The Fanon Menace/Season 1/Episode 8 script

Kamino

-Obi-Wan arrives on Kamino

 Well, R4, I think we’re here.

*Obi looks at a big sign that spells KAMINO: POPULATION, 30,000,000+*

*Obi walks up to door and sees a long neck person*

You must be Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas.

No…

Don’t tell me, let me think. You’re…short green guy…what’s his name…Yoda!

No, he’s short and green.

Oh, right. You’re…Anakin Skywalker!

No, I’m…

Hold on, it’s coming to me! Kit Fisto!

No, he’s tall and green. And he has tentacles.

Rats, he’s my favorite. How about…begins with an O…

Closer…

So it begins with an N?

No, other way.

So it begins with a P! I don’t know any P Jedi…

NO!

It’s Tyrannus, you idiot.

<Obi>Who’s Tyrannus.

<K1>The guy who hired Jango. You’re Olee, aren’t you?

<K2>No, Olee’s a girl. Are you a girl?

<Obi>No. My name is of no consequence anymore. Just tell me who Jango is.

<K1>A photocopy of Frank.

<Obi>Who’s Frank?

<K2>The template for a Clone Army that was ordered by Sifo-Dyas with the approval of the Jedi Council and intended for the Republic while fighting the CIS in a Clone War in the next episode.

<Obi>You know a lot of history don’t you?

<K2>I did major in history.

<K1>That’s it!

<K2>What’s it?

<K1>History! He’s Revan!

<Obi>Not quite…

<K1>Malak?

<K2>Malak was a Sith, you idiot.

<K1>Oh.

<Obi>Can you take me to Llama Su?

<K1>Who’s Llama Su?

<K2>Our Prime Minister. *To Obi Wan* Ignore the idiot beside me.

<K1>Mandalore the Great!

<Obi>So can you take me to him?

<K2>Of course. Follow me.

-Meets Llama Su and Discuss Clone Army

*Obi walks to meet Llama Su with K2 leading and K1 following, listing off random names*

<K1>Palpatine! Sidious! Darth Maul!

<Llama Su>Greetings, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, who can do an amazing Jedi backflip.

<Obi>Thank you. Now I have been told about a Clone Army that was created on the request of Sifo-Dyas with the backing of the Jedi Council for the use of the Republic in a Clone War coming up in the next episode.

<Llama Su>Actually, there’s not much more to say…

<Obi>When was this request made?

<LS>About ten years ago.

<Obi>Ten years? I was under the impression that he was killed after that.

<LS>Well, that would make sense…

<Obi>I mean before. I always get those two mixed up.

<LS>Oh…that’s a little weird. How would he be able to do that? He’d be dead.

<K1>RC-1207!

<Obi>What?!...Is he always like that?

<LS>I’m afraid so…Just be glad you’re not his roommate.

<Obi>I am. Now about this order. How can he place that order?

<LS>Well, my best guess would be to ask the Clones themselves. After all, they all think like their template…Frank the Clone Trooper.

<Obi>I should very much like to meet this Frank.

<LS>That could be arranged. But first, would you like to inspect the troops?

<Obi>That’s…why I’m here.