User blog comment:Brandon Rhea/THE CHOSEN ONE: Chapter 6 released!/@comment-29301-20130403002010/@comment-20644-20130403004343

Thanks for reading and reviewing 5 and 6!

As the end of 4 I didn't expect the actual crashing of the ship (and aftermath thereof) to be a big deal at all, but the whole affair was surprisingly exciting and visceral

When I first started writing this chapter, it wasn't going to be. I was just going to have Michael walk in, make his way through the crash scene, and then find Joshua. It would then proceed from there as this chapter puts forward (the sand people attack was in the earliest versions of this chapter, written about a year ago). One of my editors then reminded me that this should be an incredibly traumatizing experience for Michael, given his own experiences with a crash (though that was in a Skyhopper rather than a starship). That's when the idea of his descent into the valley being a descent into hell came from, because for Michael it is hell. It's his own, personal hell.

instead of in (for instance) TPM where the ship's kinda damaged and needs repairs, we've got something with as much impact as any of the movies' opening action scenes - these people have been screwed up.

Yeah, the characters going to Tatooine in The Phantom Menace was way too convenient and easy. For example, Captain Panaka says "You can't take Her Royal Highness there. The Hutts are gangsters." Yet, there was never any danger from the Hutts. The only danger the characters found themselves in was the danger of being stranded on Tatooine.

A lot of this novel acts on the basic premise of Captain Panaka's line. It wasn't intentional, and in fact I never made the connection until I was typing this comment, but it still shows an interesting difference between TCO and TPM.

Simultaneously, we're nicely reminded how vulnerable our protagonist is, and the chapter's theme that Michael is being drawn to the scene of the crash by his memories and preconscious desires also helps.

I’m glad this worked. I don’t particularly like how chapter 5 turned out and I’ll likely revisit the prose, but this was an important point. Michael was basically in shock from the ship crash so his subconscious was driving him, and it displays the conflict being his conscious and subconscious mind. When he finally really starts to think about the fact that he’s in the valley, his worries and doubts keep gnawing at him, but he’s too far into the valley to really do anything about it. His subconscious, though, acted on his desire to help people. That’s the remnants of the old Michael that Sara talked about in chapter 2, the one who wanted to make things better for the people of the Rim one day like his father and the other rebels tried to do in the Rim Wars, and it’s a hint of what’s to come if Michael can overcome his fear.

Chapter 6 was better than I expected it to be because it didn't do what I expected of it.

That's always a plus in my book.

Your Chapter 6 review

What's interesting, at least to me, is that my first draft of this chapter was more like what you were describing. Ben didn't say he's a Jedi, he doesn't show off a lightsaber, and so forth, but he did say his full name. He did say that he was in the starship. That just didn't work. Ben was too trusting, it hindered Ben's character development by giving him less room to develop, and it was just too convenient. It happened too fast, and it would've smacked of "This happend now because it's supposed to happen, so why wait?" It's the trap of convenience you fall into when the author and the reader knows where that part of the story is going to go, especially with re-imagined versions of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

that "needs" to happen in fanfiction whenever the non-Jedi protagonist meets a Jedi.

I wanted to pull this specific part of your response out because I find it really interesting, and it's why I like the fact that you're reading TCO and reviewing it. Out of everyone actively involved on SWFanon, you're probably most experienced with reading Star Wars fan fic&mdash;and, in particular, bad fan fic. One of the things I've seen you talk about is how badly fan fic authors can butcher canon characters. Although your experience generally seems to lay with Revan and other KOTOR characters in fan fics, I do have two questions for you:


 * 1) Now that you've met Ben Kenobi, who is obviously the re-imagined Obi-Wan Kenobi, what do you think of him? Do you like him so far? Have I ruined this iconic character?
 * 2) Michael is obviously Anakin Skywalker, so what do you think of him? Do you like him so far? Have I ruined the future Darth Vader?

Of course, you've only had 6 chapters with Michael and only 1 with Ben so all manner of horrible things could happen later that would make you think I've butchered them, but beginnings are important too.

Bonus question: what do you think of Logan's introduction as the rogue, Han Solo archetype?