Forum:Ussej Padric Bac Novel REWRITE



After re-reading my second draft (the one already posted here) of Shadows of the Jedi: The Legend of Ussej Padric Bac and then re-reading the criticisms made by Atarumaster88, I realized they were completely right. Therefore, I have decided to go back and work on a third and hopefully final draft of the novel. My main goals here are to add more detail, improve characterization, greatly improve the characters of Ussej and Laili so they can be sympathized with and fix the dialogue. I believe that that dialogue in these two rewritten segments is much better and more natural, and I can honestly say that if you still don't like it then there's nothing more I will be able to do as I really put all of my effort into trying to make it sound convincing. So, without further adieu, here is Shadows of the Jedi: The Legend of Ussej Padric Bac


 * The Legend of Ussej Padric Bac: Prologue - Pho Ph'eah
 * The Legend of Ussej Padric Bac: Chapter One - City of Angels

Please discuss below and give me some constructive feedback, if you'd like. - Brandon Rhea 04:30, 9 September 2007 (UTC)