Wasting the Day in Bedlam/11

Please note: These entries were transcribed from illegible handwriting and the bracketed words may or may not be correct.

Second month, 3rd day, 28 ABY

I may be crazy, but I'll be damned before I let others think that I'm stupid.

I was [illegible] speaking with Dr. Karastee and meeting with some other doctors who will be doing my shocks and [illegible] observing. One of them spoke to me as if I were a child. Everything was said with this sing-song voice as if I were simple. Why do people do [that] to me?

Craddossk [sic] did that. He spoke to me as if I were simple. He called me "boy" and "child." He thought I was stupid. Gheeta called me a "little creature." He thought I was stupid. Fett [thought] I was stupid. Craddossk [sic] found out that I [wasn't] stupid because I double-crossed him and I watched as Bossk tore out Craddossk's [sic] [throat]. Then Bossk ate him. There was blood everywhere. Bossk was right—it does take a lot to kill a [Trandoshan].

Meds making my hand [not] work [illegible] right. Dr. Karastee has me on a mild sedative. Soon I'll be [illegible] going for my shocks.

The other doctors examined me and determined the [placement] of the electrodes. The shock will go from one side of my head to the other.

I've been shocked before. The cages on the Slave I are charged. Fett shocked me when I tried to attack him [because] he destroyed 4-LOM.

I miss 4-LOM. He [wouldn't] allow this. But, Fett destroyed him. Fett [deserves] the shocks, not me! I [tried] to fix 4-LOM. 4-LOM is not the same. He left me.

I [illegible] had [ambitions] once. Where had they gone?

Meds making it hard to think. Next [week] they shock my [brain].

''Doctor's note: One of the doctors that Zuckuss was referring to is an Arkanian gentleman named Dr. Neuchein, who is from another institution. During my residency at that institution, I was under the supervision of Dr. Neuchein, and he did have a tendency to talk down to a number of patients and even some of the staff. I learned to tolerate it, as Dr. Neuchein is one of the best in his field, but I can understand Zuckuss's aggravation.''

''The graphic imagery depicted in this entry may play a part in Zuckuss's condition, as only the Corellian was witness to it. To see a being savagely kill and devour another would certainly cause any individual to become traumatized. I will need to bring these incidences to light when I work with Zuckuss, to determine how he copes and to develop new coping skills for him.''

''Zuckuss's ECT treatment begins next week and he was likewise examined and prepped for it. I have assured him that we have taken steps to ensure his safety during the treatment, and his vital signs will be monitored during the course of it. He will be anesthetized for the treatment, and most adverse effects are usually due to the effects of general anesthesia. &mdash;Dr. Gawynn Karastee''