A Few Kinks/Story

A Few Kinks an MI5 Chronicles story

Deep within MI5 Headquarters on Coruscant, the part of the complex known as Q'u Branch, gadget-master Q'u was in a large room with other Q'u Branch technicians. They were all looking at the deactivated Bothan replica droid laying on the table in front of them. Not long ago, the droid was considered an enemy of MI5.

After MI5 had successfully prevented the assassination attempt on Queen Teresaa of Naboo a year ago, the mastermind behind it, Urma Boont, and her replica droid Digika, were taken into custody for questioning.

MI5 officials who grilled the Bothan replica droid quickly realized that the droid knew absolutely nothing about the SMERSH organization of which Boont and the droid were a part. All the information came from the interrogation of Urma Boont, who was the actual living Bothan. The droid's knowledge was useless to MI5.

The deactivated Digika sat in a back storage room of Q'u Branch for a year before Q'u was granted permission to reprogram it. He headed the reprogramming project himself. He was excited about it and planned to use the newly reprogrammed replica droid to possibly help him around the department.

Now, Q'u and some of his workers, Gunnar Flak, Rance Bolivar and Alexis Keer, were looking down at the deactivated Digika on the table. Together, they had started the reprogramming a week ago. And now was the time to reactivate Digika to see if the preliminary steps had been completed successfully.

Q'u was anxious to continue with the reprogramming. Without taking his eyes off the replica droid, he asked, "The memory wipe was completed?"

"A few days ago," Gunnar responded. "And it's been checked and rechecked."

"Excellent. The bomb built into it's innards has been removed?" Q'u continued with his questioning.

Rance held up a metal box with tangled wires dangling out of it. "Got it right here."

"Perfect," Q'u said. "Then the preliminary stages are complete. Let's test it out before we continue."

Alexis walked over to a control panel next to the table. The control panel was hooked up to the replica droid's CPU. Wires extended out of the panel and ran directly into the back of Digika's head. "Just give me the go-ahead, sir," Alexis said to her superior, hands on the controls.

"Alright," Q'u said. "Let's go." He pointed a wrinkly old finger at the control panel, indicating to Alexis to start it up.

She turned a few knobs and flicked a switch. "Contact," she reported. After keying a few commands into the control panel, she stepped back.

Digika's eyes suddenly opened.

Q'u smiled.

The Bothan replica droid slowly sat up and turned to swing it's legs off the side of the table. The three young Q'u Branch technicians watched as Q'u approached Digika. "Hello. You are among friends. Do you know who you are?" he asked the droid, testing it's memory wipe.

Digika appeared to think for a moment. "No."

"You are called Digika," Q'u told him. "How do you feel?"

Digika tried to think again. "I feel... I feel..." He hesitated. "I feel like..." Digika's synthetic eyes suddenly began to glow a reddish color. He slid off the table and grabbed a tray full of tools and intricate utensils. He lifted the tray and threw it across the room, the tools hitting the floor.

Something had gone terribly wrong. It was obvious. Q'u watched as Digika began picking up the tools.

"What's going on?" Rance asked, wondering why Digika was making a huge mess.

Suddenly, Digika spun around and threw some of the sharper tools at Rance.

"Whoa!" Rance ducked as a metal pointed object whizzed by his ear.

Q'u and the techs began to take cover behind the computers and machinery that were in the workshop.

"MI5 must die!" Digika yelled.

"Damn it! The memory wipe didn't take," Gunnar yelled to the others.

"Ya think?" Alexis responded sarcastically. Then she saw Digika's furry hand reach out and grab Gunnar by the throat.

"MI5 must die!"

"No! Let him go!" Alexis jumped at Digika, but the replica droid used his other hand to shove Alexis backward and into another cart full of tools and gadgetry, knocking everything on the floor.

Rance rushed toward the control panel on the table. Digika was still hooked up to it, wires stretching from the panel to Digika's head. Rance reached out to key in commands and shut down the droid, but he turned when he heard Digika say, "Don't even think about it." Digika had thrown Gunnar at Rance. Rance turned just in time to feel Gunnar's body slam into his. They both slid over the table and hit the floor on the other side. The two groaned in pain.

Digika then squatted down and put his arms around one of the computer consoles. Grunting, he lifted the entire console, which was roughly the size of two gonk droids, up into the air. Wires snapped underneath it as it was lifted upward. Digika turned and took a step toward Alexis, who was still on the floor where she hit the cart of tools. "MI5 must die!"

As Digika was about to smash Alexis with the console, she screamed. Her eyes were shut as she waited to be killed. And she waited. And she waited some more. Nothing. She cautiously opened her eyes to see the replica droid towering over her, still holding the console high above his head. But the droid was motionless and it's eyes were back to their normal color. As if...someone had shut him down.

Alexis glanced over to the control panel on the table. There was no one there. Then there was a slight shimmer in the shape of a humanoid. The shimmer quickly turned into a figure. It was Q'u.

"Everyone alright?" He asked, looking around at his technicians.

Alexis scurried out from underneath Digika. Gunnar staggered to his feet. "I'm gonna be sore in the morning."

As Rance stood up, he asked, "What happened?"

"Obviously Digika didn't want anyone near the control panel to shut him down," Q'u explained. "So I had to do it in such a way that would keep me hidden from sight." He then pointed to his belt buckle. "I had to use this. It's a device that turns the wearer invisible."

"Yeah, the Invisi-Belt," Rance responded. "It works the same way as the carbon-eye. But what I meant was: what happened with the reprogramming?"

Q'u had forgotten he was dealing with people who helped him design MI5's gadgets. Yes, the Invisi-Belt worked the same way as the invisibility feature used in the carbon-eye device they commandeered from SMERSH a while back. The mechanism inside, when activated, would manipulate the electromagnetic field and interact with the atmosphere, distorting light. It gave the illusion that the person wearing the belt was actually "invisible" when, in fact, it was only the distortion of light in the space around the wearer.

"Ah, yes, the reprogramming..." Q'u started. "Well, it appears there was a fail-safe built into the droid. Something that activated in case it's memory was tampered with. I guess there are still a few kinks to work out."

He looked around the lab. The place was in shambles. Carts, trays, tools, wires, they were all strewn across the room. Not to mention the damaged console still in the frozen Digika's hands. Luckily, his technicians weren't seriously hurt. He sighed. "You have to promise me... Not a word of this to M."

Someone behind him cleared his throat. "Ahem."

Q'u spun on his heels to see his superior, M, standing in the doorway. "Ah, good afternoon, sir," Q'u greeted his boss as if nothing was wrong. "I was just in the middle of telling my technicians--"

M cut him off by putting up his hand as if to say "stop".

Q'u shut his mouth.

M, looking at all the damage, said, "This is going in your personal file, Q'u."

"No," Q'u muttered. "Not the file." That was where all of Q'u Branch's mishaps were logged and recorded.

M continued. "Starting immediately, I'm halting the Digika reprogramming project until further notice."

"Of course, sir," Q'u responded simply.

"Now get this place cleaned up," M ordered as he turned and left the workshop.

The three techs looked at each other, feeling sorry for Q'u.

Q'u, turning back to his technicians, took a deep breath. "Alright, you heard him. Let's clean up."

After that incident in the Q'u Branch workshop, the deactivated Digika sat in the back storage room collecting dust for more than a decade. At the time, Q'u had no idea when he would be approved to work on it again, if ever. It wasn't until the next man took over the role of M nearly 15 years later that Q'u Branch would finally get approval to continue work on the project.

The End