Forum:CL:Off-site review requested

um... hi, I was hoping I could get some help checking out these stories I write for star wars (well, duh, I'm on a huge website for it) but it's located at a site called figment. WWW.figment.com you dont have to sign up or anything, just like go to the library search box, and type in The Beginning. I'm trying to get these looked at by people who obviously know more about star wars than me. I better do some explaining before you read. You must know that some of the charectures are cannon apperance, such as Lily and Daniel, they are my own design, so please don't go crazy becuase I changed one or two little things. Well, okay maybe some big things, but just take a look at it? Thanks...