Revenge of the Jedi/Part 22

"Be safe, Amaani," Cesylee said.

"If the Force wills it," Amaani replied. It was one of the things Cesylee liked about him—he did not make pledges on which he could not deliver, even small ones. She hugged him and kissed his cheek, then left him to Kaelora.

Gaebrean had shaken hands with Drake Paddox, who was on his way to the luxury ship that would ferry them back to Pelagar, and now he leaned against one of Inimă Eserzennae's soaring trees; the canopy and cloud cover shadowed him, but the silk and satin of his clothing gleamed enough in the ambient light from the manor that Cesylee could have found him even without the Force. She laid a hand on his chest and tried for a smile. "Are you sure about this, Gaeb?"

"'Course I'm sure," he said, looking offended by the very question in that lofty way he did when he was concealing some more profound emotion. "I should be asking the same of you."

It was not an unfair question, Cesylee knew. The way Tirien and Raven had initially proposed the mission, she had thought it one of the few viable ways the Tapani Jedi could protect their home and the people who had been entrusted to their care. She had not been swayed by her father's bellicose blustering or Kaelora's calmer doubts, but when she had taken the time for meditation, she had seen the truth.

"I can't," she said. "And you shouldn't either."

"Don't tell me you think Kae…"

He trailed off, looking toward Kaelora and Amaani, who were arguing too low to be heard; Gaebrean's face twisted with anger. Cesylee reached up to smooth the frown lines off his face with her fingertips. When he sighed, she said, "What Kaelora said to you—and about Zaella—was wrong; I told her so, and so did Amaani. But the point she was making wasn't, Gaeb."

"How many people have to tell you she's a former Sith?"

Cesylee shook her head. "That's not the point. She's not on trial for what she has or hasn't done—not for me, at least.  I worry about what she will do, after a lifetime of the dark side, and with her life in danger.  Tirien, Yan, and Raven speak about justice, but justice can so easily become revenge.  For a mission like this to succeed, it has to be born from pure light; introduce the dark side, and the whole enterprise will be tainted."

"We can defeat Gasald," Gaebrean insisted.

"At what cost?" He looked away in annoyance, but Cesylee laid a hand on his cheek and guided his eyes back to hers. "Would you risk so many Jedi falling—not to death, but to darkness? Can you imagine what powers like Raven's could do if he was turned to evil?"

"We're not going to fall," Gaebrean promised. "And we're not going to fail, either! We're going to kill Gasald, and when we come home again, I'll expect a round of profuse apologies for doubting us.  Don't worry, though, I'll make Kae go first."

He tipped her a wink and gave her a roguish smile, and Cesylee tried to smile back for him, but her heart was not in it. She had not reached him, she could sense it; she would not reach him. All she could do was find the words to guide his spirit toward the right path, as she had once encouraged him when they were children. But as she sought the words, Kaelora appeared beside them.

Most observers might have called Kaelora's expression anger, Cesylee thought; it was only those close to her who would recognize her grief. "Don't do this, Gaebrean."

Gaebrean raised an eyebrow. "After steadfast Amaani refused to break his pledge, and you didn't even try to sway Kobold Baliss, do you think I'd be more mercurial—that I'd abandon my brother and sister Jedi in their hour of need and peril? You wound me, Kaelora; you pierce me through."

Kaelora slapped him. Cesylee seized her shoulder and said, "That was not a very Jedi thing to do, Kae."

Kaelora ignored her. "This isn't a game, Gaebrean. Three men I love are following a pair of rogue Jedi and a former Sith to their deaths.  And when you fail, Gasald's eye will fall on this sector, and all our people—the people you're supposed to protect—will suffer for your pride."

Gaebrean touched his cheek with two fingers and raised an eyebrow. "Your vote of confidence is overwhelming, big sister."

Kaelora gritted her teeth, and Cesylee felt the muscles tensed under her hand. She squeezed and warned, "Kaelora."

Kaelora shook her head, she had clenched her jaw so hard her whole head trembled until she spoke. "My cousin. My only brother.  The man I'm supposed to marry.  You all would take all of that from me, and for what?  Because the Republic Jedi want vengeance, and Gaebrean wants to be a hero, and Amaani's too stubborn or too stupid to see past his father?"

"Granted, Kaelora won't go with them to aid and protect them, because…" Gaebrean tapped his chin just above the point of his beard as he feigned deep contemplation. "…because…don't tell me, let me get it…I'm sure it'll come to me…"

"Because it's reckless and courting the dark side!"

"Ah, blast it, I would've gotten there eventually! But anyway, it's also possible it's the right thing to do," Gaebrean suggested. "Food for thought, should you find you have the appetite."

Kaelora turned away in disgust and started toward the yacht; Gaebrean called after her, "Love you too!"

She stopped, and Cesylee tried to will her to the right course, emanating warmth and compassion into the Force. Kaelora sighed and half-turned to say, "I love you, Gaeb. May the Force be with you."

Gaebrean watched her walk away, and Cesylee saw the shadow that fell on his spirit. She touched his cheek again, and he gave her that fake smile he always thought could deceive her. "She'll come around. I'd've said I'll start the post-victory apologies with Dad, but you know I could throw him in the ocean and he'd insist he was dry just to spite me…"

"He loves you, Gaeb. We all do."

"There's still time to change your mind…" he hinted.

Cesylee sighed and hugged him. As he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, she asked, "Are you afraid?"

He drew a breath to reply at once, and Cesylee dug her nails into his back a little. Amaani had returned to the manor, and Raven and Raina had said their goodbyes inside; with Kaelora aboard the ship, Cesylee and Gaebrean were left alone beneath the trees. After a moment Gaebrean sighed and rested his head against hers. "Yes. A little."

"Of what?"

"Raven…well, he's another class of Jedi than I am, isn't he? Been out there, fighting the Sith, doing all his heroic things.  And to hear him tell it, Tirien's another step up past that.  And both of them seem to think they're not coming back from this.  Bit of a rough outlook for the rest of us, then, you see?  Wish Raina was coming…"

Cesylee took no offense that, when he opened his true heart to her, it was Raina he wanted to join them, not herself or Kaelora. All the Jedi Masters of the Great Council had approved her Knighthood, and Cesylee worked daily to deepen her understanding of the Force, but in her heart, she knew what Gaebrean did—Raina, like Raven, was a greater Jedi than she might ever be. With so many people she loved at stake, part of Cesylee wished Raina was going too, though another could not stand the thought of another loved one within reach of Vedya Gasald's claws. And she knew she could not ask of Raina something she felt wrong for herself.

"Focus on the light while you prepare. No tactics will bring you victory without it."

"Of course! I'd be a rather shoddy Jedi if I didn't, wouldn't I?"

She squeezed him again. "Promise me."

He pressed her back gently, then kissed her forehead and offered her a genuine smile. "I promise."

"Be safe, little brother," Cesylee said, and she managed a smile for him too. "Don't kill all the Sith before the others get a chance, it's unsporting."

The twinkle in Gaebrean's eyes as he grinned had melted the hearts so many women than Kaelora and Cesylee had stopped keeping count, but Cesylee loved to see it anyway—that gleam of happiness from her brother. The idea of never seeing it again squeezed breath from her lungs, and she could say no more; she kissed Gaebrean's cheek and stepped away.

Drake Paddox had taken a seat in the yacht's cockpit to learn more about piloting, so Cesylee and Kaelora had the compact but well-appointed passenger compartment to themselves. Cesylee blinked against the bright, off-white shades; the soft lighting was blinding after the dark of the island lawn. She saw her sister in one of the cushioned acceleration chairs, arms locked across her chest and muscles tensed in her jaw. She would not want to talk, Cesylee knew; some fears worsened when they were spoken.

Cesylee took the neighboring seat and set her hand on the armrest between them, palm up, and waited. It took until the yacht had lifted off and accelerated, the cabin lights dimming so they could see the waves below, but in the end Kaelora took her hand.