Talk:ARC-100/@comment-1009967-20180106032311

In the first sentence, you may want a space in "apart"; there are a few little grammatical nitpicks, which I sometimes list out in an entire paragraph, but I'll just recommend a proofread edit over all to iron out anything that's there. You've got a neat concept for a specialization that makes him stand out, the knowledge of the battlefield deal, but you might phrase it differently; to say he's known for intellectual knowledge of battlefields is a bit imprecise, when you could say he's known for "studying battlefield terrain and devising strategies which use it to his advantage". Giving him a recon drone or some database of planetary maps he can access in the field might be a neat prop for him. In the "Early Life" section, you mention Order 66 a bit early for the reader; I'd suggest just saying he wasn't implanted with an inhibitor chip, and give a reason why, like it was withheld to preserve his creativity as an intended ARC trooper. There's a bit of a tense change, from past to present, starting in Felucia--"have" instead of "had". Most articles I've read stick with past tense, so that could be looked for in any proofreading. Just a phrasing thing, but I'd recommend calling it something other than a Mexican standoff when we're dealing with another galaxy where there is no Mexico (that we know of, anyway). After Order 66 seems to be a header too large. You've got a bit of an odd jump at the Great Jedi Purge, having him unconscious at its end. You could tell a pretty interesting story during Order 66 itself, when he's torn between protecting the Jedi who've led them throughout the war, and turning on his own brothers, especially given your note in his Personality about caring deeply for the troopers under his command. This could also provide some backstory for the Resistance Militia, still wanting to fight for the Republic but, for the time, uncertain why the Republic's troopers had turned on the Jedi, where as it stands they kinda just walk into each other. Maybe Carg saves Clasina and Chev from attack from fellow clones, whether by shooting at his brothers or just leading them away and evading them through his familiarity with Felucia's very hostile terrain, plant and animal life included. There's a "Crag" in place of Carg at the start of Back to Felucia. You should probably cut "facts" to read "Due to how Black was acting". Giving Gold Leader a proper name and listing Gold Leader as his callsign would be more consistent with the names given to clones, unless he's not a clone, in which case a proper name makes all the more sense. Last, in personality, I don't think they have poker in the Star Wars universe, but Han, Lando, and Chewie were all known to play sabacc, which might as well be Star Wars poker. All in all, there are some good concepts here. Not everything quite lines up with Star Wars canon, but I just pick up on that 'cause I make my home on a site that requires it, which isn't a rule here. If anything, I'd recommend just a thorough proofreading and maybe some incorporation of more details of Felucia, since it's so heavily featured in Carg's story. What we know of it makes the planet out to be a treacherous environment, where troopers could be sucked into the swamp with one wrong step, or ambushed by a predator large enough to tear them apart, or lethally poisonous. Given Carg's expertise in terrain, getting into more detail with the environment would give him chances to pull off some great feats.