Thread:Sakaros/@comment-29301-20180903145046/@comment-29301-20191103191049

1. You made the right call with Slejux. I was sad to see him go, but it was the right kind of sad. I would've liked seeing more of him in the future, but he's already had a substantial role in several episodes in the series. So it doesn't feel like it was too soon. It was a good way for him to go out, and showing it was a pretty good way to open this installment. It was more attention-grabbing than just starting with Tirien and company would've been.

2. The only problem I had with Bee Seven's chapter was probably my own doing, reading it too fast or something; I initially thought that he was the traitor, because the first sentence says he's "hard at work for Lady Gasald", so that plus the stuff about his Blending In Mode Computeryness, I somehow got myself thinking he was a triple agent or something. Again, though, I think the confusion was my own fault. As for the chapter itself, I think you did a pretty good job showing a droid's perspective (it reminded me of how Stover does it in his books). The mathematical stuff worked well for that (isn't that how droids talk in The Old Republic?). It was a challenge, I'm sure, one I'll have to tackle myself sooner or later.

3. Again, I've only read the whole thing once, so I'm going off my memories, which may be faulty. And, of course, there's so many aspects and incidents that are tied to this question. Overall... yeah, I think it worked out. Despite my complaints of the length, I enjoyed things basically every step of the way, all the ways the core four bounce off each other as well as the various secondary people. I really felt for Jirdo's sense of insecurity, and how he scrapes and claws and just manages to eventually get some begrudging respect from Zaella. The incident with the knife when Zaella suggests "playing bacta" was particularly memorable for me. The way Zaella tries to "thank" Tirien for the Force Brain Surgery in Part 13 was sort of unexpected, but it made a lot of sense in retrospect.

3a. I'm not sure how I feel (or felt - again, I only read it once) about the subplot with various things driving a wedge between Zaella and Narasi. Not so much how it all gets built up before the mission actually starts. That was all great, especially how it goes badly when Zaella tries to pass Jirdo's sorta-warning on to Narasi in Part 33. I expected one of the effects of that to be Zaella being more pissed at Jirdo than usual, but I don't remember that happening... And the way Narasi and Zaella end up fighting during the Big Damn Showdown - something about that was a little underwhelming for me. Maybe just the fact it wouldn't actually have happened if not for Gasald influencing Narasi's mind (it did happen that way, right?). Maybe I just expected it to end with something more tragic or drastic (you kill off plenty of other heroes in this installment alone, after all)...

3b. For the fifth or sixth time, I'm going off of having only read it once, and I may see it differently if I read it again and more carefully. But I hope I've at least sort of answered your questions.

I've got to ask you this, though: how long were you planning on killing off the kid Tirien recruited from Pantora? Because the way that affects Tirien is some of the best drama you've written in this series.