Revenge of the Jedi/Part 37

What if Raven dies?

Alone beside the toppled tree at the heart of Inimă Eserzennae's forest, where she had spent so many hours with Raven in meditation, conversation, and play, Raina sat with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Since Tirien and Yan had proposed the idea of targeting Gasald weeks before, Raina had understood the potential for tragedy—they all had. But Raina had allowed herself to consider the big picture—how defiance of the Jedi Council might alter the basic structure of the Order, how Gasald's death might wreak unforeseen consequences upon the Sith and the Republic alike—while all the while she hid from reality behind euphemisms. They may not come back, Gasald may defeat them, if he doesn't return…all nothing more than veils for the ugly, visceral possibility beneath.

But for all her preaching to Renata about emotional honesty and truth in self-examination, Raina had been unprepared for her Padawan to rip down the walls of her own hypocrisy and confront her with the words she had never allowed herself to say.

What if Raven dies?

Raina Kaivalt was a Jedi Knight, and to a Jedi, there was no death—there was the Force. She and Raven had confronted death together when they were only small children, and fate had taken their mother from them. Raina had certainly caused enough death of her own; she had lost count of her kills in the few, fevered hours of Mali's blitz into Rogeum on Milagro alone. And she had always understood that one day Raven would die, as would she; she had hoped they would leave behind a better galaxy and a strong family, but death was inevitable, and nothing for a Jedi Knight to fear.

And yet…

Childish it might be, but here, in this place where she and Raven had talked of everything from the trials of their Jedi training to their hopes and dreams for the future—here, in this hidden glen, where they had first whispered the idea of serving the broader galaxy as Knights of the Republic—here, Raina could not deny the belief she had held since childhood: Raven should not die without her, nor she without him. Whether they fell in battle tomorrow or died of age in the manor's den, surrounded by their spouses, children, and grandchildren, their lives were bound together.

Or so she had always thought, but she had sent him off to Allanteen without her. If she was right, did that mean his survival was assured—that Gasald could not kill him because Raina was not there to fall at his side? Or was her belief not of the Force, but a mere juvenile fantasy? And even if they were destined to die together, her absence might be no shield to her brother; dying at Gasald's hands might be terrible, but far worse would be to be taken alive.

The images that followed that dreadful imagining bent Raina over until she groaned in despair. She knew she could not have gone with Raven—she knew that her choice was right and his was wrong—and yet she could not shake the feeling that she had failed him somehow. What had she not said that could have persuaded him to stay? When had they, so close and so often on the same wavelength, grown apart on such a critical issue? Should she have turned the strike team in to the Jedi Council after all? Would the rift between her and Raven have been worth it to preserve his life?

There is no emotion, she told herself, as much exhortation as recitation, there is peace.

A Jedi could not deal in what-ifs or should-haves; she could only follow the Force's will as best she was able, and deal with what followed. Raven was gone, beyond Raina's ability to persuade or detain; all she could do now was…

What?

Meditate? She had tried for hours, all through the sleepless night, and failed for the trying. Send to the Council? It was too late. Follow them? That choice remained wrong, and even if she tried, the strike team would likely arrive soon, if they had not already; by the time she reached Allanteen, they might have confronted Gasald. Neither she nor her father could even go to the House leadership or the Great Council for help. The Tapani fleet could not assemble in time to challenge Gasald, even for a distraction, but the nobles could contact Gasald to warn her; it would take only one unscrupulous traitor to doom the Jedi team.

When the canopy overhead lightened and the insects began to sing to the dawn, Raina rose, brushed the dirt off her trousers, and started the trek back toward the manor. Fallen branches and divots in the forest floor threatened a broken ankle to the unwary, but Raina had walked these forest paths so many times that she could have run in safety in the depth of night even without her Jedi senses. Surrounded by the web of life stirring awake, she felt the Force flowing through her and tried to let that tide carry away her fears.

Her beacon transceiver vibrated. She drew it and reached for her datapad, but the message was short enough that she thought she could translate it. Once she did, though, she feared she might drop it.


 * J UST DECANTED . M IGHT NOT BE ABLE TO MESSAGE AGAIN .  I LOVE YOU .

What if Raven dies?

Raina picked up the pace until she was sprinting, bending the Force to her will until every step felt like a leap, but she could not outpace the dread that had returned full-force. They were there, then; the Second Chance would board the Kiss of Death, and the Jedi would try themselves against Gasald. Unless, of course, Captain Oraska had been deceived, and the clearance code only signaled the Sith fighters to descend upon them…

Raina slowed enough not to crash into the stairs, though she still went from the stone courtyard to the back porch in two seconds. There she stopped altogether; her father sat in one of the deck chairs, gazing out over the forest.

"I gather that sleep eluded you as well," he said.

The words had dogged her all night, and here, with no one to hear her but the father who had loved them both all their lives, she dared to give them voice. "What if Raven dies?"

Miklato closed his eyes and bowed his head. "That same thought has preoccupied me as well. I've even found time to worry for Gaebrean and Lord Brascel, though I won't think less of you if you haven't."

Raina, who realized she had not, did think less of herself for the omission, but Miklato opened his eyes. "I don't know where your thoughts have led you, but mine have revolved around what I might do to aid them now that they've gone beyond reach."

"You're in a healthier place than me," Raina admitted. "Could I have said anything—"

"—to keep him here?" Miklato finished. He shook his head. "The Force may have blessed you with extraordinary willpower, dear—to say nothing of your mother's genes, if you don't mind my saying so—but that trait isn't uniquely yours. You and Raven share a strong sense of right and wrong—of duty and commitment.  I suppose you've never really come down on opposite sides of something this important, have you?"

Raina shook her head.

"I can't imagine," he said with a gentle smile. "Vinton and I have had strong disagreements, of course, but I've never known two Jedi so deeply connected as you and Raven. I've felt it in you both this past month—not so much a dispute between siblings as…almost a war against oneself."

"Against our other halves," Raina offered, and her father nodded.

"Yes, exactly. I shouldn't be surprised; you've been like that since childhood.  For the longest time I thought the medical droids were wrong, you know, and that Tenja only had one.  It wasn't until you were born that I really understood; we couldn't separate you for more than a few minutes before you'd both begin to cry."

And now? Raina wondered. If Raven died at Allanteen, what would that do to her?

"You couldn't have stopped your brother," said Miklato, "any more than he could have compelled you to go with him."

Raina combed her fingers back through her hair; she had left it loose, and she found a few twigs she had caught on her run. "What have you decided?"

"Even if I could persuade the Great Council to go to their aid, there isn't time," Miklato said. "Not even to convince them, let alone to get there, assuming they aren't—"

"They arrived," Raina said, holding up her beacon.

Miklato winced. "Then no. Lord Natascha kept his Jedi out of this affair; he won't lend military aid.  And Lord Brascel left clear instructions that…Raina?"

He trailed off, and Raina realized distantly that her inattention was obvious, but she had moved beyond his train of thought. Lord Natascha was High Lord of House Cadriaan, and even she had been surprised by his refusal to become involved, given the danger facing—

"I have to go," she said, and she bolted into the house.

It took only a moment to warm up the holoprojector, and another minute or two to lock onto the signal from distant Milagro. Though she knew at once she had caught the Signals noncommissioned officer on duty off guard, the other woman recovered quickly and passed the signal along. It took only two more intermediate steps before Raina found herself facing a blue holo of a sharp-eyed female Echani wearing a Republic Navy vice admiral's insignia and an expression of great surprise.

Raina bowed from the neck. "Admiral Vaskolt. I'm sorry if I woke you."

"We've just finished lunch here, Jedi Kaivalt," Saikra Vaskolt replied, steadying her expression. "Baron Obveluus gave me to understand we wouldn't be hearing from you in future."

"Circumstances have changed," Raina said. "Have your forces conducted reconnaissance at Allanteen?"

Vaskolt frowned. "That's hardly—"

"This line is secure."

"Be that as it may, since you and your brother have absented yourselves from the Milagro operation, I'm no longer free to discuss military readiness with you."

"Raven's more involved in Milagro's fate than you know."

"What do you mean?"

No purpose would be served in hiding the truth now; even if everything went exactly to plan and the entire strike team returned, they could not pretend Gasald had dropped dead of her own accord. Raina told her the strike team's plan; she had seldom seen an Echani truly rattled, but by the time she was done, Vaskolt's mouth hung open.

"They need a distraction," Raina finished. "Something to draw Sith away from the conflict, and to allow them to escape once Gasald is dead. Will you take the Milagro fleet there?"

It took Vaskolt a moment to reply. "High Command has told me nothing of this."

"High Command doesn't know. It's…a Jedi operation."

"I haven't received orders from the Chancellor either."

"The Chancellor's Office…also hasn't been informed," Raina admitted. "It's an independent operation."

Vaskolt's eyes narrowed. "Independent here meaning 'unauthorized'?"

"It's a long story, Saikra, and while I'll be happy to give you the details later, they're at Allanteen now. We have hours, if that."

To her credit, Vaskolt took a moment to think it over before she shook her head. "No. I have my orders, and they don't involve rescuing rogue Jedi."

"If they can kill Gasald and destroy the Kiss of Death—"

"—then I will be the first to laud their heroism. But I answer to the Chancellor, not whatever Jedi makes a persuasive case.  Persuade the Supreme Chancellor, and I will bring every ship I have down on Gasald and her armada—I'll take the Starspear against the Kiss of Death myself.  Until then, I can do nothing for you."

Raina sighed, but what could she say, when she herself had refused the mission for the same reason? "I understand. Good day, Admiral."

"Good day, Jedi Kaivalt."

Raina sat in one of the chamber's chairs, frustrated. She could call the Supreme Chancellor, but would Master Thini side with her now that Raven, Tirien, and the rest were in danger, or would he double down on his defensive strategy? Baron Obveluus remained on Milagro, but she lacked the clout to convince him to leave—like most titled nobles, he had some indulgence for Raina and Raven, but not nearly enough to throw his life away chasing Raven on a rogue mission. And the Tapani had taken only a hundred capital ships to Milagro, only a fraction of what—

Raina shot to her feet, plugging her beacon transceiver into the comms system and searching for the right frequency. It took longer for the system to establish a connection this time, and Raina ran through a meditative exercise to prevent herself from imagining what Raven and the other Jedi might be doing at that very moment. After far too long, the holoprojector hummed back to life and displayed an image of Mali Darakhan.

"Hello Raina," he said. "What may I do for you?"

There was no more time to waste. "Mali, Tirien told you what they're doing, didn't he?"

"Allanteen." Raina had seen Mali turn from casual comrade to no-nonsense commander on a decicred before, and he did not disappoint. "Have they gone?"

"They just arrived. Thirteen of them, against the full might of Gasald's armada."

Mali sighed. "She has to be stopped, Raina. I understand your position—"

"This isn't about that, Mali. I think we can help them."

"'We'?" Mali repeated, frowning. "I sent…help."

"Yes, and it was helpful," Raina replied with equal caution. "I spoke to Admiral Vaskolt just now, and she refuses to take Milagro's fleet to their aid."

Mali looked down in thought. "As a distraction—if we were sure they could defeat Gasald—it would help enable their escape. But the Milagro fleet isn't strong enough to challenge Gasald's armada and win."

"What if the armada lost the Kiss of Death?"

Mali's eyes flashed up to her. "Something Tirien didn't tell me?"

Raina filled him in on the evolved plan, and Mali nodded slowly. "It'll decapitate the fleet if they succeed. They'll still have weight of numbers, but Gasald centralizes command authority too much; her senior officers will all be on the Kiss of Death with her.  But I'm not in command at Milagro anymore; I can't order Saikra to bring me a stimcaf, much less throw Milagro's entire defense fleet against Allanteen."

"No, but…"

Mali raised his eyebrows. "But?"

Raina felt her own hypocrisy again, and again for counseling others to an action she would not take herself. But the chance cube had been thrown, and she could not believe the Force willed Raven, Tirien, and so many other Jedi to die at Allanteen, nor for Gasald to achieve yet another triumph. And besides…

What if Raven dies?

"You're a Corellian, Mali—"

"It's these keen observations that made you such a brilliant jurist, Raina…"

"—and Corellians are a breed apart," she said, refusing to be sidetracked.

Mali shrugged. "What of it?"

She told him her idea, then watched discomfort and desire war on his face.

"That's a big ask, Raina, even for Tirien and your brother," Mali said. "Especially because I won't be the one in danger, or bearing the worst of the heat no matter how this goes down."

"If you could be at Allanteen—if Aldayr had never gone missing, and you were still in command at Milagro—would you go to Tirien's aid?"

Mali's face hardened at the mention of his apprentice, and Raina feared she had misstepped, but after a moment Mali sighed and admitted, "Probably."

"I don't ask you to command, merely to inform. You're out of the chain of command now…"

"…but because Corellians are a breed apart, you hope influence will accomplish the same end?"

"Yes," Raina admitted. "I hope that."

Mali rubbed his bearded chin and sighed, but he nodded. "I'll call her. Let's hope we're not too late."

When the holo derezzed, Raina stood in silence for a moment, grappling with the enormity of what she had done and asked Mali to do. Would Raven have done the same if their positions were reversed? She believed he would have. And clearly Mali Darakhan felt as she did, though his Concordance of Fealty with Tirien approached the level of brotherhood. But the High Council? What would the Masters say? Would they believe she had acted for the betterment of the Order and its Jedi, or that she had done little more than solicit treason?

Raina steadied herself with a deep breath. She had done it, and, just like her refusal to accompany Raven, she would make the same choice again given the chance. She would face the consequences of her decision; she would be a Jedi. And if it saved Raven's life, and the lives of his comrades, she would answer any charge without regret.

When she walked out of the holochamber, she was surprised to find her father waiting in the corridor. "Renata was looking for you."

Raina checked her chrono. "I didn't realize I had been so long."

"Yes, I was about to step in."

"Renata's young, but she's still a Padawan; she can shift for herself until I get there."

"Oh, I have no doubts about her capabilities," Miklato answered with a dry smile, and he stepped past her into the holochamber. "It's just that we seem to have happened upon the same idea."