Revenge of the Jedi/Part 34

Renata took the curving stairs two at a time in her master's wake; she did not understand what Raina had sensed, but she knew it had to be something to do with the mission. Even she could feel the change in the air, some indefinable deepening of the tension that had been with them for weeks. As they approached Baron Kaivalt's study, Raina slowed, and Renata heard voices.

"—no such thing as a safe place to keep the blasted thing, so we might as well put it somewhere accessible so we can get it back out," the baron was saying. "They're bringing it up now?"

"They are," Raven said.

Raina stopped outside the door, but the baron called, "Come in, Raina. And you, Renata."

Raina went at once, and Renata followed a few seconds later. Renata bowed to Baron Kaivalt, though her eyes darted to Bernius, standing at her father's shoulder. The baron himself sat behind the desk, one hand in a fist on the desktop and the other clutching his chin, though he released it to nod to Renata. By the time she straightened again, Raina and Raven were locked in one of their silent twin stares.

Raina's face darkened. "Now?"

"Two hours, less…" Raven glanced at his chrono. "…three minutes or so. Some of the Intelligence team may be compromised or dead, and the intelligence we've received has an expiration date.  Last chance, Ray—are you coming with us or not?"

Raven asked in a rote way; Renata thought he had to ask the question but had no hope about the answer. Renata's heart skipped a beat, trepidation of her master saying yes fighting dejection of her saying no, but though Raina's whole face tightened, she shook her head. "No. I'm sorry."

"I understand." He looked across the desk. "Father?"

Baron Kaivalt shook his head. "More Jedi won't make a difference; the Force will be with you, or it won't."

Raven chuckled once, but Renata, who had spent months in his company and knew his laugh well, heard no humor in this sound. "And on that cheerful note…"

He started toward the door, but Baron Kaivalt said, "Wait. Another Jedi won't make a difference, but…"

Renata had no idea where that was going, and as she looked from her master to Raven and back, she could tell neither of them did either. Baron Kaivalt frowned, brushing his bearded chin with one hand, but after a moment he looked over his shoulder. "Take Bernius."

"What?" Raven asked.

"What?" Bernius echoed.

As Renata let out a tense giggle, the baron gave one humorless snort of his own, then spun his chair to face the droid. "I've denied you the opportunity to train with the strike team, and all these years you've been at my side, we've exercised only one half of your programming. Your etiquette and protocol functions are exemplary, Bernius, but that's not all you were built for, and I know serving my father and I can't have compared to what you did with my grandfather.  So go with Raven, and show the younger generation how the old heroes fought."

"My place is with you, Your Honor," Bernius insisted.

"My grandfather charged you to serve and protect his family, did he not?"

"He did."

"Raven is his family, is he not?"

"…he is…"

"And Gaebrean, while we're on the subject?"

"Yes…"

"Then go. Serve Raven on this mad crusade of theirs, obey him as you would me, and see if you can make it somewhat less doomed than my brother insists it is, eh?"

"But what about you, sir?"

"Putting aside the fact that I'm a Jedi Knight and perfectly capable of defending myself," Baron Kaivalt said, raising one eyebrow while narrowing the other, "Raina and Renata will be here as well, and I flatter myself that, much as I've had my faults as a father, my daughter will not stand aside and allow me to be murdered in front of her."

Raina gave a smile as fake as her brother's laugh had been. "I promise I will not stand aside and let my father be murdered, Bernius."

Renata was touched that she had been included in the calculations at all, and she nodded in support of her master. "We're pretty safe here, Bernius. Raven and the others might…not be."

It was a lame ending, but she didn't want to slap her master or Baron Kaivalt with the depth of her concerns, let alone Raven. Bernius rotated his head to each of them in turn—without moving his torso, which Renata always found a little weird, even though she knew he wasn't a Human—and Renata wondered at the processes going on inside his computer brain. "And what if something does happen to you, sir?"

"Some danger so potent that it overwhelms the three of us, but which you would have stopped?" The baron raised a hand before Bernius could answer. "If Raina and I both die, then Raven is heir to Inimă Eserzennae, and you should serve him and his heirs faithfully. Just now, however, you serve me most faithfully by going to Allanteen."

Renata was about to object, scary as the idea was, that if the Kaivalts were dead, she would have to be dead too, but she realized in time she was not in the line of succession and held her tongue, trying not to blush. Raina nodded in encouragement, and Raven said, "If you're willing, Bernius, we could use your skills."

The baron smoothed his face. "Go. I command it."

Bernius's vocabulator produced a buzz like a tiny engine revving; Renata had never heard a droid sigh before, but she thought that was the intent. "As you command, Master. I shall need just a few moments to retrieve…my things."

Raven raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Of course. We have…an hour and fifty-four minutes or so."

Bernius clomped out of the room, leaving Renata alone with the Kaivalts. She gestured toward the door. "Do you want me to…?"

"Try not to trail off, Renata," Raina corrected, though she did not take her eyes off her brother and she sounded distracted. "Assemble your thoughts and say what you mean."

"Yes, Master."

"I'm going anyway," Raven said; Renata wasn't sure if he was rescuing her or himself. "I need to get packed."

"I'll help you," Raina announced, in a voice that brooked no disagreement. "Renata, go ask Tirien if there's anything you can do to help."

Renata thought her master had to be distracted indeed to send her off to Tirien Kal-Di, but she bowed and went just the same. She got to the foyer in time to see Narasi pushing in a hover dolly with a huge spheroid on it, and Renata's eyes widened when she realized it was the bomb. Tirien met her there, holding an imagecaster with a beacon transceiver plugged into it. "Where's Zaella?"

"…I got it here, it's fine." Renata could tell Narasi wasn't saying something, and she figured Narasi realized it, because she continued quickly, "Who'd you call?"

"Master Z'dar."

"Can he help?"

"He was noncommittal. We have to assume we're on our own."

Renata didn't know who Master Z'dar was, but she could tell by Narasi's passing frown of disappointment that he would've made a difference in the fight. She jogged down to meet them and said, "Jedi Kal-Di, my master sent me to see if there's anything I can do to help."

Tirien looked as surprised as Renata had felt, but that lasted only a second. "Help Narasi put the bomb out of the way, then see if Harshee's gotten word to everyone."

Renata glanced at the second-floor balcony, but Baron Kaivalt had not appeared, so she said, "Why don't we put it in…um…how about the holo chamber? It's flat, and not a lot of people go in there.  And nobody'll see it on a broadcast if we put it in the back."

"Good enough for me," Narasi said, and together they guided the bomb through the halls.

"Are you ready?" Renata asked.

"…yeah, I am. Is Raina definitely sitting it out?"

"She…we're not going, no." Narasi grimaced, and after a moment of awkward silence, Renata said, "Baron Kaivalt's sending Bernius, though."

"Bernius?"

"He used to go on missions with Donarius Kaivalt, like a century ago. I don't know exactly what he can do, but it must be something pretty wizard."

Narasi looked skeptical, but they had reached the holo chamber, and they spent a few minutes getting the bomb situated in a corner away from the holoprojector. Once that was done, Renata asked, "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Nah, I just need to grab my stuff. But you should find Harshee."

As she turned away, Renata blurted out, "Narasi!"

"Yeah?" She cocked her head. "You okay?"

"I just…I hate this," Renata said. "I understand why we're not going—I really do—and I respect my master's decision. But I feel bad with all of you going into danger…I know I couldn't do much even if I was going…"

She tried to stop herself from rambling, but some of the tension around Narasi's eyes relaxed—not all of it, but some. Half-smiling, she hugged Renata, who hugged her back, fighting the childish urge to cry.

"We'll make a Jedi Guardian of you yet," Narasi teased, but then she said seriously, "You're a good Jedi, Renata—you have a good heart. I hope we can serve together when we're both Knights."

"I'd like that too," Renata admitted.

She let Narasi pull back, and the Zygerrian patted her arm before she turned. "Now, I really do have to go. I'll see you when we leave!'

Renata rubbed her nose and prepared to hunt down Harshee, but just as she had concluded the little Jedi Knight wasn't in the manor, she walked onto the back porch and nearly collided with her in the doorway. "Whoa! Sorry!"

"No problem, kid—it's easy to miss me down here."

"Jedi Kal-Di said to help you tell everyone—"

"Done," Harshee said. "I found the lords—never will get used to calling Jedi that—and they said they'll tell the best buddies. Oh, and Zaella's telling her…what'll we call him, 'paramour'?  The flowery language is usually Tirien's thing…"

Renata blushed. "Er…"

With a whinnying laugh, Harshee patted Renata's hip. "Point is, everybody knows."

"Right. Good.  Um…is there anything I can do to help you get ready?"

"Well, if you want to talk Lord Lumpy Wisté into giving me Kobold Baliss back for my part of the mission, that'd be dandy. Although, there are advantages to not having him, too…"

Renata, who had paled at the idea of trying to negotiate with a Lord of House Pelagia, leapt headfirst into any other conversational possibility. "Really?"

"Easier sneaking around without that great colossus lurking around me."

"But wouldn't you be safer with him?"

Harshee raised her eyebrows. "I may not be as tall as you, but I can handle myself."

Renata blinked. "I'm not tall."

"You are to me."

Renata had never quite considered it that way; before Harshee, she had never met an adult sentient much shorter than herself, and never a Jedi. Harshee sighed and beckoned, and Renata knelt down at her height.

"Renata, size doesn't make you a Jedi, or decide how powerful a Jedi you are," she said. "Only the Force does that. Don't let people like Zaella get to you, and don't let you get to you either.  You have the Force, a good master, and a working lightsaber; that's all you need.  Remember that, eh?"

Renata nodded. "I will."

Harshee clapped her on the arm, and as Renata put a hand on the ground to stabilize herself, Harshee clip-clopped off to the foyer. She got to her feet just in time to lurch out of the way of Sir Kobold Baliss, who was coming off the porch.

"Move," he snapped.

Renata slunk back, bowing in contrition, but Sir Amaani came through a second later, and his eyes narrowed. "Kobold!"

Sir Kobold stopped, and Renata felt the second of tension as he and Sir Amaani stared each other down. Sir Amaani tipped his head toward Renata, and Sir Kobold sighed. "Forgive me, Renata, that was beneath me. I'm under rather a lot of stress just now, but that's no excuse."

"It's okay, Sir Kobold," she answered, trying not to squeak. Sir Kobold bowed his head, then turned and continued the way he had been going. Renata followed him with her eyes, worried; he had the same dark circles under his eyes as Tirien. Did nobody sleep anymore?

"It isn't okay," Sir Amaani told her when he was gone. "You'll be a noble when you're Knighted, and it's important that you understand: we nobles enjoy privileges over commoners, but treating them like less of beings goes well beyond availing yourself of a privilege. We're all part of the Force, noble and commoner alike."

"Yes, sir," Renata said. She tried with him the smile she'd been too hesitant to show Sir Kobold. "May the Force be with you on the mission, sir."

"Thank you, Renata, I hope it will be."

After that, there was little Renata could do to help. Lord Wisté allowed her to carry his things out to the Second Chance, but she thought he was just taking pity on her obvious feeling of uselessness; most of the Jedi Knights toted their own bags out, though Gaebrean carried Zaella's while she walked at his side, quibbling with him. She found Sir Amaani loading his droids into the Second Chance ' s newly-vacated cargo bay—it would be suspicious if a cargo freighter showed up without any cargo, he explained—but for all the abuse the droids had suffered in saber throw practice, they were still able to march into the bay under their own power without her help. Bernius appeared at one point, wearing a satchel on a bandolier across his metal chest and carrying what looked like a durasteel baton. As he presented himself to Raven, Renata ducked into the parlor to get out of the way and almost walked right into a three-way debate among Tirien, Narasi, and Harshee.

"You said it yourself, Master," Narasi insisted. "A Zygerrian who's not a slaver is going to look out of place."

"It might be only the higher-level Sith who are smart enough to realize that," Tirien replied.

"And what happens if we walk into a higher-level Sith? If there were any Zygerrian Sith, we'd've heard about them by now because of me."

"Modest much?"

Narasi rolled her eyes, and as Renata imagined how Raina would react if she rolled her eyes to her, Harshee said, "I don't need a bodyguard, Tirien!"

Jirdo came up behind Renata. He touched her shoulder and gave her a strained smile, but it was obvious the tension in the Force had drawn him, and he looked away at once. Back in the foyer, Renata saw Raven eyeing them as well. He half-turned their way and opened his mouth, but stopped in mid-turn, and Renata saw a queer, thoughtful frown on his face for a long moment before he turned away.

"And what if you die?" Tirien asked, wrenching Renata's attention back. "I agree with Amaani—the Kiss of Death needs to go either way—but it's critical in case we fail to kill Gasald. Pitting just one of us against a ship full of Sith is gambling with the entire operation."

"You called me here," Harshee reminded him. "Don't you have any faith in me?"

"I still have more faith in two of us going after the reactor core than the nine of us going after Gasald."

"What about Sir Amaani?" Narasi suggested. "Or Gaebrean?"

"They've both refused," Tirien said.

"But they'd—"

"Yes, it's insane, I agree with you. But Lord Brascel won't get involved—and Kobold is Lord Wisté's fault in the first place—and I can't order them to do anything."

Renata got the subtext loud and clear—I can order you to go. Narasi's eyes narrowed, but Renata could tell from the rigid set of her jaw and her hurt expression that, even if she would gripe and be crazily casual with him, she wouldn't defy him outright. Before she could answer, Jirdo stepped past Renata into the room.

"Tirien?"

Tirien spared him a glance. "What is it, Jirdo?"

Jirdo took a deep breath. "I've been training and practicing since we…talked. I've given it my best.  But I'm not up to fighting someone like Gasald.  I'm just not."

Tirien studied him a moment before he nodded. "I agree."

Jirdo swallowed. "But I…well, I spent the last nine years lying to people. I know a lot about reading people's reactions and bluffing my way through things.  So Harshee…if you'll have me…I'll go with you."

A moment passed, in which Tirien and Narasi looked from Jirdo to Harshee, and Renata seized her chance to squeeze Jirdo's shoulder and give him the biggest smile she could muster; even though it was one more person heading into danger without her, she appreciated how much the offer must have taken. He gave her something that resembled a smile—the smile of a man being strangled, but very happy about it, maybe—before Harshee said, "Solves all the problems, doesn't it? I'm not alone, there's somebody to blow the thing up if I die, a Human will blend in better, and Narasi goes to the fight—where you and I both know she belongs."

She delivered that last in a stern tone, but Renata was surprised to see Tirien sigh and nod in concession. "Agreed. Let's go."

He and Narasi passed Jirdo without a word, but Harshee grabbed his wrist, pulled him down until he was bent double, then patted him on the back. "Thanks, kid. Just stick with me and it'll be smooth spacefaring."

Jirdo nodded, but said, "I'll need to find a lightsaber…"

This weapon is your life, Raina had said…but what was life if a Jedi didn't do something good with it? And if Narasi could buck her master a little…

Renata took the lightsaber off her belt. "You can borrow mine."

"I…wait, really?"

"Really?" Harshee echoed.

"Really."

Jirdo hesitated, but in the end he took the lightsaber, turning it in his hands. It was too small for his grip, and even after the strike team had practiced by trading weapons, he seemed unsure where to put his support hand on the curving hilt. But he attached it to his belt and smiled. "Thanks, Renata."

"May the Force be with you, Jirdo."

Raina appeared not long after, and Renata confessed what she had done. For a moment Raina looked taken aback, but she glanced at her brother; Raven didn't even seem to notice, but Raina's whole face softened, and she tousled Renata's hair. Renata beamed, and as Raina moved on, Renata admired her master's ability to say so much without a word.

The strike team brought her joy crashing back to ground as the two hours ran out. Most of the nobles left after exchanging only a few words with Baron Kaivalt; Gaebrean bowed and planted a kiss on Raina's hand, but she swatted his cavalier hat off his head and refused to give it back to him. "You're infiltrating a Sith warship, not a masquerade ball!"

"Is there no such thing as style among the Sith?" Gaebrean lamented. "Perhaps killing them will be a mercy…"

As he exchanged parting words with his uncle, Harshee and Jirdo hugged Renata, one after the other; Tirien, she gathered, had said his goodbyes first and gone to prep the Second Chance, taking Yan Razam with him. When Narasi's turn came, Renata blinked in surprise; she was carrying a gizka under one arm, with a bag of greens in her other hand.

"I know it's a big favor, but will you take care of Gizmo while I'm gone?" she asked. "If things go bad, I don't want him to be aboard."

Renata looked at Raina, but it was Baron Kaivalt who sighed and said, "We've already taken in one weapon of mass destruction, what's another?"

Narasi thanked him and passed Gizmo into Renata's arms, then hugged her as Renata returned the gesture one-handed. Soon only Raven and Bernius remained.

"Fight well, Bernius," Baron Kaivalt said, and he shook hands with the droid.

"To the very best of my ability, Your Honor. I hold you to your oath to look after him in my absence, Mistress Raina."

Raina nodded. "I accept the charge."

Bernius nodded back and looked at Renata; one of his photoreceptors darkened, then brightened again. By the time she realized it was a wink, the droid had stepped outside to wait for Raven.

Raven gave her a hug, and she laughed when he lifted her off her feet, but he touched his lips to her ear and whispered, "If I don't come back, don't let Raina be sad all the time."

Renata's laugh died, and she clung to him for a long moment, not sure if she was squeezing so hard as to hurt him but afraid to let go. She hung on a second even after he set her down, but he chuckled and peeled her arms off. She watched in a daze as he said goodbye to his father, and she did not process a single word spoken. Only the force of emotions more powerful than her own wrenched her focus down to the single moment when Raven faced Raina.

They each held the other's face with one hand, and in all the months she had known them, Renata had never seen them gaze at each other with such intensity. She knew they had a deeper bond than most Jedi, but until this moment she had never appreciated its depth. Neither said a word, and though Renata felt the thoughts racing from mind to mind, whatever passed between them was not hers to hear. They moved in unison to embrace, Raven kissed Raina's forehead, and they set their heads together for a moment.

"May the Force be with you," Raina whispered.

"And also with you."

Raven took a breath, stepped back, spun on his heel, and swept out of the manor without a backward glance; Renata saw Bernius fall in step with him a second before Raven waved a hand and sealed the door behind them.

For a moment no one spoke, and Renata was startled to see Baron Kaivalt with one hand over his eyes as he took slow breaths. Raina squeezed his hand, and Renata felt like an intruder upon their family; she feared for the strike team, especially Raven, but how insignificant must her worries be compared to theirs! She wanted to apologize, but she dared not break the silence; she wanted to back away, but where would she go?

Baron Kaivalt took his hand from his eyes and the other from Raina's, straightened himself with a deep breath, and said in his normal, controlled voice, "Well, I suppose I'd best let Vinton know they've gone; I rather doubt Gaebrean will. If you'll excuse me, ladies…"

When he was gone, Raina said, "No more training today, Renata. I'll see you for dinner."

Renata darted to the manor's HoloNet setup and called up the perimeter sensors so she could watch the Second Chance depart the planet. Only once it was gone did she discover how the unintended cruelty in Raina's command. With no training to occupy her, she had nothing to tear her thoughts away from imagining the battles that awaited Raven and the others at Allanteen. She got Gizmo set up in her room, but he took a few greens, hopped under her bed, and promptly fell asleep. She tried to bury herself in a novel, curled up on her favorite chair in the library, but after she read the same paragraph five times without taking in a word, she put the databook back on the shelf.

Meditation didn't help either, even when she punched in the code to the secret passages and climbed the tower to the shrine. She sat before the corae, but found no meditative tranquility, and wound up just asking the lightsaber questions.

"Did you ever have to sit out a mission? Probably not.  Well, maybe when you were a Padawan, right?  How'd you deal with it?  I'm really scared; everybody says she's so powerful.  I know Raven's really strong—even Lord Brascel and Jedi Kal-Di said so—but…well, you were too, right?  And Narasi's just a Padawan, and Jirdo barely has any lightsaber training…"

She fretted aloud, imagining Donarius Kaivalt sitting there and listening to her, as she often had; usually she came around to a clearer understanding eventually, but this time she just babbled herself in circles as the sunlight faded and the tower room grew dark. It was still well before dinner when Renata sensed her master's approach, and the lift descended to receive her.

"Oh," Raina said when it brought her up. "I didn't realize you were up here."

"Do you want me to go?" Renata asked, thinking, Please don't, I don't want to do this by myself anymore.

Raina shook her head. "Stay."

Renata exhaled in relief and scooted over to make room; Raina sat beside her. "Are you all right, Master?"

"My brother is a brave and skillful man. Tirien and I have had our disagreements, but he's a very powerful Jedi as well, as is Lord Brascel.  The others are all fine Jedi."

That wasn't even close to an answer to the question Renata had asked, but she didn't dare point it out. "I'm scared, Master."

"Being a Jedi means transcending fear, Renata."

The rote way she said it unnerved Renata in its own way. "But what if…they don't come back?"

Even now she had trouble saying the words aloud, so she veiled them.

"We have to trust in them, and in the Force. We've done all we can to help them prepare."

"What if it's not enough?" Even further from what she meant.

"Fear won't change what the Force wills, Renata." Raina frowned and took her eyes off the corae to study her for the first time. "You're holding back, Renata. Say what you mean."

It felt ruthless, almost cruel to say it to Raina's face—Raven was her brother, after all, not Renata's. "I don't…it's not my…"

Raina shook her head. "You can't overcome an unnamed fear, and the dark side will thrive if we never cast a light on it."

The last light faded through the window as Renata's resolve finally broke down, and her desire to protect her master's feelings gave way to the need for comfort. She whispered, "What if Raven dies?"