User talk:Troyb/Archive V

Shadowfeed: I - II - III - IV Hello, and welcome to the council room people! This is where users can discuss things with me, Troyb, leader of the New CIS. Also If you wish to see old shadowfeed communications please visit Archive 1, 2, 3, and 4.Troyb(CIS ShadowFeed) contribs 23:15, 14 June 2007 (UTC)

Okay
Okay, from The Phantom Menace or Revenge of the Sith?&mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 00:23, 28 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Alright.&mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 00:24, 28 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Check recent changes for the two.&mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 00:27, 28 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Alright.&mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 00:36, 28 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Alright-e.&mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 00:39, 28 October 2007 (UTC)

Looks better, but still has grammatical errors (You do not put an apostrophe in between every plural word, like "natives"; it's just natives, not native's, unless you're speaking of possession, which you aren't where I found those errors) and lacks a lot of detail in astrography section still. "Taken over by GDE" or "by New CIS" is no detail at all. That's more like "duh" or stating the obvious since we know that. You must detail how, when and why. -- Don Victor, Sr.  ( Commission Room ) 00:30, 28 October 2007 (UTC)