could be confusing since you were talking about airlifting a few sentences earlier.
 * From “Aftermath”:
 * 1) *“Half their facilities” - should be “Half of their facilities”.
 * 2) *How did Askar make sure that news reports paint him as the one who won the battle? “Glorified” is also POV unless you say something like “attempted to glorify”.
 * 3) *“As for the Sravs” sounds too encyclopedic. It instantly makes me thing “And as for YOU, pal”, which is informal. You could say something like “Within the Srav hierarchy, Vlad was held” and then go on from there.
 * 4) *“damning logistical and propaganda defeat” is a BLATANT infraction of POV.
 * 5) *Why did they decide it was not worth launching another attack?
 * 6) *What sorts of genetic mutations were there, and why would they baffle the Republic later? Also, there is no context as to what the Galactic Republic is.
 * 7) *Change the next sentence to read “The Necasian base would also eventually be abandoned”. Why would the iron dust stuff baffle visitors? Also, choose another word for “baffle” in the second instance just so you’re not redundant.
 * From “Legacy”:
 * 1) *“The follow on for the battle” - what’s a follow on?
 * 2) *“firing new battles against the Necasians” - how do you fire battles?
 * 3) *De-link the DTM, as it was linked to in the Prelude.
 * 4) *“were needed to be bought” - poor wording. Either change it to “were need to replace those lost” or “needed to be purchased to replace those lost”.
 * 5) *In the same sentence, you say “felt they” twice. It gets redundant, so choose another choice of words.
 * 6) *It’s demoralized, not demoralised. It’s probably the latter in your neck of the woods, but remember that we use the American version of English here.
 * 7) *How did the Srav leaders attempt to combat the demoralization?
 * 8) *Not only does part of the sentence starting with “In turn” and ending with “Necasian control” make no sense, but it’s another run on sentence. You also link to Askar and state his full name again, both of which are unnecessary as they have both been done earlier in the article.
 * 9) *I thought the natural resources of Kothlis were damaged. How did the Necasians harness then? Also, check for a contraction in that sentence, and an instance of “new buys” which doesn’t make any sense.
 * 10) *I find it hard to believe that the Necasian damages didn’t result in a loss of economic gains like what happened to the Sravs. You’re going to need to specify why there is a difference here.
 * 11) *“on Kothlis weren’t” - another contraction.
 * 12) *“A single species of primate kind” is too wordy, as it can be changed to “A single primate species”. The same sentence has ANOTHER contraction.
 * 13) *“in the Necasian battle report or the Srav report either” - poor wording. Change to “in either the Necasian or Srav battle reports”.
 * 14) *How in the name of SarahPalinCanSeeRussiaFromHerHouse Galaxy can loud explosions cause a species to go extinct? Noise doesn’t kill off entire species.
 * 15) *“it was reported that the hate” - should be “hatred”.
 * 16) *“battles didn’t need” - once again, ladies and gentlemen, a contraction.
 * 17) *Give context on why the galaxy hated the war.
 * From “Behind the scenes”:
 * 1) *“Although Darth tom felt that it was quality and not quantity that made an article” - you have no idea how ironic I find that statement to be.
 * 2) *“and wasn't working for the status” - honey, quick, I think the baby’s coming because I’m having CONTRACTIONS.
 * 3) *“better article all around” - it’s all around, but even then that’s pretty informal for an encyclopedic entry.
 * 4) *A little context on the WW2 island hopping and what the Battle of Iwo Jima was could go a long way.
 * 5) *In what is an obvious trend in this article, the sentence starting with “The parts written by Darth tom” and ending with “in the mind of Darth tom” is a run on sentence.
 * Final comments:
 * 1) *Sorry to be blunt, but this was incredibly painful to review. I was very disappointed in this article, but I guess I just expected more out of two Seers. The quotes, as per usual, are pretty bad, but those aren’t against featured article requirements. If you fix up this stuff I will vote for the article. I had considered just voting for it when it was nominated rather than LBLing it, so I’m glad I didn’t. This would’ve been an FA disaster. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 05:10, 28 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
Second PC FAN. -- <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contributions) 20:04, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) From the Hitleresque Desk of Unit 8311:
 * 2) *'and was able to create one of the most powerful military forces the galaxy had ever seen'...to 'what was considered to be one of the most powerful'
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *I consider the art scuplture thing to be somewhat eyebrow-raising, as I can only imagine someone with extreme emotional problems running away from home because they messed up an art piece. However, I'll let it pass.
 * 2) *'Cos had average aim'...add 'compared to the other soldiers', just to be safe
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'ministers took in turning the Republic into a reich of sorts.'...I'm not sure if reich is a good word, as I doubt the German language exists in SW. 'fascist dictatorship' might be better.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'Cos ruled the galaxy ruthlessly'...to 'was considered a ruthless leader'
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'Another three years passed, when Imperial intelligence informed Cos that the Rebellion had relocated to a planet in the Outer Rim.'...change 'when' to 'then'. Looks better gramatically.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'Though, Jerjerrod was no Tarkin, and the station was not being completed on schedule'...'Jerjerrod was not considered as effecient as Tarkin' might be better.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'However, Cos' plan failed' add an extra 's' after Cos'
 * 2) *'Darth Vader was growing angry with Cos's poor military leadership of the Galactic Civil War'...'with what he considered to be Cos's poor military leadership'
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'Cos's cruelty and evil was known by nearly all after his death', whoah, big POV here. Rewrite this sentence.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:28, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *'Talents' section has some POV that you should easily spot and change. I can highlight it all for you if that's not the case, though.
 * Please highlight them.  Wing   msg 02:14, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *In the end, though I'm not fond of rewritten canon characters, I can see this article being an FA. The above stuff I listed shouldn't be too difficult to sort. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  16:20, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the politically re-imagined Resolute Desk of Brandon Rhea
 * 3) *I first want to mention that I made these objections nearly two months ago before the first nomination was rejected. They should have been taken care of before you nominated this again. But because they were not, here they are again.
 * 4) *Throughout the article, you repeat “Cos” over and over when saying things that Cos has done. I would suggest you find other words than “Cos” to say this, because although this is meant to be encyclopedic prose it could still read a little better in this regard.
 * On the topic of prose, I’ve removed a lot of the colorful prose that is best saved for a narrative piece rather than an encyclopedic article. I’ve also removed all instances of POV that I found when reading.
 * 1) *I’m not quite sure what I think about the surrender of the Mandalorians. Mandalorians will typically fight until the last man or until it’s clear that they absolutely cannot win. I don’t see how the loss of their capital world would do that based on the information you’ve given. It just doesn’t seem very honorable. I know this is an alternate take on the Star Wars film era, but you haven’t established that the Mandalorians in your fanon are any different than those in canon.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 21:51, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *I have a hard time believing that everyone in the court would just rally around Cos’s speech, including the judges. There’s always people who will disagree. However, I was glad that even with this he was still sentenced to prison.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 21:51, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *On the note of prison, nine months is a bit too early for parole on a five year sentence, don’t you think? It’s generally longer than that, I believe, especially if the crime is treason and conspiracy.
 * The six judges gave him a parole of nine months, believing in his ideals. They were the first of many government officials for Cos to sway into his cloud of lies.  Wing   msg 21:51, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *I have a big problem with the part where he becomes Senator of Corell, and it’s mostly due to a startling lack of detail. First, why was he given parole? As for the election, why did the people vote in favor of him? How did he run his campaign? What was the competition like in the primaries? Who was his opponent? What was he/she like to run against? Was the race a landslide or was it a close race? What were the major issues of the campaign? What was Cos’s focus in the campaign (aka, like McCain’s “Country First” or Obama’s “Change We Can Believe In”)? As for his inauguration, the Governor didn’t do anything to try to prevent Cos from being elected and then inaugurated? The Governor didn’t make a public spectacle about how Cos shouldn’t be inaugurated? I don’t know about you, but I’d have a hard time inaugurating someone who tried to kill me.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 21:51, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *In the first paragraph of the Clone Wars section alone, there is a total lack of context and detail in terms of major events. What was the Mandalorian threat? What type of intelligence did they receive to suggest that the Mandalorians were a threat to them again? Why did Cos vote to go to war? What evidence did he have to suggest that there should be a war against the Mandalorians? What type of measures did the Senate take to build up an army? Where did this clone army come from? Finally, after answering all of this, why did the Senate finally agree to declare war?
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:12, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Once again, there is a total lack of detail in terms of the election, this time for Supreme Chancellor. First, who was the sitting Supreme Chancellor? How did he run his campaign? Was the race a landslide or was it a close race? What were the major issues of the campaign? What was Cos’s focus in the campaign (aka, like McCain’s “Country First” or Obama’s “Change We Can Believe In”)? What was the focus of his two opponents? There needs to be a lot more detail here.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:12, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *You say that Cos pleaded for “more” emergency powers? When did he receive emergency powers in the first place? Remember, emergency powers are not inherent in the position of a government executive like this, so you need to address how he first got them.
 * Sorry, that was a typo. Fixed.  Wing   msg 02:12, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *After spending so much time stating how Cos was always so big on ensuring the best things possible for the Republic, I’m concerned with the lack of detail on why he would prolong the war and why he wanted more emergency powers.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:12, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *You ended one sentence saying that many more Republic worlds were captured, but began the next one by saying that it appeared the Republic would win without explaining the turn of events. I don’t see how you can jump a year and a half between two sentences. Surely important things must have happened then?
 * Done.  Wing   msg 02:12, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Get rid of the "Styles of Address" section. It's totally irrelevant.
 * Done.  Wing   msg 23:02, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *More will come later. As it stands, while I’m intrigued by the storyline, this is nowhere near Featured article quality. There are too many points of detail lacking throughout the article, as evident above, and I just don’t think it’s very well written. The prose is very shaky and unengaging. It’s hard to explain, but I think you need to steer clear of some of the parts that are more suited for a narrative and just make the prose a bit more compelling. I mentioned the thing above about how you should find another way to refer to Cos than just “Cos”, but also the sentence structure and grammar also needs a lot of improvement. This may need a total rewrite, though I haven’t finished it yet so it may not need a total one. We’ll see how the rest is once you get to these. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 18:27, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
Alright, I am ready for this to be critiqued for Featured Article status.  Wing   msg 14:32, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Done with Unit's, will do Bac's complaints soon.  Wing   msg 15:09, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

Fixed all of Bac's complaints.  Wing   msg 02:14, 30 October 2008 (UTC)


 * I'll take a look at your corrections tomorrow. On another note, if you're going to put "done" or whatever underneath every objection, please properly format the indentation of your comments. I shouldn't have to do that for you. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 02:28, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Oops, sorry.  Wing   msg 02:35, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Fixed some more tweaks yesterday.  Wing   msg 22:12, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Can I get some more feedback, please?  Wing   msg 17:23, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) Good job with this. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 20:12, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) From the unleashed desk of Drewton:
 * 2) * It's better to use quotation marks rather than the ' symbols for quotes in prose.
 * 3) *"The Death's Tongue Militia placed minimal forces on the planet, and instead goaded the local population into fighting for them, and laid many traps for the Necasians and Sravs." "And" is used twice here.
 * 4) *The image spreading/layout isn't great. You have a lot of images in one spot and then none at all in another. Images could also be slightly larger.
 * 5) *"Although Askar had no interest in the planet of Tahu itself, he didn't" Contractions are unencyclopedic.
 * 6) *"The Necasians, originally being two days march" Add "a" before "two days march".
 * 7) *"The Necasians were the first ones to reach the city, despite the setbacks they'd received" Another contraction.
 * 8) *"Realise" is spelled "realize".
 * 9) *"and such an epidemic wouldn't be seen on Tahu again until" Another contraction. Destroy it.
 * Overall, it's well written, with only a few minor mistakes. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 17:47, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Sorted. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  20:04, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) * "With the base in ruins, both sides felt they had dealt a heavy blow to the Death's Tongue Militia. (which they had not)." Looks unprofessional; the words in parantheses should be moved into the main sentence. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 20:08, 25 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

 * Awaiting any objections. Unit 8311 [[Image:1110 Big small.jpg|20px]] Talk!  19:45, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Started reviewing this. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 23:23, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Approve

 * 1) I feel that, based on the reviews in the good article nominations, that this is of featured article quality. We also certainly need additional featured articles. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 17:51, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Objections

 * 1) From Drewton's holocron:
 * 2) *The second paragraph is written slightly too much in in-universe style, and synopsis should be written in present tense. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 17:57, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
 * While present tense is more appropriate, to be fair there is no rule that says it must be. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) <font color="#1A2BBB">(contribs) 18:00, 26 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Indeed, but it is the standard in all OOU articles on both Wookieepedia and Wikipedia. Call it personal preference if you want, but I don't think this is suitable for a featured article. Though I will leave this as optional to the author, due to there being no rule against it. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 18:03, 26 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
I have to admit, I was not planning on nominating this for Featured Article. However, some feel it to be of potential FA quality, so I'll have to talk this over with Ryluk next time he gets online. --  Tesh  162  18:29, 26 November 2008 (UTC)