Wasting the Day in Bedlam/14

Please note: These entries were transcribed from illegible handwriting and the bracketed words may or may not be correct.

Second month, [illegible] day, 28 ABY

Zuckuss has lost [track ]of the days. According to Dr. Karastee, such [detriment] is common [illegible] to shock treatment. [illegible] She [said] that Zuckuss will recover his memory in due time.

Dr. Karastee also showed Zuckuss a [illegible] holorecording of the shocks. He actually remembered viewing it this time. It [isn't] so hazy [illegible] in his mind. He still has trouble with [illegible] most of the details, but he remembers seeing it. And he was actually shocked—as in the emotion.

It didn't look so bad. It didn't look so scary. The only thing Zuckuss remembers seeing was his left foot twitching. It didn't look so bad.

Zuckuss still doesn't like the [headaches] and pain and confusion. According to Dr. Karastee, Zuckuss was confused after his treatment, but it apparently [cleared] up.

He has to wonder... is this [illegible] helping him? Or is it [illegible] slowly destroying him?

Zuckuss misses 4-LOM...

Second month, don't know the day anymore, 28 ABY

Galactic [Love] Festival, or something. I only know [because] there was a pink cupcake with chow. No shocks today, have those [tomorrow].

I really don't know how to feel about these shocks anymore.

I had an attack today. Chest closed up, coughed and coughed and coughed. My throat is raw, my chest hurts, and I spent the evening [lightheaded]. I was given a breathing treatment and permitted to shower. One of the doctors asked if I have asthma. No, I just have bad lungs. They [illegible] [need] replaced. Again.

Was my surgery a farce? Did it do anything ? I thought they fixed my lungs! I hoped that they fixed my lungs. For a while, it felt like that they fixed my lungs.

I still have attacks. My chest hurts from my last one. Did they lie to me?

''Doctor's note: "They" that Zuckuss refers to in the second entry are the Alliance medical staff. When Zuckuss was processed and examined, his file said that he has a pre-existing chronic respiratory condition, though at the time of the exam, he did not disclose what exactly it was. The condition is still listed as "chronic bronchitis," so I will need to speak with him about clarifying that with the attending physician.''

''Since Zuckuss had viewed and retained the memory of the holorecording, his attitude toward his ECT has improved. He had seen what it entails, how he reacts during the treatment, and his fears and concerns have subsided. He still exhibits frustration with the side-effects and anger toward having to complete the treatment course (he views it as an inconvenience, now), but his symptoms have improved. His entries have shown markedly less derailment from pertinent topics.''

''After his treatment course, he will continue his drug therapy, though his dosages will be adjusted. Then, after a period of observation, I will work with him to prepare him for his competency hearings, and then speak with the parole board to arrange for some mock trials. &mdash;Dr. Gawynn Karastee''